ginyi1111 Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Have I dumped? Yes... I've gone back. Why did you go back? Was it carrot dangling or was it because you wanted her back? I hope this ex of mine doesnt' come back... I can't handle it emotionally.. this is the first time i've ever been physically USED and emotionally abused at the SAME time. It SUCKS. I wish mine wont come back too. I cant handle talking to him again without feeling like slapping his face..
waterrat Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 I do believe it is know as a hoover... Hoovered=After the vacuum cleaner, to be sucked back into the relationship for another ride on the rollercoaster.
LovelyDaze Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 Ever been dumped? I have... good breakups ... bad break ups... They always come back. Every single ex. Have I dumped? Yes... I've gone back. Unless you're emotionally ****ED UP... you will ALWAYS care. You spent time with that someone.. you invested yourself into that someone... you are with them STILL and they are with you. Even if it's just a friendship.. or acquaintanceship.. you will be there.. or vice versa. I've seen it time and time again. I'm sure a lot of people have. It SUCKS hardcore. I hope this ex of mine doesnt' come back... I can't handle it emotionally.. this is the first time i've ever been physically USED and emotionally abused at the SAME time. It SUCKS. Agreed. We all would be lying if we said that it didn't hurt both ways. It hurts when the ex up and leaves and it hurts when they come back in little increments only to stay on their side of the fence. The best thing for us to do is to tread through the pain. Don't necessarily wallow in it, but walk through it by seeking the issues and patterns of our part of the breakup. Whether we keep choosing a certain type or if we allowed that ex to behave in an unacceptable manner suddenly...whatever it is, we must work hard to better ourselves so we can be at our best to attract THE best! BTW: Thank you for your kind words earlier in this thread. I just hate that we all have been hurt at all. Helps to have good pals on LS!
kristinabopp Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 i will be sooo happy if i get that text! but ive been doing strict NC for almost 3weeks! and im still grieving, nonstop crying since the day he broke up which is dec.24th. *nice christmas gift for me huh?* i beg/plead so many times i look like a retard when i did those, but i didnt care coz i care more bout him and me. but then this time he didnt gave me a chance, he left me OUT OF THE BLUE! i didnt even expect this. i thought me and him are forever and will never end. we wre each others first in everything first gf/bf. we lived together for 9months and been together for 1 yr and 2 months. how can someone just throw that away? weve been through ups and downs even with the most toughest problem ever! but he threw it all away and left me in the middle of ALL MY PROBLEMS! yea i threat him about break ups many times, but i stopped it, but he gets back at me by threatning me with break ups,and i got so paranoid with it thats why i have to control myself bout my actions when he started doing it. we break up but after 5mins to 1 hour were back again! its nothing! this is my biggest downfall in my life. i just cant believe he left me. since the day he broke up, i havent heard from him since. i feel like he will never ever talk to me again. but when he broke up he said he wont talk to me not for the next 6months. im like wtf! time limit? really?! and he said *COZ UR NOT MY GIRLFRIEND ANYMORE!*... im losing hope lately, i feel like he never care and just threw all of this away. i wish he comes back, but really, im losing hope. i cant even stop thinking bout him, specially that i cry everyday and i cant control it. specially in the morning, well not just in the morning but EVERY MINUTE my mind is thnking of him and i get sooooooo depressed blablabla. im like here in LS everyday to burn time and make time more faster. LS is the best website ever, i feel ok knowing that im not the one who is suffering like this, but i also feel bad because i dont want to see people suffering as well. i want everyone to be happy. well you get my point, youre definitely not alone.. you have me and all the LS members.
ginyi1111 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 this is my biggest downfall in my life. i just cant believe he left me. since the day he broke up, i havent heard from him since. I get how you are feeling Kristina. My ex has disappeared the day he broke up with me and it hurts like hell. But you have to go through each day and the pain WILL lessen. I know all you want is for him to come back right now, and so do I, I want my ex to come back to me too. But it is best not to bank on that hope on what the LS-ers say that they will come back bearing breadcrumbs and carrots because you are just giving yourself false hope that there might be a meaning in them contacting you again. Personally I think my ex is too square and stubborn headed to come back to me even though if he realised he has made a mistake. So the only way I can handle this is, he has chosen to not be with me and I cannot change the way that he thinks or what he wants in life or who he wants to be with.
Untamed21 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Don't reply. Not if you are sure of your decision, my dear. If he broke your heart and if you feel that you are better off without him six months later, don't reply. Just don't.
kristinabopp Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 true. im losing hope already and i dont even think he will contact me ever again. but i dont mind, there are days/times that i realized that he is not worth it coz i gave my everything to him and he didnt. i mean, even if he realized that he has made a mistake, i feel like and MAYBE i know that he will follow what his family wants to make them more happier than following what he wants to make himself happy. but ugh! i just feel soooo ANGRY knowing that i fought for him and stuff like that and this is what i got. im not expecting anything in return but atleast it should be nice, you know.. everytime i think of break ups.*since he is my first love/bf* i always think that break ups mean -NO RETURN-. coz idk. i never experienced it yet. or maybe i will never experience it. but yea. i think of it as *once its over, ITS OVER!* coz thats the reason why they broke up with us.. they dont to be with us anymore coz if they do, THEY WILL NEVER LEAVE US.. thats why im always here in LS. it makes me feel stronger everytime i see people who are suffering like me and other people are trying to help them fight and face their problems. its like a team. it will be more better if everyone can chat online through LS website. that would be cool.
xtreme Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Kristina, I know how you feel but for me I'm the guy and we were together for 3 years and it was last week that it all ended as much as I still carry hope inside, I wish the people that leave us can realize their mistakes.
kristinabopp Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 ouch, im so sorry xtreme..that is what im wishing for too, that the people who leave us can realize their mistakes. but we need to think that they will never ever come back. even if they do, the trust is not there anymore. im paranoid, paranoid that if he comes back, he will leave again. and its making my mind go crazy! yes, i DO FORGIVE, BUT I DONT FORGET. its impossible for me to forget, but if i try, maybe ill forget it but mostly not. specially if i get so mad. but really, its hard to forget the mistakes that they made specially that we gave our 1000000% TRUST and LOVE to the person we love the most.
xtreme Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 It's hard to forget or give up in my situation since I feel like it was my fault that the person left and stopped having the same feelings especially if I feel I stopped giving her the same attention like I did at the start of the relationship. All I do right now is try to keep myself busy but it's hard but I'm working on improving myself though..Though we talked the last couple of days...I guess I will stop contacting her or messaging her little by little..
kristinabopp Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 omg. i know!! i feel the same way too! i feel like it was my fault why he left me because im too bossy or i want everything on my way or SOMETHING like that! i feel so guilty/bad whatsoever. atleast you are trying to make yourself busy, unlike me i cant even go anywhere, i havent seen the sun since last week coz i never go out and the transportation is hard here. what i do, is be on LS and search something on the internet and process my college stuff.. just do your best to keep yourself busy and try to have fun for now even if its HARD. i know its hard, coz when he broke up with me, i went to las vegas and i DIDNT have fun because its just way to painful that it happened *me and him are supposed to be together in vegas but he left me so im alone*. the thought of him is on my mind/heart and it wont even let me smile.i keep goin to the bathroom just to cry.. so yea whenever you feel down, just go here in LS and were here for you! and if i were you, do NC right away.. i did that to make him miss me. *even if i know he wont miss me*. try and do it! Strict NC! i blocked him on msn/yahoo! do the same!
xtreme Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Damn, I haven't really gone out with friends, since I lost alot of my friends because I devoted my time to her. I do the same things to keep myself busy such as surf here, college work, or exercise =/ I don't know if I can block her on MSN without me thinking that it would be immature But I haven't message her once today so she doesn't get use to it that Ill message her everyday even if were friends. I dont want to be friends but ill still be there for her in good or bad. But Ill see where life takes me..but its like the same thing were feeling kristina =(
kristinabopp Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 i dont have friends in here. i have friends in dc. the reason why i blocked him on msn/yahoo is because he BLOCKED ME FIRST. he blocked me on facebook/yahoo/msn. how cool is that? im so pissed!im in so much pain!! *but i told him when he broke up that if you need me im always here for you and your always welcome and blablabla* damn it!its so painful.!! wait, who broke up, you or her?
sedgwick Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Honestly, I've had several not come back. My most recent ex is one. I love him with all my heart, the relationship was amazing, and now he wants nothing to do with me. He completely disappeared from my life 2.5 years ago, and that's it, he's gone. Don't respond to yours until he tells you he wants you and only you and is actively working to change his issues, like with therapy. Only then are they worth giving the time of day.
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