Kristie16 Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 I understand how narcissists choose their victims, but how does he choose between who is going to be his girlfriend/wife and who is going to be the other woman? For example, why did Tiger Woods choose to marry Elin rather than one of the other girls he slept with? How does the narcissist choose who is going to be the primary source and who is going to be the secondary source?
New_Life08 Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 I don't know what you mean exactly, but a Narcissist isn't defined by cheating. Many ppl with NPD are loyal to their mate. They behave with an over-blown sense of entitlement, they often exaggerate personal achievements to look superior to others. Everything revolves around them, and have very little empathy for others. I am sure there are Narcissists who cheat, but I don't know that this is typical behavior of the narcissist, so I am not sure how to answer this question.
hopesndreams Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 They will go for someone going through a tough time, vulnerable and will be their knight in shining armor. They ditch their primary source when they sense the person no longer "needs" them as much as they once did and will then look for someone else. They need to be looked upon as gods. They need an Echo.
New_Life08 Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 They will go for someone going through a tough time, vulnerable and will be their knight in shining armor. They ditch their primary source when they sense the person no longer "needs" them as much as they once did and will then look for someone else. They need to be looked upon as gods. They need an Echo. I had no idea this is how a Narcissist operates relationship-wise. We learn something new everyday...and interesting I might add.
hopesndreams Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 I had no idea this is how a Narcissist operates relationship-wise. We learn something new everyday...and interesting I might add. Are you being sarcastic?
theBrokenMuse Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 I understand how narcissists choose their victims, but how does he choose between who is going to be his girlfriend/wife and who is going to be the other woman? For example, why did Tiger Woods choose to marry Elin rather than one of the other girls he slept with? How does the narcissist choose who is going to be the primary source and who is going to be the secondary source? The wife depends entirely on the image he is looking to project. She is not a human being but a reflection upon him.
Johnny M Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 I understand how narcissists choose their victims, but how does he choose between who is going to be his girlfriend/wife and who is going to be the other woman? For example, why did Tiger Woods choose to marry Elin rather than one of the other girls he slept with? How does the narcissist choose who is going to be the primary source and who is going to be the secondary source? I don't think you understand what the word 'narcissist' means. New Life's definition above is pretty much correct. A narcissist is someone who is in love with himself (or herself). He treats other people like sh*t because he simply doesn't care about them, not because he is actively trying to victimize them. Thus, a narcissist would cheat because he doesn't care about the other person's feeling, not because he is intentionally trying to hurt that person's feelings.
threebyfate Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 The wife depends entirely on the image he is looking to project. She is not a human being but a reflection upon him.Yup, as someone who married and divorced a diagnosed NPDer, that's about it. She has to be good to look at and good on paper. It helps to have good bloodlines and societal status, so you can breed the "right" kind of children.
New_Life08 Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Are you being sarcastic? No, I was not being sarcastic. I study human behavior and I am quite aware of narcissistic behavior (I was also married to one). I was unaware that they are pegged for this type of behavior in a relationship. I would like to say...although narcissism (as many disorders) are to different degrees, this behavior may or may not be typical in all cases.
BookerT Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 TBF said it all. Elin's hot, presentable, and it's obvious she'll make a good mother based on the fact that she's a nanny. Perfect wife material. But I think that's just male preference in general, not necessarily a narcissists....
New_Life08 Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 I don't think you understand what the word 'narcissist' means. New Life's definition above is pretty much correct. A narcissist is someone who is in love with himself (or herself). He treats other people like sh*t because he simply doesn't care about them, not because he is actively trying to victimize them. Thus, a narcissist would cheat because he doesn't care about the other person's feeling, not because he is intentionally trying to hurt that person's feelings. This is true in a narcissist; however, in some forms of narcissism being loyal to their partner is part of their desire to be admired/worshiped/self-grandiosity.
Author Kristie16 Posted January 13, 2010 Author Posted January 13, 2010 I realize narcissists are not intentionally trying to hurt people. But I'm curious as to why one is a primary and one a secondary source. From what I gather from the responses, the sig. other is a reflection of themselves, but are their typical characteristics of a secondary source?
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