Do you really care how many partners a woman has been with?

[donnamaybe]

it is only my domestic nature which keeps me from falling on random penises.

 

Or is the plural "peni?"

[Woggle]

I disagree. I think all that represssion would eventually make someone act out much more egregiously than if they had just been treated like a respected human being from the get go.

 

Is that why all the men I know who married feminists ended up getting treated like garbage?

[donnamaybe]

Is that why all the men I know who married feminists ended up getting treated like garbage?

 

I can't speak for your friends, but I do know you seem to keep some pretty lousy company considering that every woman your wife talks with is cheating on her husband. Why is that? Maybe you subconsciously surround yourself with these type of couples so you can reinforce your predisposed notions about women.

[Woggle]

I can't speak for your friends, but I do know you seem to keep some pretty lousy company considering that every woman your wife talks with is cheating on her husband. Why is that? Maybe you subconsciously surround yourself with these type of couples so you can reinforce your predisposed notions about women.

 

I actually try not to be so negative but what I see makes me. I know my father married a feminist and you all know the nightmare my household was growing up. I know when my ex started hanging out with some feminists is when she started cheating. The two cheaters I work with claim they cheat because of feminist reasons.

[Crazy Magnet]

I would guess that feminists are much more likely to cheat than stepford wives. Feminists view cheating on a man is turning the tables and just payback for injustices against women. There are many women who view it as a feminist act of rebellion.

 

 

It seems quite unfortunate that so many people here are still rooted in second wave feminism ideals. We sort of moved on from that about 20 years ago.

[tinktronik]

No I wouldn't ask as I wouldn't care.

 

I would however prefer her to have not had absolutley loads of relationships, because if she has there'd be more of a chance that our relationship wouldn't last.

 

As for non serious sexual partners, I honestly couldn't care less if she's had a lot. At least it means she's not a prude and enjoys sex.

 

I think your standpoint is very realistic. Today's society does involve women who have tons of short relationships, possibly because they are unfit relationship choices or they make bad choices themselves or they are not interested in actually having a long-term relationship.

 

On the other hand there are women who have had long term relationships and are able to engage with another person for long periods of time successfully but enjoy sex casually when not in a relationship.

 

Personally, I don't need someone to be committed to me exclusively, as long as it's safe, to enjoy sex. I think sex is whatever you put on it.

[donnamaybe]

The two cheaters I work with claim they cheat because of feminist reasons.

 

They cheat because they lack integrity. Period.

[calazhage]

Put it this way..

 

Let's say you meet and enter a serious relationship with a VERY attractive woman.. In the past she was either A or B.

 

A.Prior to meeting you, she viewed sex as something fun to spread around to most guys who bought her dinner. She slept with dozens of men.

 

B. Or, prior to meeting you, she viewed sex as something she does not freely give away, as she must be in love first. She slept with 2-3 men.

 

Now what man on Earth would prefer this woman to be more like woman A?

 

I would rather marry a woman who values herself. A woman with self control. A woman who cannot disconnect love from sex.

 

Many guys today just have to settle for woman B. Woman B however is not their first choice.

[tinktronik]

Put it this way..

 

Let's say you meet and enter a serious relationship with a VERY attractive woman.. In the past she was either A or B.

 

A.Prior to meeting you, she viewed sex as something fun to spread around to most guys who bought her dinner. She slept with dozens of men.

 

B. Or, prior to meeting you, she viewed sex as something she does not freely give away, as she must be in love first. She slept with 2-3 men.

 

Now what man on Earth would prefer this woman to be more like woman A?

 

I would rather marry a woman who values herself. A woman with self control. A woman who cannot disconnect love from sex.

 

Many guys today just have to settle for woman B. Woman B however is not their first choice.

 

LMAO. I agree.

[Stockalone]

Why ask, if you don't care? Is it just idle talk?..asking for the sake of asking...? and not liking the truth or not believing the answer? If you don't care, don't ask.

 

I agree that people who don't care, shouldn't ask. I ask because I need to know.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Do you really care how many partners a woman has been with?

 

 

 

No, particularly if she can count them without an Abacus.

 

 

(mind you, I don't care if she does count them, or can't even keep track)

[homersheineken]

If you were a man and had a choice to marry a feminist or a stepford wife what would you pick? Put yourself in a man's shoes and be honest with yourself.

 

I'm a male and I would definitely pick the feminist over the stepford wife. I want some one who will speak and has a back bone. Rolling over and being overly passive is such a turn off.

[homersheineken]

Put it this way..

 

Let's say you meet and enter a serious relationship with a VERY attractive woman.. In the past she was either A or B.

 

A.Prior to meeting you, she viewed sex as something fun to spread around to most guys who bought her dinner. She slept with dozens of men.

 

B. Or, prior to meeting you, she viewed sex as something she does not freely give away, as she must be in love first. She slept with 2-3 men.

 

Now what man on Earth would prefer this woman to be more like woman A?

 

I would rather marry a woman who values herself. A woman with self control. A woman who cannot disconnect love from sex.

 

Many guys today just have to settle for woman B. Woman B however is not their first choice.

 

This makes no sense. I don't see how having sex necessarily lowers one's value of them-self. I know quite a few women in your category A and they have no problem with their value or self worth. You're making assumptions that aren't true.

 

I could care less how many they've slept with. It's what they do after meeting me is what I care about.

[homersheineken]

The more men a women has been with, the less attracted I am to her. It makes me feel like I'm getting someone's leftovers or second best.

 

Unless you marry your grade/high school sweet heart who dated no one else, you are going to get other's leftovers. Get over it.

 

You don't even know why all of their other relations didn't work out. Maybe they just weren't compatible, maybe their partner didn't want to be in a relationship anymore and she did (and now you're indicting for this). People change.

 

So then with your theory, you should probably stop having sex, otherwise you're just developing a class of leftover worthless women...

[Woggle]

I'm a male and I would definitely pick the feminist over the stepford wife. I want some one who will speak and has a back bone. Rolling over and being overly passive is such a turn off.

 

Good luck with that because you will need it.

[Mr White]

For the guys on this thread (and they are NUMEROUS) who think it's okay for a man to have a vast sexual history but not a woman, IMO that is because they are afraid they won't measure up. If a woman has a very limited sexual history, she won't have much to compare them to, which makes them feels soooo much more secure.

 

 

That's just a lame excuse for being a slut .

I've dated women both with extensive and extremely limited sexual histories and the differences in their "skillz" are either non-existent or negligible. So, all else equal (which it is), why take on additional risk (picking up the promisquos one), for no additional payoff (i.e. mind blowing sex).

[calazhage]

Women are experts at rationalization..

 

I have a friend that is a girl that has always been very promiscuous.. She is 100% against cheating and always has been.

 

However, those are her words, and not her actions. She was cheating on someone with half the guys she had sex with, but in her mind there was always a reason as to why it is not really cheating. "He stopped paying attention to me.. I think he was cheating anyway...The sex only lasted a minute so it does not count...I was drunk..." etc

 

In my mind it is far easier for a woman to cheat who disconnects sex from love. A woman will have several opportunities, and relationships go through several low points, so if she views casual sex as no big deal, chances are greater that she will cheat sooner or later .

 

Also, many women might become somewhat addicted to sex with new people..For this type of woman there is no chance of making sure she remains faithful.

 

Once again, there are always some exceptions, but I would rather place my future in the hands of a woman who holds sex to a high regard and does not like the idea of strangers entering her body for fun.

[sally4sara]

In the past she was either A or B.

 

Either A or B huh?

 

Life hasn't been that simple since preschool.

 

You act like women are suppose to know who they will meet years in advance. As though we are psychic or just waiting around inanimate for some man to give us life.

 

I know the great relationship I have now is in large part due to the experiences I had in the relationships prior to it. As well, I learned invaluable life lessons during my time being single that contribute to the same.

 

Not everyone wants the their Whopper the same way you do. Shocking! I know......

[calazhage]

Ok ladies, let me ask you....

 

You enter a relationship with a handsome and successful doctor that is 35 years old.. He works at a large hospital.

 

Which scenario would you prefer?

 

He tells you he spent many years banging several dozen nurses, patients, co workers, girls at bars etc? But he says he will not cheat.. Maybe he even tries to tell you something like "Well honey, you will enjoy the fruits of my experiences"

 

Or he tells you he holds sex to a very high regard (and he really does), and he had 2 or 3 serious sexual relationships..

 

How secure would you feel in settling down with the doctor who had lots of casual sex with women hitting on him daily? This is someone who always viewed sex as nothing more than fun.. Do you really think now he will all of a sudden not enjoy random casual hookups?

 

 

The reason I use the doctor in this scenario is because he has more options than the common man and most likely will forever without even trying, which would make him almost equal to the amount of options almost ANY woman has sexually.

Edited February 27, 2010 by calazhage

[Mr White]

The response most women will give you is "I'm special, he will change for me"

[spookie]

im not a man, but it is hard for me to trust guys who are too inexperienced. i would worry after being with me they would wonder what else theyd been missing. likewise, it would take some time for me to trust a guy who made a hobby out of hooking up, unless hed stopped that before meeting me. id need the details behind a very high number before i felt ok about it.

[Alexz]

What's the old equation to get the true amount of partners?

 

Girls: Multiply the amount of guys they slept with by 2

 

Guys: Divide the amount of girls they slept with by 3

 

I don't think ANYTHING good can come out of asking someone this question.

 

That made my day.

 

Personally, I don't care how many people someone's slept with. As long as my girl is loyal to me in my relationship, it's none of my concern.

[sagetalk]

 

1. Unless you marry your grade/high school sweet heart who dated no one else, you are going to get other's leftovers. Get over it.

 

2. You don't even know why all of their other relations didn't work out. Maybe they just weren't compatible, maybe their partner didn't want to be in a relationship anymore and she did (and now you're indicting for this). People change.

 

3. So then with your theory, you should probably stop having sex, otherwise you're just developing a class of leftover worthless women...

 

1. No, I will not get over it. If you want girls who have been with lots of guys, great. I don't.

 

2. Maybe, I don't know, too many variables. A girl that has been with fewer guys has fewer variables for me to worry about. People change, is that your argument? Few people change, but even fewer change for the better.

 

3. For me, sex is reserved for only serious relationships. I have no desire to create leftovers for other guys for my own selfish pleasure. When someone has sex early in a relationship (which creates women who have had a large number of sexual partners), to me, it is classless and shows disrespect to her future partner if you break up.

[Woggle]

Women are experts at rationalization..

 

I have a friend that is a girl that has always been very promiscuous.. She is 100% against cheating and always has been.

 

However, those are her words, and not her actions. She was cheating on someone with half the guys she had sex with, but in her mind there was always a reason as to why it is not really cheating. "He stopped paying attention to me.. I think he was cheating anyway...The sex only lasted a minute so it does not count...I was drunk..." etc

 

In my mind it is far easier for a woman to cheat who disconnects sex from love. A woman will have several opportunities, and relationships go through several low points, so if she views casual sex as no big deal, chances are greater that she will cheat sooner or later .

 

Also, many women might become somewhat addicted to sex with new people..For this type of woman there is no chance of making sure she remains faithful.

 

Once again, there are always some exceptions, but I would rather place my future in the hands of a woman who holds sex to a high regard and does not like the idea of strangers entering her body for fun.

 

Very true. Women rarely ever back up their rhetoric with actions.

[homersheineken]

Good luck with that because you will need it.

 

Why will I need luck with that? I'm an intelligent well-educated confident person who has dated career-oriented "feminist" women. I can handle them no problem.

 

Hopefully they can handle me