Do you really care how many partners a woman has been with?

[gypsy_nicky]

In speaking yes we'll say we don't care but internally yes we do. It's right here in one of the replies stating how men inflate their sexual history while women downplay. This means most men have not been in more sexual trysts than women but are roughly equal. For both sexes it raises flags.

[Stockalone]

You don't have to lie. You can simply say "My past is none of your business...." If they don't accept that, then that is HIS problem, not hers.

 

Frankly I don't see the point of asking this question in a relationship. The past is the past and should have no relevence to a present or future relationship.

 

What's the old saying? "Let sleeping dogs lay..."

 

"None of your business" is an acceptable answer. I can respect that. But it also means the woman and I are not compatible and it's best if we both go our separate ways without wasting each other's time.

 

The number itself is not that important to me, how someone got to that number is even more relevant.

 

What are her views about sex? Is it an itch to scratch or is it an expression of deep affection? What are her views about ONS, FWB, casual sex in general? Is sharing (swinging, threesomes) okay, has she ever done it? Has she ever cheated?

 

I don't ask those questions because I have nothing better to do than to judge other people. I need to know because I need someone who shares my ideals and values.

[MissJoness]

20% of men get 80% of the sex from women. It's women who call women sluts and tramps. A woman only requires a pulse to have sex, a man has to have a lot more things going his way, hence why beta males don't get laid, because they lack those things. 99% of women could walk into a bar and shout "who wants to go home with me?" and will have a taker.

 

That would only work for Brad Pitt or some other celebrity. It requires skill for a man to have sex, and it only requires a pulse for a woman to have sex.

Unless you are incredibly ugly, deformed or weird looking I find it very hard to believe that a man has that hard of a time getting laid in this generation. Especially with the internet, you have all types of sites catered to ppl who just want a casual sexual fling. I had guy friends, who were fat and even they had women they could go to to get sex. There are strip clubs with women who give out blowjobs in the champagne room. It seems that the men who post here dont reflect reality at all.

 

Ive chatted with women who say they put out soon because they know there are other women who will put out even sooner.

[Lizzie60]

i've seen a few posts where men look down on women who have had a lot of partners or into casual sex. Just wondering when you court a girl do you ask her how many men she's been with? I've never had a guy ask me that before.

 

I know women who have had a lot of partners and they still end up getting married and having a traditional life like everybody else. Maybe their partner didn't care or they lied about how many men they've been with.

 

Really.. who care if the guy cares?

 

Thing is.. if it's a girl who had many partners.. she sure will not admit it.. unless she's dumb... of course she'll lie..

 

MEN: DO NOT ASK THIS QUESTION... IT'S POINTLESS... HONESTLY... THINK ABOUT IT..

[Ms. Joolie]

Although I did read somewhere that men are biologically programmed to 'spread their seed' if you will. Whereas, women aren't.

 

And, what, we women are programmed to accept seed, right? Lots and lots of seed.

 

Our sexual desire is a very base one, like the desire to eat. Do we eat everything in sight? Sure we're triggered to eat, but at some point we need to control ourselves. Sure it can be argued that we are programmed to do certain things, but that's only half of it. The complete thought should be that we are in control, we have a choice, a free will and the power to use it.

[You'reasian]

i've seen a few posts where men look down on women who have had a lot of partners or into casual sex. Just wondering when you court a girl do you ask her how many men she's been with? I've never had a guy ask me that before.

 

I know women who have had a lot of partners and they still end up getting married and having a traditional life like everybody else. Maybe their partner didn't care or they lied about how many men they've been with.

 

If she is chosing to be in a relationship with you, that's what should matter, but some experience is good. Too much? I'm not sure...

[CaliGuy]

Unless you are incredibly ugly, deformed or weird looking I find it very hard to believe that a man has that hard of a time getting laid in this generation. Especially with the internet, you have all types of sites catered to ppl who just want a casual sexual fling. I had guy friends, who were fat and even they had women they could go to to get sex. There are strip clubs with women who give out blowjobs in the champagne room. It seems that the men who post here dont reflect reality at all.

 

Ive chatted with women who say they put out soon because they know there are other women who will put out even sooner.

 

 

 

I don’t disagree with your statement. It's actually quite easy unless you're creepy. Who are all these guys boinking? There must be just as many women out there doing it as men, so....

 

That said, not every man is looking for that. Some of us want quality and are patient enough to wait for Ms Right, not Ms Right Now

[Ruby Slippers]

Evolutionary stable strategy also suggests that the female's best strategy is to marry a strong provider and secretly mate with the young stud with the great genes.

 

The extent to which morals and ethics drive behavior comes down to personal choice, for both women and men.

[meerkat stew]

Evolutionary stable strategy also suggests that the female's best strategy is to marry a strong provider and secretly mate with the young stud with the great genes.

 

The extent to which morals and ethics drive behavior comes down to personal choice, for both women and men.

 

Would also suggest that men's best strategy is to mutilate the female after fertilization so that she is unattractive to competitive males. Thank goodness we have big brains overlaid onto evolutionary imperatives.

[betamanlet]

Unless you are incredibly ugly, deformed or weird looking I find it very hard to believe that a man has that hard of a time getting laid in this generation. Especially with the internet, you have all types of sites catered to ppl who just want a casual sexual fling. I had guy friends, who were fat and even they had women they could go to to get sex. There are strip clubs with women who give out blowjobs in the champagne room. It seems that the men who post here dont reflect reality at all.

 

Ive chatted with women who say they put out soon because they know there are other women who will put out even sooner.

 

 

I suppose that's why ther eare more and more older male virgins?

 

And what your'e suggesting is basically prostitution. i'm talking about not having to pay for sex.

 

These women who put out "too soon" are the ones doing it with the 20% of men who get 80% of the sex. Women all desire the same few guys who get all the women. Hence why the STD infection rates are the way they are, a small group of men have most of the STDs, and many more women than men have STDs. not because it's easier for women to get STDs, but because women have the most sex with these core of popular men who have the STDs.

[You'reasian]

Would also suggest that men's best strategy is to mutilate the female after fertilization so that she is unattractive to competitive males. Thank goodness we have big brains overlaid onto evolutionary imperatives.

 

 

boy that hurts when others judge us by the same standards we use.

[Ms. Joolie]

It requires skill for a man to have sex, and it only requires a pulse for a woman to have sex.

 

It requires just as much effort for a woman to put herself out there for sex. Call it skill if you must, but it's only a little thoughtful effort needed on both parties to get some.

 

Getting laid isn't exactly a skill, a 15 year old can do it. It's more a skill to have great sex and great relationships.

[carhill]

It requires just as much effort for a woman to put herself out there for sex.

 

I'd honestly be interested in learning more. Tell me exactly how that switch gets turned on, you know the one that normally says 'stay away, asshat' and instead reads 'come here honey' and how much effort and time is spent in flipping that switch. I'd also be interested in the clothes, jewelry and hairstyles involved

 

Sincerely. I've seen a lifetime of this. How do women do it? Does the switch ever get stuck? Does how you appear physically matter, at all? Great stuff, and on-topic. To me, the number of partners a woman chooses to have bears upon her psychology, which is a component of compatibility. What are the components of that psychology? TBH, I'm starting to think that women compartmentalize more than we were previously led to believe.

[Ruby Slippers]

TBH, I'm starting to think that women compartmentalize more than we were previously led to believe.

I think you're right. I don't think men are necessarily any better at it than women -- it's just that society has said it's OK for men and not OK for women. But that's changing fast.

 

Smart women are figuring out that we're pretty much damned if we do and damned if we don't -- so we're at least going to enjoy ourselves along the way.

[Lizzie60]

I think you're right. I don't think men are necessarily any better at it than women -- it's just that society has said it's OK for men and not OK for women. But that's changing fast.

 

Smart women are figuring out that we're pretty much damned if we do and damned if we don't -- so we're at least going to enjoy ourselves along the way.

 

Totally agree with the bold part... so true.. in most cases...

[carhill]

Just as reflected in the OP, compartmentalization accepted, be aware, just like men's compartmentalization has affected you (women) and your choices and preferences in partners, yours will affect men and their perception of and choices in partners. Every action and perspective has its consequences.

[Ms. Joolie]

I'd honestly be interested in learning more. Tell me exactly how that switch gets turned on, you know the one that normally says 'stay away, asshat' and instead reads 'come here honey' and how much effort and time is spent in flipping that switch. I'd also be interested in the clothes, jewelry and hairstyles involved

 

Sincerely. I've seen a lifetime of this. How do women do it? Does the switch ever get stuck? Does how you appear physically matter, at all? Great stuff, and on-topic. To me, the number of partners a woman chooses to have bears upon her psychology, which is a component of compatibility. What are the components of that psychology? TBH, I'm starting to think that women compartmentalize more than we were previously led to believe.

 

I think you are questioning how a woman goes about making herself available or unavailable sexually, and how conscious she is of that decision.

 

From a man's point of view, and in relation to this thread, it matters very much to him how sexually available she makes herself to other men.

 

But, yes, it is a matter of the psyche of that woman and will take a man's discernment. My argument is that knowing the number of partner's in a woman's past is not enough to discern a woman, only perhaps her past, and with her past comes a story.

 

Trying to discern how casual a woman's attitudes towards sex is will be as easy as trying to discern the man's, and today being casual about sex is extremely normal.

[pyroguy]

Evolutionary stable strategy also suggests that the female's best strategy is to marry a strong provider and secretly mate with the young stud with the great genes.

The extent to which morals and ethics drive behavior comes down to personal choice, for both women and men.

 

 

And, Isn't this currently happening? How many posts are on this board of women who are not attracted to their spouse? or who cheat? or fantasize incessantly about other men? chilling-for men anyway. This is why I say, contrary to what others say, this is now a woman's world.

[carhill]

If/when a woman's 'numbers' differ markedly from my own, this is where the motivations and psychological factors come into play. Are those triggers, proclivities, and impetuses compatible with my own. Unknown.

 

I've watched with great care how women play with their switches, both married and single women, and have experienced the reality of the switch getting moved, both in healthy and unhealthy dynamics. Experience has taught me to be open-minded, but verify that which is important to me. The story behind the number is what is important to me. YMMV

 

TBH, a woman who is casual about sex would be incompatible. I married one of those. She was just as casual about intimacy. IMO, that perspective doesn't turn upon numbers, but a high number can indicate a proclivity for that perspective. It's good information, and not an indictment.

[harmfulsweetz]

And, what, we women are programmed to accept seed, right? Lots and lots of seed.

 

Our sexual desire is a very base one, like the desire to eat. Do we eat everything in sight? Sure we're triggered to eat, but at some point we need to control ourselves. Sure it can be argued that we are programmed to do certain things, but that's only half of it. The complete thought should be that we are in control, we have a choice, a free will and the power to use it.

 

Agreed. I was just reeling off what I read, I think just because it's there in front of us doesn't mean we have to take it.

[Chicago_Guy]

It's got nothing to do with being considered easy or with women "getting in touch with their sexuality". In fact, I've never heard of anyone rejecting a woman because she was too in touch with her sexuality. What a bizarre thing to say.

 

Here's why some men dislike women who have been around the block too many times. In my observation, girls who sleep around a lot don't sleep with just anybody. Their short-term flings are inevitably with guys who are out of their league for the purpose of long-term relationships. So they have their fun with the typical hot guys who have zero interest in anything more serious with them. At the same time, the typical 'average' guy is getting blue balls (as evidenced by the multitude of posts from frustrated men on these forum) because he's too short, or too bald, too unhip, too middle class, or too whatever.

 

At some point, the fun loving gal decides that she wants to get married and have kids and reluctantly realizes that she will have to settle down for an 'average guy'. And this average guy, who is now 30+, is all of a sudden a much hotter commodity than he was in his 20s. He is out of college, established in life, and is suddenly in demand with women whose biological clock has hit the eleventh hour. But all these years of rejection and frustration have made him resentful. And now that he has the upper hand hand in the dating world, it's not surprising that he is biased against women who have been sleeping around with the 'cool' guys while avoiding men like him.

 

This is actually a good argument as to why those "average" guys in their 30s should go for younger women.

[MissJoness]

I suppose that's why ther eare more and more older male virgins?

 

And what your'e suggesting is basically prostitution. i'm talking about not having to pay for sex.

 

These women who put out "too soon" are the ones doing it with the 20% of men who get 80% of the sex. Women all desire the same few guys who get all the women. Hence why the STD infection rates are the way they are, a small group of men have most of the STDs, and many more women than men have STDs. not because it's easier for women to get STDs, but because women have the most sex with these core of popular men who have the STDs.

Where are you getting those numbers from? Do you live in a very small suburban town or something? Because if you live in a very large city you would see how ridiculous those percentages you put up are.

 

 

And older adult male virgins are not common.

[jw90063]

i've seen a few posts where men look down on women who have had a lot of partners or into casual sex. Just wondering when you court a girl do you ask her how many men she's been with? I've never had a guy ask me that before.

 

I know women who have had a lot of partners and they still end up getting married and having a traditional life like everybody else. Maybe their partner didn't care or they lied about how many men they've been with.

 

I'm not a guy, but I think it does matter how many partners someone has been with. I think this can be a good indicator of what kind of individual they are. If you don't care about morals or values, I guess it wouldn't matter so much. Even if the person says they are clear of STD'S, I still would feel funny about being intimate knowing they have slept with so many people.

 

I think this is something that should always be discussed when entering a relationship. I don't get how some people simple just don't want to know. I think that's foolish. Experience is one thing, but way too much experience is not always a good thing.

[Angel1111]

I know a twenty-five year old man that has had over 120 sex partners. He is physically attractive, but when he disclosed this information, I wondered if he had ever gotten an STD. I am not experienced. I've had one partner. If I ever have another partner, it will be the man I marry. I don't care how many sex partners he has had as long as none of them were male, he doesn't have a disease, and he can be trusted.

 

This would be a major turn-off for me. It tells me that he no discrimination about who he sleeps with, and that women are probably just objects to him.

[MissJoness]

This is actually a good argument as to why those "average" guys in their 30s should go for younger women.

How so? All the men on LS claim that when are in their 20s they want the thugs & players but when they hit 30+ years old they want the average guys.

 

So wouldn't the new batch of 20 somethings be doing the same thing