Do you really care how many partners a woman has been with?

[Woggle]

Why will I need luck with that? I'm an intelligent well-educated confident person who has dated career-oriented "feminist" women. I can handle them no problem.

 

Hopefully they can handle me

 

If you can find some men who married feminists I suggest you talk to them. It might make you think twice.

[homersheineken]

Ok ladies, let me ask you....

 

You enter a relationship with a handsome and successful doctor that is 35 years old.. He works at a large hospital.

 

Which scenario would you prefer?

 

He tells you he spent many years banging several dozen nurses, patients, co workers, girls at bars etc? But he says he will not cheat.. Maybe he even tries to tell you something like "Well honey, you will enjoy the fruits of my experiences"

 

Or he tells you he holds sex to a very high regard (and he really does), and he had 2 or 3 serious sexual relationships..

 

How secure would you feel in settling down with the doctor who had lots of casual sex with women hitting on him daily? This is someone who always viewed sex as nothing more than fun.. Do you really think now he will all of a sudden not enjoy random casual hookups?

 

 

The reason I use the doctor in this scenario is because he has more options than the common man and most likely will forever without even trying, which would make him almost equal to the amount of options almost ANY woman has sexually.

 

This post is a load of BS. The number of women you've dated or slept with has absolutely no correlation on being faithful. I've been with a fair share and I have never ever cheated. Ever. Period.

[homersheineken]

1. No, I will not get over it. If you want girls who have been with lots of guys, great. I don't.

 

2. Maybe, I don't know, too many variables. A girl that has been with fewer guys has fewer variables for me to worry about. People change, is that your argument? Few people change, but even fewer change for the better.

 

3. For me, sex is reserved for only serious relationships. I have no desire to create leftovers for other guys for my own selfish pleasure. When someone has sex early in a relationship (which creates women who have had a large number of sexual partners), to me, it is classless and shows disrespect to her future partner if you break up.

 

1) You better get over it or you will never date again. Everyone is someone else's "leftovers" as you so insultingly call it. So you will be dating "leftovers" no matter what (unless you want completely unexperienced women which can probably only be found in HS which is a whole new realm of creepiness).

 

And I do thank you for leaving me these women. Less competition = better odds for me. Maybe they can also teach me something new, something that will take a lot of practice

 

2) You don't know she has fewer variables. She could have even more problems. What if she was in a horribly abusive relationship and the baggage that comes with that? You're making silly assumptions.

 

And few people change? Are you the same person you were in HS? Or even 5 years ago? If so that's sad. I see people all the time changing and for the BETTER. Who are you hanging out with where they don't improve (or at least try to improve)??

 

3) Unless you plan on only having sex with 1 more person who you will marry and whom you will never divorce nor cheat on, your are creating more leftover worthless women as you endearingly call it. Based on what you've said, you've already created a couple since you've had a couple of LTR and thus already created some leftovers. How fortunate and convenient, though, that you don't call yourself a leftover or worthless since you've had sex with more than 1 person, it only applies to other people...

[homersheineken]

If you can find some men who married feminists I suggest you talk to them. It might make you think twice.

 

I have a couple of friends who have. They are strong and confident men. It's not a problem. They aren't insecure.

[Woggle]

I have a couple of friends who have. They are strong and confident men. It's not a problem. They aren't insecure.

 

I wonder what their home life is really like and what their wives really think of them.

[homersheineken]

I wonder what their home life is really like and what their wives really think of them.

 

They're pretty happy and they show it. I have other friends who can't stand their marriage (both stepford and feminists) and it shows in our outings.

 

I'm sorry you're not happy in your marriage with a feminist, but that doesn't mean that all of them are mean condescending b****es who look to only bully and tear down their husband. That's just not true.

Edited February 27, 2010 by homersheineken

[sally4sara]

The problem with most of the scenarios being posted is they are black and white - no in between. This isn't true to life.

 

Sex doesn't ruin anyone. Simply having had sex does not indicate intention or motive. Simply having had sex can be influenced by morals or code of honor, but sex is not where we get our morals or code of honor. If someone has not been instilled with morals or a code of honor - it doesn't matter if they're a virgin or hyper experienced. They will take those morals and apply them to every aspect of their dealings. Perhaps they will, along the way, learn new ways of doing things or see instances where their actions caused problems and decide to do it different next time, but this applies to everything and not just sex.

 

Posters in this thread are making sex into everything that a person's character could possibly be comprised of and therefore, struggle to see how sex isn't what makes us who we are. If it were so, we wouldn't have any values or character till we had sex.

[Woggle]

They're pretty happy and they show it. I have other friends who can't stand their marriage (both stepford and feminists) and it shows in our outings.

 

I'm sorry you're not happy in your marriage with a feminist, but that doesn't mean that all of them are mean condescending b****es who look to only bully and tear down their husband. That's just not true.

 

Feminists are incapable of truly loving a man so I don't see how they can be happy in a marriage.

[homersheineken]

Feminists are incapable of truly loving a man so I don't see how they can be happy in a marriage.

 

Now you're being silly

[Woggle]

Now you're being silly

 

It's the truth. I have yet to see one happy and long lasting marriage involving a feminist.

[sagetalk]

1)

 

1. You better get over it or you will never date again.

 

And I do thank you for leaving me these women. Less competition = better odds for me.

 

2. You don't know she has fewer variables. She could have even more problems. What if she was in a horribly abusive relationship and the baggage that comes with that? You're making silly assumptions.

 

3. And few people change? Are you the same person you were in HS? Or even 5 years ago? If so that's sad. I see people all the time changing and for the BETTER. Who are you hanging out with where they don't improve (or at least try to improve)??

 

4. Unless you plan on only having sex with 1 more person who you will marry and whom you will never divorce nor cheat on, your are creating more leftover worthless women as you endearingly call it. Based on what you've said, you've already created a couple since you've had a couple of LTR and thus already created some leftovers. How fortunate and convenient, though, that you don't call yourself a leftover or worthless since you've had sex with more than 1 person, it only applies to other people...

 

1. Your fantasies are not reality, I'll be just fine. If you want to date "experienced" (I'm being nice ) girls, then go right ahead. You won't have to compete with me to get them.

 

2. The same could be said of girls with many partners, they just have the added baggage of many partners.

 

3. I guess it depends on what you mean by changing. I think we are speaking of two different things.

 

4. This is just pathetic , as I said before, women who have had a large number of sexual partners have sex early in their relationships. Women who wait tend to have fewer sexual partners (by time factors alone). The leftovers are the the former women, not latter.

[spookie]

This is complete bull****. You hate men who don't have experience and make up trash stories about people you don't even know.

 

I'm inexperience because people like and your friends destroyed all my confidence. All gone. Yet, it's still not enough and you still have to trash those with little to no experince.

 

Is a late 30s virgin inexperienced enough? I give up with dating. Even if I got through a few dates there would be someone like you trying to rip her away from me because I'm untrustworthy.

 

I hope your current relationship breaks apart. :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

 

LOL really?

 

IMO it's important in a relationship that both partners can recognize their sexual compatibility, which is impossible (imo) unless you've experienced BAD sex.

 

I want someone who's had as much bad sex as I have.

[donnamaybe]

Why will I need luck with that? I'm an intelligent well-educated confident person who has dated career-oriented "feminist" women. I can handle them no problem.

 

Hopefully they can handle me

 

A MAN!!!!

[donnamaybe]

I have a couple of friends who have. They are strong and confident men. It's not a problem. They aren't insecure.

 

Therein lies the solution!

[donnamaybe]

It's the truth. I have yet to see one happy and long lasting marriage involving a feminist.

 

So we should assume, then, that YOUR wife is a stay-at-home who remains barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen (i.e. Stepford Wife)?

[dinzdale]

I havne't read through the whole thread, but here is my take on the origional question.

 

Lets say my girl and I have been toether for about a year. We're 30, and love eachother to pieces. She's had about 20 sexual partners in her life, and about 10 boyfreinds.

 

The problem here is that i have to initiate sex ALL the time. She never does. I've done a lot of things to try to get her to, such as - making dinner, taking her out for dinner, telling her how lovely and beautiful she is, hiking, biking, walking, excersing, going out, just being nice in general, then i have to go down on her for 20 mins before she's remotly turned on. I'm not ugly, an idiot, and I'm pretty good in the sack (with her anyway, we seem to connect pretty well). So why is it that i have to work so hard on getting some action from her when any other dude at the bar, the farmers market, grocery store or whatever has to talk to her for 5 seconds and she takes him home and screws the hell out of him?

 

This is why it matters to me, not nessecarily early in the relationship, but later on.

[carhill]

Assuming first sexual activity at 20, that's 30 partners in ten years, or three per year, one of whom was a boyfriend. I'm not seeing the 5 second pick-up thing here, but feel free to enlighten me. To me, it sounds like she doesn't find you attractive sexually and/or doesn't feel close to you emotionally. Novel idea....... Talk about it

[Chicago_Guy]

I havne't read through the whole thread, but here is my take on the origional question.

 

Lets say my girl and I have been toether for about a year. We're 30, and love eachother to pieces. She's had about 20 sexual partners in her life, and about 10 boyfreinds.

 

The problem here is that i have to initiate sex ALL the time. She never does. I've done a lot of things to try to get her to, such as - making dinner, taking her out for dinner, telling her how lovely and beautiful she is, hiking, biking, walking, excersing, going out, just being nice in general, then i have to go down on her for 20 mins before she's remotly turned on. I'm not ugly, an idiot, and I'm pretty good in the sack (with her anyway, we seem to connect pretty well). So why is it that i have to work so hard on getting some action from her when any other dude at the bar, the farmers market, grocery store or whatever has to talk to her for 5 seconds and she takes him home and screws the hell out of him?

 

This is why it matters to me, not nessecarily early in the relationship, but later on.

 

That does seem odd that someone so promiscuous would seem disinterested about having sex with you. Maybe she prefers to be with strangers for some weird reason?

 

Did she really tell you that she had sex with some random guy minutes after meeting him at a grocery store or farmer's market? If so, she sounds like bad news to me.

[Barky]

Nobody should know that much about anyone else's sex life. Don't ask, don't tell.

[Woggle]

So we should assume, then, that YOUR wife is a stay-at-home who remains barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen (i.e. Stepford Wife)?

 

She is an intelligent and independent woman but she actually likes men and treats me well.

[dinzdale]

Assuming first sexual activity at 20, that's 30 partners in ten years, or three per year, one of whom was a boyfriend. I'm not seeing the 5 second pick-up thing here, but feel free to enlighten me. To me, it sounds like she doesn't find you attractive sexually and/or doesn't feel close to you emotionally. Novel idea....... Talk about it

 

20 partners - 10 boyfriends (or people she's seeing/dating) = 10 one nighters.

 

sorry, should of carified.

 

I have brought it up to her before, (a bunch of times). She says its her birth control (so, she jsut started on birth control?) she doesn't feel as attractive to herself anymore, ( i tell her a lot that she's beautiful, my name for her is gorgeous). I do know she loves me to bits. She always tells me, and I can kind of tell. I know what its like dating a girl thats not interested in me.

 

You could be right that she's not sexually attracted to me...so what would be the point of the whole relationship? I mean if you don't want to screw your sig. other, where does that leave ya?

[Crazy Magnet]

20 partners - 10 boyfriends (or people she's seeing/dating) = 10 one nighters.

 

sorry, should of carified.

 

I have brought it up to her before, (a bunch of times). She says its her birth control (so, she jsut started on birth control?) she doesn't feel as attractive to herself anymore, ( i tell her a lot that she's beautiful, my name for her is gorgeous). I do know she loves me to bits. She always tells me, and I can kind of tell. I know what its like dating a girl thats not interested in me.

 

You could be right that she's not sexually attracted to me...so what would be the point of the whole relationship? I mean if you don't want to screw your sig. other, where does that leave ya?

 

 

For me, it's always about emotional closeness. If I don't feel emotionally close to a man, he's not coming anywhere near my panties, I don't care how hot he is! But then, I've never had a ONS or had sex with anybody I didn't know really well (even in short relationships, they were usually with guys I had known for at most several years, at least several months), so your gf's take is probably different than mine.

[wheream_i]

I'm one of those guys who would want to ask a girl but know full well that I won't like the answer. I've had a few different g/f's tell me and I never know what to think about the answer. I'm 31 years old and I usually date older women because the maturity level and their experience. And with that experience comes....practice. So I usually expect a high number.

 

And what is a high number anyway?

 

As many ONS's as I've had, they've been with girls who by association have engaged in ONS's as well. The one's that would have you believe that they have only been with 5 guys and all have been relationships.

[Ruby Slippers]

I haven't kept up with this whole thread, but I did spot this response to me:

 

I doubt you would ever sit across a table discussing this topic with live people and make such a claim with a straight face. Instead of 60 seconds walking down a shopping mall to find an average guy to have sex with, any non hideous woman could spend, say 5 more minutes to scope out a hot guy for sex who would be willing. This 5 minutes is about as long as it would take Brad Pitt to find a hot woman who was willing for sex. So every non hideous woman has the same sex pulling ability with hot partners as Brad Pitt.

Whoever said that "hot", by itself, is as important a criterion for sex to women as it is to men? Sure, to some it is, but not to me, and not to plenty of other women. I am aware that I and most other women could easily have sex with a "hot" man within the hour. But hotness alone is not enough to make me decide to have sex with someone -- not by a long shot.

 

To me, hot is NEVER the most important quality in a potential sex partner. In almost all cases, I've got a list about 10 qualities long just for sexual selection, and I'm not the only woman who feels this way. I don't care how hot a man is, if he's an idiot, I have ZERO desire to have sex with him. If he's a jerk, I have ZERO desire to have sex with him. If he has bad manners, I have zero desire to have sex with him.

 

In fact, I went out on a date with one of the most physically attractive men I've ever been on a date with a few months ago, and I didn't accept a second date because he was boring and did not excite anything but my eyes.

 

No matter how hot a guy is, he still has to be relatively intelligent, well-mannered, warm and friendly, and so on for me to want to have sex with him. If anything, it's harder for a woman to find that than it is for a man to find a female target who is simply attractive and nothing more.

 

Like most women, I've had opportunities to have sex with hundreds of different men, and if I'd made a specific effort, that number could get up into the thousands. But I've had sex with fewer than 10 men, and almost all of these were men I was in a relationship with.

 

I'd hardly be considered promiscuous, but I speak up in these threads because the generalizations are narrow-minded and ridiculous.

[Sharla]

Like most women, I've had opportunities to have sex with hundreds of different men, and if I'd made a specific effort, that number could get up into the thousands. But I've had sex with fewer than 10 men, and almost all of these were men I was in a relationship with.

 

That's an excellent perspective.

 

My average is 1 partner every two years (if you take my "number" and divide by the number of years I've been sexually active).

 

Everyone has their standards, but I can't help but think some of the opinions people have towards the subject are a bit over the top. But then again, everyone is entitled to have their own opinion, as we are all our own individual with our own viewpoints.