Do you really care how many partners a woman has been with?

January 11, 2010

i've seen a few posts where men look down on women who have had a lot of partners or into casual sex. Just wondering when you court a girl do you ask her how many men she's been with? I've never had a guy ask me that before.

I know women who have had a lot of partners and they still end up getting married and having a traditional life like everybody else. Maybe their partner didn't care or they lied about how many men they've been with.

January 11, 2010

I've seen this alot....It's yet another double standard: Men can sleep with as many women as they want, while women who do that are considered easy. I think it's a load of bull.

I've encountered my share of men that look down on women having many partners..I just brush it off...After all, they bed whomever they can, whenever they can. For whatever assinine reasons, women can't do that...

I think it has a little to do with women becoming more in touch with their sexuality....And I think it puts people off. Men are used to being the dominant sex in society, especially in the bedroom, and perhaps the idea of a woman that knows what she wants sexually freaks them out...

January 11, 2010

I've seen this alot....It's yet another double standard: Men can sleep with as many women as they want, while women who do that are considered easy. I think it's a load of bull.

I've encountered my share of men that look down on women having many partners..I just brush it off...After all, they bed whomever they can, whenever they can. For whatever assinine reasons, women can't do that...

I think it has a little to do with women becoming more in touch with their sexuality....And I think it puts people off. Men are used to being the dominant sex in society, especially in the bedroom, and perhaps the idea of a woman that knows what she wants sexually freaks them out...

Well, I think you're half right. Women certainly enjoy plenty of social double standards these days too. and they enjoy them fully.

Next, this whole guy's are studs thing is overblown. Many a woman has looked down on men who were "male sluts" as not good boyfriend material. Also, as was once pointed out on this board, we only look at it as an accomplishemnt for these men because it's much more difficult for men to get sex, especially repeatedly-from good looking women. I think we marvel on how they can do it;)

In my research sitting back and researching female sexuality and attitudes, I have a probably not popular belief (at least amongst these modern-day alph-male wannabees) that men are threatened more by the details of her sexuality and how that relates to his sexual attributes and skill.

That is, if he knows she has been with Lexington Steele with his baseball bat endowment, hel feels, what's the use? he has no chance of being a sexual superstar-insecure to some, but understandable, no? women are like this too, even though they won't admit it. How many women say they don't want a male model? tons. That's because it takes the power away from them. They like feeling that they can do better than the man in the relationship, and he can't get better than her. They also feel threatened by other women vying for her man. So, she will take a less goodlooking man because it makes her more secure. Of course, they will choose that man for other more noble reasons, but I think what I just described exists for both sexes.

LAst, yes, men still also view more promiscuous women as more likely to cheat. So, that old thought is still in play too.

January 11, 2010

I really really really really just don't want to know.

UNLESS, she slept with someone I knew & she knew I knew him.

But, only so I can be prepared if someone mentions it to me.

Nothing like power-spitting a beer when someone mentions your GF is the same chick your cousin banged in the beer cooler at the bar he DJ'd at 15 yrs ago.

Also, I've had GF's that would tell me about all the past wild & crazy sex they had, then tell me they arn't like that anymore.

Well gee. i'm so glad you gave up giving BJ's at drive-in movies. Makes me want to go all the more.

Less distractions.

and that leaving the hiking trail for sex thing. Don't worry about that. i'm sure it wasn't really all that fun anyways.

January 11, 2010

Just wondering when you court a girl do you ask her how many men she's been with? I've never had a guy ask me that before.

I never ask. I disclose. Up to the lady if she wishes to or not. Everything has its relevance

January 11, 2010

Just wondering when you court a girl do you ask her how many men she's been with?

Yes.

I know women who have had a lot of partners and they still end up getting married and having a traditional life like everybody else. Maybe their partner didn't care or they lied about how many men they've been with.

I think that most men don't care. But there are some women who lie when asked, although I don't know how common that is.

January 11, 2010

i've seen a few posts where men look down on women who have had a lot of partners or into casual sex. Just wondering when you court a girl do you ask her how many men she's been with? I've never had a guy ask me that before.

I know women who have had a lot of partners and they still end up getting married and having a traditional life like everybody else. Maybe their partner didn't care or they lied about how many men they've been with.

I wouldn't ask, but I would be disgusted if I found out that a girl I was dating was promiscuous and had been with a lot of men. Most guys do think that promiscuous women are more likely to cheat on them or get bored with being with one man.

January 11, 2010

i kinda do...but i found out its better to just not know.

ignorance is bliss

January 11, 2010

I wouldn't ask, but I would be disgusted if I found out that a girl I was dating was promiscuous and had been with a lot of men. Most guys do think that promiscuous women are more likely to cheat on them or get bored with being with one man.

i met of these 'promiscuous' types and dated her for 7 years against my better judgement. i found out very early that she lied to me when we had the partner talk and it was rather high for a 19yr old girl...

she cheated.....

January 11, 2010

i kinda do...but i found out its better to just not know.

ignorance is bliss

Some guys really don't care.

IME, most do, no matter what they say.

Agree with stevejohnson1976.

January 11, 2010

i like girls with more experience...they know what they want and are better in bed

January 11, 2010

What's the old equation to get the true amount of partners?

Girls: Multiply the amount of guys they slept with by 2

Guys: Divide the amount of girls they slept with by 3

I don't think ANYTHING good can come out of asking someone this question.

January 11, 2010

I don't think ANYTHING good can come out of asking someone this question.

Agree completely with this. I never ask, and I no longer disclose this info if asked. I used to answer this question; had a bad experience and will never answer it again, honestly or otherwise.

I think that no matter what a guy says, and no matter how many or how few people you have slept with, he DOES care, and there is NO correct answer (though I do think the lower the number the better in a guy's mind).

January 11, 2010

It's a loaded question. I don't ask. Not because I'd feel insecure, but simply because I don't want to think "Dude, this girl has slept with 23 guys? Average penis length is 6"? And she's been having sex since 16? Now we're 27? So, she normally would have sex about once every other day for 11 years? That's 2008 sexual encounters, with the average penis length of 6" which equals 12,048" of penis in her lifetime, which breaks down to 1,004 feet of dick, and roughly a quarter of a mile of dick taking in her lifetime. I have to add to that?"

January 11, 2010

i've seen a few posts where men look down on women who have had a lot of partners or into casual sex. Just wondering when you court a girl do you ask her how many men she's been with? I've never had a guy ask me that before.

I know women who have had a lot of partners and they still end up getting married and having a traditional life like everybody else. Maybe their partner didn't care or they lied about how many men they've been with.

Yes, I do care.

January 11, 2010

I really really really really just don't want to know.

UNLESS, she slept with someone I knew & she knew I knew him.

But, only so I can be prepared if someone mentions it to me.

...

Also, I've had GF's that would tell me about all the past wild & crazy sex they had, then tell me they arn't like that anymore.
...

Exactly. Like, if we run in to somebody in a bar, or I mention somebody, a simple "Oh, that guy? We dated for a few weeks awhile back" will do.

What I really hate is when women who are all coy about it - like, they'll drop little hints without being asked here and there, apparently with the intent of making me jealous or something. Tell me the whole truth if must. If you can't do that, don't tell me anything at all.

January 11, 2010

I never know if it would be lieing if I don't mention two of the women I was with was at the same time.

January 11, 2010

I care. More than 5, and I consider it a red flag.

As for this being a double standard - yes, it is, and rightly so. Even the most handsome of men need to put some thought and effort into getting women. While women don't need to do anything - just say "yes".

If something requires skill, discipline and effort to achieve it - you get credit. If it doesn't - you don't (you're just showing lack of restraint).

Of course the skilled hunter who has to run and hide and wait to kill his dinner will get more credit than the fattie who's only accomplishment is being unable to say "no" to the extra hamburger, or any food that (literally - delivery) comes his or her way.

Not to mention that it is simply an urban legend that men who've slept around too much are considered "studs"; they get plenty of bad rap, from both sexes.

Edited January 11, 2010 by Sam Spade

January 11, 2010

I never know if it would be lieing if I don't mention two of the women I was with was at the same time.

I'm very ashamed of the time I boned a pair of 19-year-old Swedish identical twin sisters. It was a very dark period in my life.

January 11, 2010

I care. More than 5, and I consider it a red flag.
As for this being a double standard - yes, it is, and rightly so. Even the most handsome of men need to put some thought and effort into getting women. While women don't need to do anything - just say "yes".
If something requires skill, discipline and effort to achieve it - you get credit. If it doesn't - you don't (you're just showing lack of restraint).
Of course the skilled hunter who has to run and hide and wait to kill his dinner will get more credit than the fattie who's only accomplishment is being unable to say "no" to the extra hamburger, or any food that (literally - delivery) comes his or her way.

Not to mention that it is simply an urban legend that men who've slept around too much are considered "studs"; they get plenty of bad rap, from both sexes.

Yeah but how can you really know if the woman is truthful about sleeping with less than 5 men? She can just say she's been with 3 men just so you wont judge her

January 11, 2010

Yeah but how can you really know if the woman is truthful about sleeping with less than 5 men? She can just say she's been with 3 men just so you wont judge her

If she's dishonest then she isn't worth it. And there are ways. Many ways to tell if someone has only had a few partners as compared to many.

January 11, 2010

Yeah but how can you really know if the woman is truthful about sleeping with less than 5 men? She can just say she's been with 3 men just so you wont judge her

Sure, but it is usually possible to infer indirectly - at least approximately - by getting to know the details about her life. I'm not dead set on a particular "number" but rather on detecting a pattern of poor decisions and/or promiscuity proclivities.

January 11, 2010

If she's dishonest then she isn't worth it. And there are ways. Many ways to tell if someone has only had a few partners as compared to many.

and how is that??

January 11, 2010

It's a loaded question. I don't ask. Not because I'd feel insecure, but simply because I don't want to think "Dude, this girl has slept with 23 guys? Average penis length is 6"? And she's been having sex since 16? Now we're 27? So, she normally would have sex about once every other day for 11 years? That's 2008 sexual encounters, with the average penis length of 6" which equals 12,048" of penis in her lifetime, which breaks down to 1,004 feet of dick, and roughly a quarter of a mile of dick taking in her lifetime. I have to add to that?"

Geez, what kind of math class is this?

January 11, 2010

If she's dishonest then she isn't worth it. And there are ways. Many ways to tell if someone has only had a few partners as compared to many.

Like what??

I once dated a guy who insisted that I had to have a ton of experience with oral, because he thought I was too good. That assumption of his that he INSISTED on was completely wrong. I'd gone down on 2 guys, including him, EVER.

He also thought that because I wanted to try certain things with him, I must've had sex with more guys than I said I did, because I was too outgoing/adventurous (or something) .

The ironic part is that HE was a huge manwhore with tons of experience.

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Do you really care how many partners a woman has been with?

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