Hey nice guys/beta males, this guy gets women

[lino]

Guys in jail have never had problems getting girls. Everyone knows that!

Particularly those convicted of something with a lot of cred

[meerkat stew]

You don't need to come across as someone who can provide and provide and provide -- you just need to come across as a man with a plan who isn't going to leech.

 

Disagree with most all your posts in this thread, as they are merely repeating platitudes. The above is a complete falsehood though, that rises above the level of a mere platitude.

[silic0ntoad]

I also volunteer at our local animal shelter. My mom was the co-founder. It never would have opened without her. When I used to live 1,500 miles away, I googled my hometown name and "Humane Society," and her home address and phone number came up. Fortunately, they have their own location now due to her diligence. She is 81 and still involved. I also did volunteer work over the summer for the United Way and plan to do that every year. I take care of my grand daughter from Friday after work until Saturday evening so my daughter-in-law can attend college after work. I work full time and pay my taxes instead of sucking off society. I teach my children and grand children that you treat others as you would like to be treated. I treat people with less than I have to my home cooking and baking. I don't have much, but what I do have I share to the best of my ability.

 

Will any of that keep bad people from doing bad things? Nope.

 

 

Of course it won't. But if more people did these types of things, it would help alot of people. If it were "cool" to do this, I bet alot more people would be busy volunteering and off the streets selling death to kids or causing violent crimes. There's a difference here. I know the world is a sh*thole, have accepted that, and believe it can be changed through dilligence. You guys seem to understand the world is a sh*thole, all while doing your part, yet as long as everything is kosher in your small piece of it, everything is ok. Ignorance begets ignorance.

 

I think volunteering is a small piece of the pie, really. But doing something to help is always a good act. And, really, what good acts do you see on the news?

[betamanlet]

Disagree with most all your posts in this thread, as they are merely repeating platitudes. The above is a complete falsehood though, that rises above the level of a mere platitude.

 

 

Gotta agree, I've always made a LOT more money than the women I've dated, I've never been remotely close to being a leech, yet I'm the one always getting dumped. It's about the lack of drama/excitement I provide.

[silic0ntoad]

Gotta agree, I've always made a LOT more money than the women I've dated, I've never been remotely close to being a leech, yet I'm the one always getting dumped. It's about the lack of drama/excitement I provide.

 

I don't think it's drama. Maybe excitement. Be honest here. In your last serious R, what did YOU do to sustain and nurture it? Really?

[betamanlet]

Of course it won't. But if more people did these types of things, it would help alot of people. If it were "cool" to do this, I bet alot more people would be busy volunteering and off the streets selling death to kids or causing violent crimes. There's a difference here. I know the world is a sh*thole, have accepted that, and believe it can be changed through dilligence. You guys seem to understand the world is a sh*thole, all while doing your part, yet as long as everything is kosher in your small piece of it, everything is ok. Ignorance begets ignorance.

 

I think volunteering is a small piece of the pie, really. But doing something to help is always a good act. And, really, what good acts do you see on the news?

 

 

Perhaps your area has a chapter of single volunteers? www.singlevolunteers.org

 

I personally don't believe in volunteering to try to meet people, as I think the volunteering part is the most important part, and meeting someone should be secondary.. But I have gone to some of these and the people are nice, though the women tend to be much older then the guys there. Very few, young women attend these things. But the people who do tend to be good-hearted.

[donnamaybe]

Disagree with most all your posts in this thread, as they are merely repeating platitudes. The above is a complete falsehood though, that rises above the level of a mere platitude.

 

Nope. Sorry. What he said is certainly true for me AND my female friends. Of course we're not, as I said before, helpless airheads who have to rely on someone else to pay their way. Maybe those are the only females you come in contact with. The ones who want you for your wallet. That would explain your negative attitude.

[betamanlet]

I don't think it's drama. Maybe excitement. Be honest here. In your last serious R, what did YOU do to sustain and nurture it? Really?

 

 

If madelf posts here again, you could ask her. She lived 120 miles from me and I would drive up just to have dinner with her, or to see her just for the day.

 

I didn't provide drama because she was all I wanted, and there were no other women on earth. If I was less interested, it would have been more exciting for her.

[donnamaybe]

Guys in jail have never had problems getting girls. Everyone knows that!

Particularly those convicted of something with a lot of cred

 

But what quality of girls? Ish.

[betamanlet]

But what quality of girls? Ish.

 

 

While they are likely low quality women, with serious issues, there are more of them than there are women willing to date betamales.

 

And there have been some top female defense counsel who have fallen for their murderer clients.

[lino]

But what quality of girls? Ish.

 

Women of all types of quality.

[silic0ntoad]

If madelf posts here again, you could ask her. She lived 120 miles from me and I would drive up just to have dinner with her, or to see her just for the day.

 

I didn't provide drama because she was all I wanted, and there were no other women on earth. If I was less interested, it would have been more exciting for her.

 

I think I see something here. Part of your issue is not witholding some interest, and keeping some mystery. Being an open book doesn't always work in your favor, you know?

 

One other thing; you need to understand your part in the relationship. What YOU did wrong, and what SHE did wrong. But until you can see that you're going to continue the same trend. Stop looking at all the things you did for her, and using that to hold against her for leaving. The most important part, and the key to the Beta question, is what you WEREN'T providing for her. In order to fix that issue you have to take a hard look at it, and correct it for the future.

 

That could be the linch pin that holds this entire thing together.

[betamanlet]

I think I see something here. Part of your issue is not witholding some interest, and keeping some mystery. Being an open book doesn't always work in your favor, you know?

 

One other thing; you need to understand your part in the relationship. What YOU did wrong, and what SHE did wrong. But until you can see that you're going to continue the same trend. Stop looking at all the things you did for her, and using that to hold against her for leaving. The most important part, and the key to the Beta question, is what you WEREN'T providing for her. In order to fix that issue you have to take a hard look at it, and correct it for the future.

 

That could be the linch pin that holds this entire thing together.

 

 

I wasn't providing the drama and excitement she requires. However, I'm an adult, and really don't want or need to be be going skydiving, breaking and entering, etc to keep someone's interest level up. All throughout the relationship she talked of marriage and what a great boyfriend I was. Then blam, dumped.. I'm not a mindreader, you know.

[silic0ntoad]

I wasn't providing the drama and excitement she requires. However, I'm an adult, and really don't want or need to be be going skydiving, breaking and entering, etc to keep someone's interest level up. All throughout the relationship she talked of marriage and what a great boyfriend I was. Then blam, dumped.. I'm not a mindreader, you know.

 

Dude, you have to remove the veil from your eyes. Seriously. Stop with this whole "serial killers & black eyed bandits" ****e and look at the real world, bro.

 

Not every women thrives on excitement and drama. But you have to accept that some of them do. It's the way of things, just like some guys do.

 

But as you claim, you aren't an egotistical guy, right?

 

Well, you're not taking responsibility for your actions here. Your short comings. We all have them. OWN IT man. I am not saying you lied, or cheated, or whatever.

 

A girl can say whatever and you think she means it and five minutes later you're left alone. Sometimes, people DO things to people.

 

But in this case, your ego is in the way. I don't mean to come off as patronizing, but let's be real. You're ego is pissed because you THOUGHT you did everything right based on what she SAID. Now, you can't look at what you did and are continuing to do wrong, simply because you think that every girl should like a grovelling, snivelling nice guy who drives three hours just for dinner. OWN IT.

 

Like I've said in the past. If you can't change them, or the world, you have but two choices. Remain the same, and things stay the same. Change yourself, and... Voila, everything comes into a much better view now...

[betamanlet]

Dude, you have to remove the veil from your eyes. Seriously. Stop with this whole "serial killers & black eyed bandits" ****e and look at the real world, bro.

 

Not every women thrives on excitement and drama. But you have to accept that some of them do. It's the way of things, just like some guys do.

 

But as you claim, you aren't an egotistical guy, right?

 

Well, you're not taking responsibility for your actions here. Your short comings. We all have them. OWN IT man. I am not saying you lied, or cheated, or whatever.

 

A girl can say whatever and you think she means it and five minutes later you're left alone. Sometimes, people DO things to people.

 

But in this case, your ego is in the way. I don't mean to come off as patronizing, but let's be real. You're ego is pissed because you THOUGHT you did everything right based on what she SAID. Now, you can't look at what you did and are continuing to do wrong, simply because you think that every girl should like a grovelling, snivelling nice guy who drives three hours just for dinner. OWN IT.

 

Like I've said in the past. If you can't change them, or the world, you have but two choices. Remain the same, and things stay the same. Change yourself, and... Voila, everything comes into a much better view now...

 

 

How can I know what I did wrong, other than having treated her well? She never would tell me what I may have done wrong. Just said it's not working out, and bye.

[silic0ntoad]

How can I know what I did wrong, other than having treated her well? She never would tell me what I may have done wrong. Just said it's not working out, and bye.

 

Tracy did the same thing to me. Actually, she asked for a break and I told her to split, then she said she couldn't be with me when she felt like this, though she would never describe what she felt or why.

 

To make a long story short, I know now what I did wrong. I never nurtured the relationship at a certain point. Our sex life dwindled because of her endomitriosis, and while I struggled to remain understanding, it broke me. I gave up. I stopped taking her out. I was always there, at home, with her. I never made her feel valued, and neither did she for me. We both are at odds on that, and it sucks, even though I am over it now, it still sucks to realise that I had a hand in our downfall.

 

She had a chameleonic personality. She absorbed parts of me to fill voids in her life that led to us being entwined way too much way too early. We were totally immersed in our vision of love that we lost sight of each other. I stopped going to her parents for dinner, something she loved, simply because I couldn't bear to be with her when I felt she wasn't sexually attracted to me. She stopped hanging out with me and my friends, and would get irate when I would have a barbecue with everyone over.

 

My friends all said they didn't see it coming, but let's be real here. The signs are ALL there. We lost sight of each other, and let things rust and decay. It happens all too often. I took my part of the blame, and I am still finding small pieces of it here and there that I need to clean up.

 

It took me a long time to be able to look back and have the insight to understand that while I felt powerless, I wasn't. I had power enough to help demolish my last relationship as well as start it, and I will have the power to start another. I am still emotionally scarred because of the sex issue. It's something I am still dealing with internally. But in time I'll be fine.

 

You need to look back without the veil of supremacy you've constructed for yourself and realise you are human, and made mistakes. Stop placing it ALL on the women you approach and realise you have the power to change that vision they have of you.

 

But it's up to you, and for some odd reason, I feel that you'll simply revert to blackballing the entire women species for your short comings.

 

Sure, sometime, someone will come along that loves you for exactly who you are, right this second, and will do it unconditionally. But that's all just another fairy tale.

[donnamaybe]

While they are likely low quality women, with serious issues, there are more of them than there are women willing to date betamales.

 

And there have been some top female defense counsel who have fallen for their murderer clients.

 

Just because a gal is smart enough to pass the bar exam doesn't mean she's emotionally stable.

 

As for there being more of them, probably not. You just HEAR about them so you THINK there are more of them.

[Knittress]

Betamanlet - whatever your other qualities may be, I find your attitude of passive entitlement entirely offputting. I also suspect you're a troll.

[paddington bear]

How can I know what I did wrong, other than having treated her well? She never would tell me what I may have done wrong. Just said it's not working out, and bye.

 

Sometimes people just fall out of love. It appears that it happens out the blue for the person left, but often it's been a long build up of tiny little things that don't seem to matter, but add them all together and they do matter - and there's usually nothing you can do to change these things.

 

I've been on both sides of this equation asking why why whyyyyy did he leave me when I did nothing wrong, but then I dated a lovely guy and I just fell out of love with him I guess and even though I still thought he was a good guy and attractive my heart just wasn't there any more. One day this will happen to you too with a girl and you will understand.

 

As a side note, this guy was devastated that I broke it off with him and I felt so guilty. 2 years later I bumped into him and he said 'you know, I'm going out with a girl now and I really, really like her, but there's something missing and I want to break it off, but I feel bad about it because she's a nice person and I don't know what to do. Now I see where you were coming from with me'. Which was so nice of him to tell me, but also he had finally walked in my shoes and had seen that feelings and emotions aren't always so cut and dried.

[silic0ntoad]

Sometimes people just fall out of love. It appears that it happens out the blue for the person left, but often it's been a long build up of tiny little things that don't seem to matter, but add them all together and they do matter - and there's usually nothing you can do to change these things.

 

I've been on both sides of this equation asking why why whyyyyy did he leave me when I did nothing wrong, but then I dated a lovely guy and I just fell out of love with him I guess and even though I still thought he was a good guy and attractive my heart just wasn't there any more. One day this will happen to you too with a girl and you will understand.

 

As a side note, this guy was devastated that I broke it off with him and I felt so guilty. 2 years later I bumped into him and he said 'you know, I'm going out with a girl now and I really, really like her, but there's something missing and I want to break it off, but I feel bad about it because she's a nice person and I don't know what to do. Now I see where you were coming from with me'. Which was so nice of him to tell me, but also he had finally walked in my shoes and had seen that feelings and emotions aren't always so cut and dried.

 

I don't believe in falling out of love. Love is an action word, you love something, which describes a stance you have on it. Love is a choice. You fall in lust with someone, and you learn to love them, quirks, personality failures and all. It's your choice to continue loving them despite these things, and despite yourself.

[donnamaybe]

I don't believe in falling out of love. Love is an action word, you love something, which describes a stance you have on it. Love is a choice. You fall in lust with someone, and you learn to love them, quirks, personality failures and all. It's your choice to continue loving them despite these things, and despite yourself.

 

I loved my ex-H UNTIL he let his true self come "shining" through. One can only keep up a facade that elaborate for just so long.

 

Beta, I'm not saying that was your case, but people change, or if they are young, they don't truly KNOW who is best suited for them at the onset or even well into a relationship. Don't make this about something being "wrong" with you. Just move on. "Next!"

[carhill]

Don't make this about something being "wrong" with you. Just move on. "Next!"

 

IMO, that's good advice in general. Accept and proceed. Many potentials. Short life.

[meerkat stew]

What he said is certainly true for me AND my female friends. Of course we're not, as I said before, helpless airheads who have to rely on someone else to pay their way. Maybe those are the only females you come in contact with. The ones who want you for your wallet. That would explain your negative attitude.

 

Completely irrelevant. In the fat part of the bell curve, women seek more than just "not leeching" much more. They seek the "best" provider, and will readily upgrade for a wealthier man. Have seen this hundreds of times over 30 years of dating in all parts of the world, in every culture I've been exposed to.

 

My attitude is just fine, other ad hominem ignored.

[donnamaybe]

Completely irrelevant. In the fat part of the bell curve, women seek more than just "not leeching" much more. They seek the "best" provider, and will readily upgrade for a wealthier man.

 

Well, if you're satisfied dating the "fat part of the bell curve," i.e. the vast majority of gold diggers out there, more power to ya. I'm thinking most of the LS men would prefer a woman who wants him for HIM - not his wallet.

[torranceshipman]

So you have to be either a CEO or a criminal to get women? Criminals tend to be leader types. They take and do what they want, regardless of the rules. All I know is that I haven't had a gf in over 2 years, and this guy does, and he's abusive, and robs charities. Meanwhile, I donate to charities. I guess that's boring.

 

Seriously, what are you on about? Women want a good guy, but ypu prefer to cook up crazy stories to justify why you can't get a girl to date you. Newsflash...you can't get a girl because you alienate them with your really strange attitude.