donnamaybe Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 I think he probably comes across as a "stable" man in person, which is plenty sufficient for getting a woman. You don't need to come across as someone who can provide and provide and provide -- you just need to come across as a man with a plan who isn't going to leech. Yes, yes, and YES!!!
Taramere Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Unlikely as you would already be very attracted to him before he even opened up his mouth. Plus a 6'4 male model wouldn't be whining. He might be a whiner. I've encountered good looking, whiny men too. it's amazing how quickly you can lose the impression of them being good looking once they start. One of the problems with that self-pitying, guilt-tripping type is that the only emotion they invoke that's anything close to positive is the maternal empathy you'd feel for a hurt child. A child isn't sexually appealing. You might care about it, and you might be moved to comfort it when it's upset...but it's a dependent little creature rather than an equal. You certainly don't want it making sexual advances towards you. I don't think it's reasonable for a man to ask a woman to get past that mental block of not wanting to sleep with someone who's little more than a sad and angry child. It's a natural and healthy block to have. Women want grown men who have the communication skills to ask for what they want in a clear, direct manner...and to be prepared to negotiate over it. I realise that the men who whine on here claim not to do it in real life. I've no cause to doubt it, but on the other hand I think that if a person lacks the ability to communicate in the manner of a reasonable and rational adult online, then they probably lack the ability to do it in real life too. These guys don't tend to banter online with women in the manner that the regular guys on the forum do. It seems fair to presume that if they can't even do that in an environment where nobody can see them blush, shake or whatever else, they're not going to be able to do it with the flesh and blood women they meet in the outside world. Ideally, this would be a forum men like that would use to make baby steps in learning to have normal banter with women. I mean, I would have no problems with helping guys to do that...and I'm sure plenty of other women would be happy to do it too. It's nice to see someone develop their social confidence - even if only in an online message board environment. Certainly a lot better than getting into endless, tedious arguments with the kind of guy who's really not motivated to develop his skills with women, because he's too fond of a good old gripe.
donnamaybe Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Ideally, this would be a forum men like that would use to make baby steps in learning to have normal banter with women. I mean, I would have no problems with helping guys to do that...and I'm sure plenty of other women would be happy to do it too. It's nice to see someone develop their social confidence - even if only in an online message board environment. Certainly a lot better than getting into endless, tedious arguments with the kind of guy who's really not motivated to develop his skills with women, because he's too fond of a good old gripe. Good point! Verbal banter is a HUGE turn on for me! I'm good at it, and I love a guy, or a gal, who is good at it too. Maybe we should start a thread...
silic0ntoad Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 I still don't think morality is biased. A couple that is married and practices extramarital affairs by agreement are not mature enough to handle marriage readily, and should not be giving vows to someone while being rogered by someone else on the side. "Oh, hunny, have a good day! I am going to get schtooked after work by this hot guy I met at the pub last week. I won't be home for dinner!" "Ok hunny, I love you, I'll be out with the Asian girl I met. I'll make sure to wear a rubber this time!" Cut me a f*cking break. If anyone claims that to be a moral set up should simply disappear. From the now, the future, and all records of history and memory. It's exactly this horrid train of thought that gives people the idea that it's ok to sleep with other people and get rogered by someone else. Preposterous. Now, as far as attitude goes, I don't have a sh*tty attitude, personally. I know the world is a plague ridden s*ithole, and the sooner you clown "betamales" accept this, the better off you'll be. If you can't change the hellish world around you, then change the only constant. YOU.
PJKino Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 You may be the exception, but I'm sure most men on here can attest to this. In a social situation where you are trying to pick up women, 99.9% of the time if she rejects you, shes already done so before you have even gotten a chance to open up your mouth. If shes not attracted to you right away everything that comes out of your mouth from there-on goes through one ear and out the other. Exactly all this confidence bs,outlook on life is fluff talk,if women arent physically attracted to you having a great peronality will only get you in the friend zone..
grogster Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Good point! Verbal banter is a HUGE turn on for me! I'm good at it, and I love a guy, or a gal, who is good at it too. Maybe we should start a thread... A thread to develop bantering skills? Sounds peachy. Small talk rules. Over time, though, the thread will be jacked by guys complaining that women hate men and male banter. In my experience, one can either banter or not. It's a tough communication skill to learn.
donnamaybe Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Exactly all this confidence bs,outlook on life is fluff talk,if women arent physically attracted to you having a great peronality will only get you in the friend zone.. Don't listen to this tripe. It's not true. Not for me at least, and last I looked, I was a woman...
PJKino Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Don't listen to this tripe. It's not true. Not for me at least, and last I looked, I was a woman... Well you're the very small percent..And im not blaming women Men do it too,if you arent physically attracted to a person at all its impossible to give that person a chance Hell i dont think many women at all are attracted to me and i still cant be with somebody i cant envision at least making out with, id rather be laone..
donnamaybe Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Well you're the very small percent..And im not blaming women Men do it too,if you arent physically attracted to a person at all its impossible to give that person a chance Hell i dont think many women at all are attracted to me and i still cant be with somebody i cant envision at least making out with, id rather be laone.. But, really, I've been VERY turned on by a guy's charisma, and that has NOTHING to do with looks. Unless you're tantamount to Quasimodo, attitude and personality can REALLY turn me on!
Vertex Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 I still don't think morality is biased. A couple that is married and practices extramarital affairs by agreement are not mature enough to handle marriage readily, and should not be giving vows to someone while being rogered by someone else on the side. "Oh, hunny, have a good day! I am going to get schtooked after work by this hot guy I met at the pub last week. I won't be home for dinner!" "Ok hunny, I love you, I'll be out with the Asian girl I met. I'll make sure to wear a rubber this time!" Cut me a f*cking break. If anyone claims that to be a moral set up should simply disappear. From the now, the future, and all records of history and memory. It's exactly this horrid train of thought that gives people the idea that it's ok to sleep with other people and get rogered by someone else. Preposterous. Now, as far as attitude goes, I don't have a sh*tty attitude, personally. I know the world is a plague ridden s*ithole, and the sooner you clown "betamales" accept this, the better off you'll be. If you can't change the hellish world around you, then change the only constant. YOU. Are you aware of what the definition of morality is? It isn't a set-in-stone thing. It's PURELY defined as a human construct. It's completely biased. That being said, it doesn't mean breaking moral codes is acceptable. But you can't impose your idea of a "moral relationship" onto others. Not everyone agrees that "one man + one woman" is the only fundamentally-sound relationship. You could have relationships that involve multiple people if everyone is otherwise on the same page. People WITHIN a given relationship that have different views of what is moral, however, generate problems. You can't say "I don't have a ****ty attitude" and then IMMEDIATELY, in the very next sentence, say that the world is a "plague-ridden ****hole." That's only true for you if you choose to view it that way. There are many people, who otherwise possess flaws, who enjoy life and see the world as a great opportunity to meet others, learn, love, grow, etc.
PJKino Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 But, really, I've been VERY turned on by a guy's charisma, and that has NOTHING to do with looks. Unless you're tantamount to Quasimodo, attitude and personality can REALLY turn me on! AS i said youre in the minority,how many women do you know are like that?
donnamaybe Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 AS i said youre in the minority,how many women do you know are like that? What do you want? Quantity or quality? Women I hang out with are like that. I don't like ultra-superficial people as friends.
silic0ntoad Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Are you aware of what the definition of morality is? It isn't a set-in-stone thing. It's PURELY defined as a human construct. It's completely biased. That being said, it doesn't mean breaking moral codes is acceptable. But you can't impose your idea of a "moral relationship" onto others. Not everyone agrees that "one man + one woman" is the only fundamentally-sound relationship. You could have relationships that involve multiple people if everyone is otherwise on the same page. People WITHIN a given relationship that have different views of what is moral, however, generate problems. You can't say "I don't have a ****ty attitude" and then IMMEDIATELY, in the very next sentence, say that the world is a "plague-ridden ****hole." That's only true for you if you choose to view it that way. There are many people, who otherwise possess flaws, who enjoy life and see the world as a great opportunity to meet others, learn, love, grow, etc. I can, and did say the world is a plague-ridden sh*thole, and will gladly repeat that. People do dark and disastrous things. And if that's ok with some people, so be it. But they simply add to the problem. I enjoy my life. I meet interesting people every day. I talk to new people whenever the situation arises. I have travelled and seen some places alot of less fortunate people couldn't dream of going to. I wish we all had that same chance. But only in a world this bad could you sit there and claim this current version of our social planet to be a beautiful place full of enriching people and customs, when disease runs rampart, corporations control the lives of people not even attached to them, and politicians and other idollic figures are banging others outside of wedlock, thus setting the standard for todays' youth. Crime is rampant. You can't even visit parts of Rio De Janiero or Jamaica without escorts because you'd be mugged, raped, robbed and killed. In the streets of Detroit families are being snuffed out by the vices of CEO's and corporate leaders who's greed led them to destroy everyone involved but themselves. Look at the big picture. My attitude is fine. Because while I disagree with what is going on, I have accepted it for what it is; the inherent evil in man left unchecked and uncared for. (And no, I am not christian.)
PJKino Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 What do you want? Quantity or quality? Women I hang out with are like that. I don't like ultra-superficial people as friends. Well maybe i need to hang out with less superficial people becaude u have friends who love me but refuse to set me up probably becasue im not mr ideal
silic0ntoad Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Oh, and Vertex. Thanks for the discussion. It's actually stimulating to discuss/argue this with someone who isn't a moronic halfwit. Most dullards can't understand the scope of our argument from both ends. lolz.
donnamaybe Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Of course there are awful people doing awful things in this world. It's been that way since the dawn of man and will continue so. All we can do is make our little corner of the world right and try not to wallow in the misery brought on by dwelling on the negative.
silic0ntoad Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Of course there are awful people doing awful things in this world. It's been that way since the dawn of man and will continue so. All we can do is make our little corner of the world right and try not to wallow in the misery brought on by dwelling on the negative. That's part of the problem. Turning a blind eye. Typical, I guess. I am not saying people should raise up in arms. My point really is that once Betamanlet realises and ACCEPTS reality for what it is, he will be happier.
Vertex Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 That's part of the problem. Turning a blind eye. Typical, I guess. I am not saying people should raise up in arms. My point really is that once Betamanlet realises and ACCEPTS reality for what it is, he will be happier. It's not so much turning a blind eye -- we can fully accept that there are awful things on this planet. But do we want to look at the big picture and say "the world is awful"? There are great things to the world, and horrible things too. This doesn't mean we have to over-weight any one particular side, especially when it's a spectrum, and especially when we have no reason to involve ourselves in negativity when there are plenty of great things to enjoy about life. We can "accept" that reality may not be fair, or that not everything will be favorable. But you are in control of your life, who you interact with, how you see things, how you act, and so forth. You can either choose to let negativity drag you down, or you can be positive and say "I want to make my life a good one -- now, where's the best place to start?" Just because we don't want to express negativity when we don't need to doesn't mean we're turning a blind eye. It's just that there's no reason to be negative when there's so much positive, and clearly we'd rather be positive than negative.
donnamaybe Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 That's part of the problem. Turning a blind eye. Typical, I guess. I am not saying people should raise up in arms. My point really is that once Betamanlet realises and ACCEPTS reality for what it is, he will be happier. Turning a blind eye? WTF would you expect one person to do? Ride into battle against all of the evildoers in the world like some misguided Joan of Arc? I would think that teaching your children how to treat others and how to behave as well as shunning those who live their lives in an undesirable manner is all one person can do. Please keep in mind that one person's idea of "undesirable" may not necessarily be in keeping with another's. I have no problem, for example, with homosexuality. No one is being hurt by their behavior.
silic0ntoad Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Turning a blind eye? WTF would you expect one person to do? Ride into battle against all of the evildoers in the world like some misguided Joan of Arc? I would think that teaching your children how to treat others and how to behave as well as shunning those who live their lives in an undesirable manner is all one person can do. Please keep in mind that one person's idea of "undesirable" may not necessarily be in keeping with another's. I have no problem, for example, with homosexuality. No one is being hurt by their behavior. It only takes one person to change the world, hun. Adolf Hitler. Alfred Einstein. George W. Bush. Although prominent figures, it was the actions of each individual that changed the world, for a more negative perspective. But then you have the people who fight to do good. And no one appreciates that. The guy who volunteers at the soup kitchen is a "nice guy, but not my type" who will die alone caring for his sick mother. IDK, it's all hipocritcal. But I digress. Attitude is everything beta. I think the world sucks, and because of that, I am labelled as having a bad attitude. But if the people here ever chilled with me IRL, they would see how awesome I am to hang out with. Simply because I don't condone these people living in their fantasy world were everything is ok doesn't make me a miserable person. It makes me compassionately inhumane.
Crusoe Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 That's part of the problem. Turning a blind eye. Couldn't agree more.
donnamaybe Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 It only takes one person to change the world, hun. Well, if it's so easy, then quit turning a blind eye and change it. Let me know when you're done so I can quit wasting electricity by leaving my yard light on during the night.
silic0ntoad Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Well, if it's so easy, then quit turning a blind eye and change it. Let me know when you're done so I can quit wasting electricity by leaving my yard light on during the night. I am doing my part. I volunteer at a soup kitchen in NJ where I live. I also volunteer at the animal shelter in Northampton every weekend. I chose the animal shelter mainly because I feel that, as gifted beings capable of thought, it's sad to see people not able to provide the basics of life to the creatures that were here before us. I love animals. I chose the soup kitchen because homelessness is on the rise, and people need help. Not to be critical, but how about yourselves?
donnamaybe Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 I also volunteer at our local animal shelter. My mom was the co-founder. It never would have opened without her. When I used to live 1,500 miles away, I googled my hometown name and "Humane Society," and her home address and phone number came up. Fortunately, they have their own location now due to her diligence. She is 81 and still involved. I also did volunteer work over the summer for the United Way and plan to do that every year. I take care of my grand daughter from Friday after work until Saturday evening so my daughter-in-law can attend college after work. I work full time and pay my taxes instead of sucking off society. I teach my children and grand children that you treat others as you would like to be treated. I treat people with less than I have to my home cooking and baking. I don't have much, but what I do have I share to the best of my ability. Will any of that keep bad people from doing bad things? Nope.
edward-e Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 i dont volunteer at all for anything at all, but then again i have a g/f and no time for this stuff. meh, even if i did have time i wouldnt do it. <--- obviously thats the reason i have a g/f though.
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