Author betamanlet Posted January 11, 2010 Author Posted January 11, 2010 In some cases it would be the hot looking guy who acts like he's so much better than everyone else because he looks good and knows it. Or maybe he thinks he can find a "sugar momma" with his good looks, thus doesn't have to do anything to pull his own weight financially. And no. I don't look for a man because he has money just so I don't have to work. I like working. It gives me choices. Or maybe he's got an idea that women are inferior to men because they don't have a penis. Or maybe he thinks that only HIS opinions could POSSIBLY be the right ones. Or maybe he has very little empathy and only cares about himself. The list is endless. It's impossible to list all the ways a guy would appear to be a pathetic loser in my mind. None of those cover betamales. Betas are very modest.
Author betamanlet Posted January 11, 2010 Author Posted January 11, 2010 What is a betamale? A male who fails with women.
donnamaybe Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 None of those cover betamales. Betas are very modest. Then if you weren't such a whiner, I'd probably be happy dating a guy like you. BUT - I also don't like a guy who would let me walk all over him, were I the type to do so.
OpenGL Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Then if you weren't such a whiner, I'd probably be happy dating a guy like you. I don't whine in real life and likely neither does betamale. Why do we have so much trouble then?
Vertex Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t203485/ You conflate your own logic. Yes, not getting girls will give one a bad attitude, but a bad attitude will also stop you from getting girls. This doesn't mean a bad attitude will help your case, either way. Yes, some people will reject you before you even speak due to some physical attribute, for instance. But honestly, you have to let attributes speak for themselves. If you're in shape and have everything else going for you, it is clearly not your height that detracts (there are countless men around such heights that have plenty of luck with women). It's not a good idea to conclusively say that the fault lies in the preferences of women (many women have all sorts of preferences). Going from your general post histories and your quick-conclusion-jumping (e.g. "You'd be attracted to him before he even opened his mouth"), I can tell you right now that women aren't going to go for that type of mindset. If you come across as a bitter whiner with no inner confidence, you'll repel women. Simple as that. Take pride in inner attributes -- not outward ones. You seem very fixated on that (looks, money, status, etc), which may be part of the problem.
donnamaybe Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 I don't whine in real life and likely neither does betamale. Why do we have so much trouble then? I have no clue. I'd have to meet you in person and see what you're like in real life to take a stab at that question. Do you brush and floss? Take a shower regularly? Wear deoderant? Have a decent haircut (and I don't mean a high priced one)? Do you smile at people and act friendly? There are SOOOO many things that make a person someone I'd like to get to know - or not.
Vertex Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 None of those cover betamales. Betas are very modest. Well, there's a problem, there. All I ever see from these self-proclaimed "betas" is a lot of whining and forceful, bold impositions ("You all think this way / You all are attracted to this / You people are this or that") -- hardly modest. Modesty doesn't just mean "understanding that you aren't the best at something" or some relevant line. There needs to be an underlying connotation of respect, or the spirit of modesty loses its flavor and comes across the wrong way as a result of conflated logic.
donnamaybe Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 And then, aside from the outward appearance/hygiene things, it's always good to have a decent sense of humor and an ability to not take things too seriously. Some people, men AND women, can take a fun conversation and turn it quickly into a contest. THOSE people are to be avoided. I have a GF with a H like that. Can't stand him. He's so confrontational, and he argues EVERY LITTLE POINT. Ugh!
donnamaybe Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Well, there's a problem, there. All I ever see from these self-proclaimed "betas" is a lot of whining and forceful, bold impositions ("You all think this way / You all are attracted to this / You people are this or that") -- hardly modest. Modesty doesn't just mean "understanding that you aren't the best at something" or some relevant line. There needs to be an underlying connotation of respect, or the spirit of modesty loses its flavor and comes across the wrong way as a result of conflated logic. True. The attitude that's been displayed is far from one of modesty.
MissJoness Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 The bad guys are usually much more aggressive which is why they get the girls; and very adventerous and full of drama. Some women do like that, though. but that doesn't mean all women go after men like that.
OpenGL Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 I have no clue. I'd have to meet you in person and see what you're like in real life to take a stab at that question. Do you brush and floss? Take a shower regularly? Wear deoderant? Have a decent haircut (and I don't mean a high priced one)? Do you smile at people and act friendly? There are SOOOO many things that make a person someone I'd like to get to know - or not. I have really good hygiene, people always tell me I smell good and that I swear nice cologne. I have a very short hair, nearly shaved but I do let it grow out sometime. Yes I smile and people and am very friendly. But my problem is and never was making friends and getting people to like me/be friendly with me. Girls just aren't sexually attracted to me. And no I am not any kind of "nice guy", as I don't really have close female friends nor do I hang out with females 1:1, only with groups of friends.
MissJoness Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 (edited) I have really good hygiene, people always tell me I smell good and that I swear nice cologne. I have a very short hair, nearly shaved but I do let it grow out sometime. Yes I smile and people and am very friendly. But my problem is and never was making friends and getting people to like me/be friendly with me. Girls just aren't sexually attracted to me. And no I am not any kind of "nice guy", as I don't really have close female friends nor do I hang out with females 1:1, only with groups of friends. what type of job do you have? do you make a lot of money? Maybe you need to buy a expensive car to help you out a bit. Be a bit more flashy. Buy a nice Rolex or an expensive piece of jewlery. That may help. It's really no different than when women wear makeup, put in hair extensions and wear sexy clothing. It does help. Edited January 11, 2010 by MissJoness
donnamaybe Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 what type of job do you have? do you make a lot of money? Maybe you need to buy a expensive car to help you out a bit. Be a bit more flashy Only if you're interested in a gold digger, GL.
OpenGL Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 You conflate your own logic. Yes, not getting girls will give one a bad attitude, but a bad attitude will also stop you from getting girls. This doesn't mean a bad attitude will help your case, either way. Yes, some people will reject you before you even speak due to some physical attribute, for instance. But honestly, you have to let attributes speak for themselves. My point was I don't have my cause/effects mixed up and my logic is sound. I have a bad attitude towards women/dating, but that has nothing to do with why I don't get women because I didn't get women before the attitude either. So if I fix the attitude I am still back to not getting women. If you're in shape and have everything else going for you, it is clearly not your height that detracts (there are countless men around such heights that have plenty of luck with women). Really? Well I'd love to know what it is then. Yes men my height do get women, but 9 times out of 10 they REALLY lucked out and met the girl within their own social circle. They did not pick up these women off the streets. Plus these women often "settled" and will be gone the minute a better looking/taller man shows interest in them. It's not a good idea to conclusively say that the fault lies in the preferences of women (many women have all sorts of preferences). Going from your general post histories and your quick-conclusion-jumping (e.g. "You'd be attracted to him before he even opened his mouth"), I can tell you right now that women aren't going to go for that type of mindset. Looks/height is not a preference. In today's society women have made a social floor shaped by hollywood that I generally do not meet. Men have preferences, women have requirements.
Vertex Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 I have really good hygiene, people always tell me I smell good and that I swear nice cologne. I have a very short hair, nearly shaved but I do let it grow out sometime. Yes I smile and people and am very friendly. But my problem is and never was making friends and getting people to like me/be friendly with me. Girls just aren't sexually attracted to me. And no I am not any kind of "nice guy", as I don't really have close female friends nor do I hang out with females 1:1, only with groups of friends. Well, I mean what do you expect people to say? Online, all we know from you is that you're in shape, have a lot of things going well in your life otherwise, and yet have trouble attracting physical attention. We also know you're somewhat bitter on these boards. We can either go with: 1. It's "rightfully justified" to be bitter because you lack some attribute that's fundamentally desired or 2. There's not enough information being presented on the boards in order for us to make an accurate assessment of your problem We sorta need (2) to assess (1) a bit more properly, but even if (1) were true, being bitter will only ensure that the women who rejected you share the opinions of all other women, which is false. Bitterness definitely attaches itself to your attitude, whether or not you realize it. There will be days when I think I'm coming across as personable but it manifests itself as forced because I'm otherwise upset or not in the right mindset. But we, as posters here, can't count the number of "short males" who have luck getting women, so it's not logical for US to say "Well, yeah, women hate men who aren't over 6 feet tall" because it'd be a denial of empiricism at that point. The only real conclusion we can come to is that it's either your bitterness or it's something else about your personality/appearance/interactions that hinder your luck and progress (which may be hard to see if you're not on the outside).
MissJoness Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Only if you're interested in a gold digger, GL. Well, he'll just have to learn how to be able to separate the gold diggers from the non gold diggers. I'm not trying to be funny but if the way things are are not working than maybe you need to change things up a bit. It really may help if you upgrade your clothing, buy a better car, wear some jewelry or something that is eye catching. Women do it ALL the time by dressing sexy, wearing makeup, hair extensions, etc. Maybe you are just a bit too bland and need something that is going to catch a girl's eye; a better sense of style. Not every guy can be the "nice guy who gets the girls" some need more than just that.
OpenGL Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 what type of job do you have? do you make a lot of money? Maybe you need to buy a expensive car to help you out a bit. Be a bit more flashy. Buy a nice Rolex or an expensive piece of jewlery. That may help. It's really no different than when women wear makeup, put in hair extensions and wear sexy clothing. It does help. Exhibit A. But in all seriousness, I am not going to discloure my profession but I'll just say it's a technical professional and I make around ~80k. I have a expensive car/apartment/clothes but I generally do not go around flashing/bragging about my salary and possessions. Many girls I meet and reject me generally don't know anything about me.
Vertex Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 My point was I don't have my cause/effects mixed up and my logic is sound. I have a bad attitude towards women/dating, but that has nothing to do with why I don't get women because I didn't get women before the attitude either. So if I fix the attitude I am still back to not getting women. Again, having bad luck CAN cause bitterness, but bitterness will only keep you down. Besides, how can we really tell that you had a good attitude to begin with before these supposed "rejections" killed your self-confidence? How was your interaction style different? What kind of girls did you go after? Where did you go to meet them? Again, we need more information. Really? Well I'd love to know what it is then. Yes men my height do get women, but 9 times out of 10 they REALLY lucked out and met the girl within their own social circle. They did not pick up these women off the streets. Plus these women often "settled" and will be gone the minute a better looking/taller man shows interest in them. I mean, what do you want me to say to this? This isn't what I witness, and I think many, many more people would agree with me on this point. I don't think it's so much a function of luck. Plenty of people meet girls within their own social circles regardless of height, and I hardly think women feel they're "settling" with someone who isn't insanely tall necessarily, especially if they have a very magnetic set of attributes. Looks/height is not a preference. In today's society women have made a social floor shaped by hollywood that I generally do not meet. Men have preferences, women have requirements. I don't think most people compare their potential mates with Hollywood ideals -- probably a misjudged viewpoint on your behalf.
donnamaybe Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Well, he'll just have to learn how to be able to separate the gold diggers from the non gold diggers. I'm not trying to be funny but if the way things are are not working than maybe you need to change things up a bit. It really may help if you upgrade your clothing, buy a better car, wear some jewelry or something that is eye catching. Women do it ALL the time by dressing sexy, wearing makeup, hair extensions, etc. Maybe you are just a bit too bland and need something that is going to catch a girl's eye; a better sense of style. Not every guy can be the "nice guy who gets the girls" some need more than just that. Working on one's looks is a far cry from baiting women with an ostentatious display of wealth. One will get you looked at and perhaps an opportunity for conversation. The other will get you women who are looking for someone to pay their way.
Vertex Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Well, he'll just have to learn how to be able to separate the gold diggers from the non gold diggers. I'm not trying to be funny but if the way things are are not working than maybe you need to change things up a bit. It really may help if you upgrade your clothing, buy a better car, wear some jewelry or something that is eye catching. Women do it ALL the time by dressing sexy, wearing makeup, hair extensions, etc. Maybe you are just a bit too bland and need something that is going to catch a girl's eye; a better sense of style. Not every guy can be the "nice guy who gets the girls" some need more than just that. I agree that it helps to be interesting/stylish in order to show that you're not a bland person, but I don't think you need to be so flashy that you're oozing off faux-charisma from a Rolex or hyperexpensive-overcompensating car.
MissJoness Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Exhibit A. But in all seriousness, I am not going to discloure my profession but I'll just say it's a technical professional and I make around ~80k. I have a expensive car/apartment/clothes but I generally do not go around flashing/bragging about my salary and possessions. Many girls I meet and reject me generally don't know anything about me. That's why. You need to play that up a bit more to get women interested. Women want a man who can provide.
Vertex Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 That's why. You need to play that up a bit more to get women interested. Women want a man who can provide. I think he probably comes across as a "stable" man in person, which is plenty sufficient for getting a woman. You don't need to come across as someone who can provide and provide and provide -- you just need to come across as a man with a plan who isn't going to leech.
MissJoness Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 I think he probably comes across as a "stable" man in person, which is plenty sufficient for getting a woman. You don't need to come across as someone who can provide and provide and provide -- you just need to come across as a man with a plan who isn't going to leech. Well, if that is so sufficient then why isn't it working?
Vertex Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Well, if that is so sufficient then why isn't it working? If you saw his other post, he primarily focused on physical/material/status-related attributes and nothing of his personality. Focusing on these types of things are not going to help. You don't need ANY of those things to get a woman, so playing them up is not going to solve the problem (as I am sure it's probably abundantly clear in person that he's got a house/car/etc). Read my post up above to see my response to your question in general, however.
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