thslc Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Ok, I'm looking for a good female perspective on this. My girl and I have a pretty regular sexual relationship. 4-5 times per week, nothing too crazy or kinky. I would like to spice things up a little bit. I've suggested toys, role playing, or sneaking off into a public setting. She laughs most of these suggestions off like I'm kidding. I've suggested watching porn together, but she's not into it. Says its gross....etc. However, I know from the browsing history on our computer that she watches a healthy share of asian bondage porn. I was kinda floored when I found this out. Its all girls getting smacked, gagged on BJ's, tied to machines, double penetration, etc. I can't really figure it out. If this is what she fantasizes about, I'd expect to have a little of this manifest in the bedroom. Has anyone experienced something similar?
Bejita463 Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Fun to watch does not necessarily equal fun to do.
New_Life08 Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Bejita is right. I myself have an aversion to porn and would never seek it out. However, my niece who thinks she's being funny will send me clips of the nastiest porn she can find....just because she knows I will watch it and send her a message about how F'ed up it is. LOL. First of all...make sure she is the only one on that PC. It may not be her watching it at all. Also, you can receive this crap as spam just from visiting a site that has funny pics or whatever. Just be certain that she is actually seeking it out before you question her. She may be going through some curiosities she would never consider doing herself.
kiss_andmakeup Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 I like to watch some pretty hardcore stuff, somewhat akin to the variety you mentioned (maybe not quite as intense), but I'd never want to act it out in real life. It's just a visual stimuli. If you want to spice up your sex life, don't mention the porn, it'll probably just embarrass her. Women are raised with the idea that porn is for men and being "caught in the act" so to speak will probably be uncomfortable for her. Just tell her you feel your bedroom life really needs some variety and ask if she has any ideas. Don't take it to the next level and say, "but I found gangbang bondage porn on your computer!" Does it bother you that she views porn in her private time, or does it only bother you that she won't bring it into the bedroom?
Trojan John Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Alcohol is the solution to this, and most problems.
Yukikazi Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 just start with some light bedroom bondage.. tie her up with scarves and go from there.
harmfulsweetz Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Like everyone said, fun to watch, but doesn't necessarily mean she wants to do it. Although YukiKazi makes a good suggestion, ease her in slow, experiment with light bondage nothing too much.
Enema Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Don't ask her, just do it ya big pansy. She's probably a sub and expects to be dominated. Remember: No means yes.
Author thslc Posted January 13, 2010 Author Posted January 13, 2010 I just hadn't really given much thought to the 'watch but not into' philosophy. Which, while not my style, sounds reasonable. I'm not going to ask her about it, but i'm going to try a few bedroom techniques along those lines and see what happens.
DiscoChick Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 Alcohol is the solution to this, and most problems. You just made my day! On topic: I used to watch a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot of porn. Every kind I cam across. The weirder, the more interested I was. I do not, however, plan on ever doing any of those things. Like someone above said, "seeing and doing are two different things." I still love hentai, though. Nothing like a huge robot or alien doing a busty chick with bright red hair.
dazzle22 Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 A lot of people have a line between what they think is secretly erotic and what they want to do with a partner they love. Two different compartments..
make me believe Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 Don't ask her about the porn, you'll likely just embarrass her. If you're interested in trying these things with her bring it up in a light, neutral way. Make sure you're in a non-sexual setting, and initiate a conversation about your sex lives. If she laughs your suggestions off again, tell her that you REALLY are interested in trying some new things and want to know if she's open to your ideas. Don't let her treat it like a joke! (She's only doing that because she's uncomfortable talking about it. Maybe you could even suggest you each make a list of things you'd like to try and then exchange lists.) You can bring up the topic of bondage (I'd start lightly though) along with other ideas so that she doesn't realize you saw her porn and get embarrassed. But, yeah, there are a lot of things that people like to fantasize about that they don't want to do in real life... so don't read TOO much into what you found.
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