Kizzyfur Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 If you're satisfied being the OW or OM you need not read this. But if you are in a relationship with the hopes of the MM or MW leaving their spouse, get out now. Stay away until you see the divorce papers in hand. Don't even call. Move on. If y'all are already together there is no motivation for those papers to be signed and filed. I found out the hard way that even if the spouse of your MM or MW says they want a divorce, there is no guarantee that it will happen. I was seeing a MM for two years. I knew his wife personally. I had actually met her first and from the first day that I met her she always talked about how she planned to get a divorce. Right down to taking me along while she met up with an ex-boyfriend to make arrangements to get back with him. Well, I took her husband up on his advancements and she later found out. What can I say, he was very attractive and we had a lot in common. And I was very stupid. I not only lost a friend, her husband went back to her even after proposing to me. Which brings me to this question: Why are most women quick to forgive their spouse than the OW?
pureinheart Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 I think it's easier to turn the hatred and anger on the OW....I have seen BS's very symathetic to their H's, saying that he could not help himself and had he not been tempted the A would not have happened. I have seen where the H and the W side against the OW once the A has been found out....basically it's denial. There are so many reasons and so many different senerios of what goes on behind closed doors on both sides of the fence. I wonder how many are truely "intentional". A friend of mine always ended up with MM, and I always wondered why, although she was/is my friend and I love her for who she is and I am able to see beyond the outer... I would say that if the OW is tired of being the OW and wants more, then NC is the only option....the OW wins either way.
Author Kizzyfur Posted January 11, 2010 Author Posted January 11, 2010 I was just reading some of my old posts from '04. I can't believe how naive I was. I have to say I have learned from that experience. Then that's what mistakes are for.
greengoddess Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Omg you were never her friend. you lost a friend? Lol no friends don't screw friends husbands. You can justify it all you want that they were going to divorce, it doesn't make it right. Most friends would never ever consider going after a friends husband even after a divorce. You just don't go there.
herenow Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 If you're satisfied being the OW or OM you need not read this. But if you are in a relationship with the hopes of the MM or MW leaving their spouse, get out now. Stay away until you see the divorce papers in hand. Don't even call. Move on. If y'all are already together there is no motivation for those papers to be signed and filed. I found out the hard way that even if the spouse of your MM or MW says they want a divorce, there is no guarantee that it will happen. I was seeing a MM for two years. I knew his wife personally. I had actually met her first and from the first day that I met her she always talked about how she planned to get a divorce. Right down to taking me along while she met up with an ex-boyfriend to make arrangements to get back with him. Well, I took her husband up on his advancements and she later found out. What can I say, he was very attractive and we had a lot in common. And I was very stupid. I not only lost a friend, her husband went back to her even after proposing to me. Which brings me to this question: Why are most women quick to forgive their spouse than the OW? Well, I guess, in this case, her marriage was more important to her than your friendship. We all make decisions based on what is best for us as individuals. In many cases, the BW and OW are not friends, so your situation is a bit more complicated.
Author Kizzyfur Posted January 12, 2010 Author Posted January 12, 2010 Omg you were never her friend. you lost a friend? Lol no friends don't screw friends husbands. You can justify it all you want that they were going to divorce, it doesn't make it right. Most friends would never ever consider going after a friends husband even after a divorce. You just don't go there. That may be so, but this post isn't so much about me as a warning to all OW/OM who think they're going to get something more than a broken heart out of the situation. I just used my experience as an example to prove that no matter what is said by anyone, unless the divorce is final, don't believe anything.
bittersweet memories Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 If you're satisfied being the OW or OM you need not read this. But if you are in a relationship with the hopes of the MM or MW leaving their spouse, get out now. Stay away until you see the divorce papers in hand. Don't even call. Move on. If y'all are already together there is no motivation for those papers to be signed and filed. I found out the hard way that even if the spouse of your MM or MW says they want a divorce, there is no guarantee that it will happen. I was seeing a MM for two years. I knew his wife personally. I had actually met her first and from the first day that I met her she always talked about how she planned to get a divorce. Right down to taking me along while she met up with an ex-boyfriend to make arrangements to get back with him. Well, I took her husband up on his advancements and she later found out. What can I say, he was very attractive and we had a lot in common. And I was very stupid. I not only lost a friend, her husband went back to her even after proposing to me. Which brings me to this question: Why are most women quick to forgive their spouse than the OW? He proposed to you, while he was still married to YOUR friend. hehehe.... You live and learn.
Recommended Posts