Pizzaman81 Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 I feel that my patience in people sometimes is leading to passive aggressiveness. I am usually very outspoken, but when it comes to dates... being late, being rude, etc... I tend to keep it in, and deal with it. Then I find myself saying things that gets them back... Anyone here passive aggressive?
tami-chan Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 I can be passive-aggressive...ok...I AM...LOL.. my exBF used to call me out on it every single time I was being PA. So with him, I tried very hard not to be PA because there was no point, he knew and there was no denying it. Being PA is self defeating most times because it only works when the other person is mindful of you...otherwise, you are steaming alone and nobody really cares.
Author Pizzaman81 Posted January 11, 2010 Author Posted January 11, 2010 I can be passive-aggressive...ok...I AM...LOL.. my exBF used to call me out on it every single time I was being PA. So with him, I tried very hard not to be PA because there was no point, he knew and there was no denying it. Being PA is self defeating most times because it only works when the other person is mindful of you...otherwise, you are steaming alone and nobody really cares. It's a difficult thing to fix. My friend who's passive aggressive used to not say anything... bottle it up. One day I was over at his house, we fought about something stupid. He took out a hammer and started bashing his bed post. Where did that come from!? Do you think being passive aggressive = not being able to communicate well with others about your feelings?
tami-chan Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Do you think being passive aggressive = not being able to communicate well with others about your feelings? What do you mean?
SoulSearch_CO Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 I use to be far more PA. But have done my best to rein it in because I do feel it's a sign of immaturity. Do you think being passive aggressive = not being able to communicate well with others about your feelings? Yes. Perhaps being afraid of what their reaction may be to your feelings, worrying they may not validate what you have to say. So you hold onto the resentment and let them pay for it later with your comments. The thing is that when you do that you end up looking like the crazy one, because they won't make the connection. Never let women get away with bad behavior just because it's in the early dating stages. You can politely call them on it and they will respect you far more for it. Totally agree. I find calling people on their **** to be far more effective. If they don't know they did something wrong, how can they fix it in the future? I'm learning to just say something to the current guy I'm dating and he appreciates it. It helps to have a partner that actually cares what you have to say. And I'd say if you call someone on their crap and they get all pissy, then not only do they not respect your time/feelings (being late, flaky, etc), but they don't feel like being responsible for their own behavior. NEXT!
temple Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 No I don't feel a need to get them back. Why would I bother wasting my time doing that? If they're late and don't have a reason why, there's no second date. If they're rude, there's no second date. They're all cues suggesting he's not the one for me. That's final
Recommended Posts