wheream_i Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 yet he waits for me to leave to prepare himself a hearty breakfast... Lol. That's funny.
paleblue Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 this is an awesome post!!! i just had to hit the DUMP button this morning unfortunately. there were a number of red flags mentioned here that she exhibited almost immediately. and just like the OP said - i was willing to overlook these because i was excited about the possibilties. but guess what???/ ENNNTTTTTT...... NEXT. you just cant change people. the following applied to her: - You mention a legitimate need that may conflict with whatever they want -- and they either ignore it, take it personally, or try to convince you to change your mind. Anything other than almost immediate understanding should be a red flag. They demonstrate anger and/or rudeness (towards waitstaff, while driving, etc.) They say they will call you at time X on day Y and they don't. They don't respond promptly to your contact. They seem intermittently distant or not really listening when you talk. You feel the need to post a number on threads on LS asking if they are into you or not Distraction, lack of focus and lack of respect for my time and interest Robotic with an inability to feel or show deep emotion or any emotion Avoids conflict but is passive aggressive Pulls away from my kiss and then gets mad when I don't try it again id like to add - Non-compromising /not willing to meet you half way in general. Generally unavailable for weeks at a time. You are home every friday and saturday night not knowing what they are doing. They make time for others but not you. It a prude /non sexual.
soulm8 Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 - You mention a legitimate need that may conflict with whatever they want -- and they either ignore it, take it personally, or try to convince you to change your mind. Anything other than almost immediate understanding should be a red flag. - They demonstrate anger and/or rudeness (towards waitstaff, while driving, etc.) - They say they will call you at time X on day Y and they don't. - They don't respond promptly to your contact. - They seem intermittently distant or not really listening when you talk. - You feel the need to post a number on threads on LS asking if they are into you or not - Distraction, lack of focus and lack of respect for my time and interest - Robotic with an inability to feel or show deep emotion or any emotion - Avoids conflict but is passive aggressive - Pulls away from my kiss and then gets mad when I don't try it again - Non-compromising /not willing to meet you half way in general. - Generally unavailable for weeks at a time. - You are home every friday and saturday night not knowing what they are doing. - They make time for others but not you. - Is a prude/non sexual. I totally agree with all of your points, however responding to contact should be within a reasonable timeframe. It's not necessary to drop everything and respond even if you're in a relationship. You also need to have your own life - your SO can't be everything... making plans with your friends and doing your own thing is necessary.
paleblue Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 I totally agree with all of your points, however responding to contact should be within a reasonable timeframe. It's not necessary to drop everything and respond even if you're in a relationship. You also need to have your own life - your SO can't be everything... making plans with your friends and doing your own thing is necessary. i 100% agree about giving someone a reasonable timeframe to respond. ppl are super busy these days, so im not expecting immediate within 5 mins - but within an hour or two -even if its just to say , hey i am tied up i will get back to you .... i guess that seems reasonable to me. it gets really aggrivating when 8 hours, or a day, goes by and you hear nothing back. i guess promptly these days would mean to me a few hours.
soulm8 Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 i 100% agree about giving someone a reasonable timeframe to respond. ppl are super busy these days, so im not expecting immediate within 5 mins - but within an hour or two -even if its just to say , hey i am tied up i will get back to you .... i guess that seems reasonable to me. it gets really aggrivating when 8 hours, or a day, goes by and you hear nothing back. i guess promptly these days would mean to me a few hours. Even a few hours may be too high an expectation... you really need to give them the benefit of the doubt and gauge it on their response. 8 hours is kinda long but a day really makes one wonder how into the relationship the other person is... no one wants to be an after thought.
paleblue Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Even a few hours may be too high an expectation... you really need to give them the benefit of the doubt and gauge it on their response. 8 hours is kinda long but a day really makes one wonder how into the relationship the other person is... no one wants to be an after thought. so true. if i know someone is booked for the day, i have no issues, they get back to me when they can. but if i know they are not doing anything..... ya, no one wants to be an after thought. i have learned not to jump the gun, and at least give someone a chance to tell me what happened first, before i draw any conclusions. i would get jumpy when i was say, 22, but at 37, you learn that things can happen and ppl have legitimate reasons why they dont get back to you right away.
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