Leia Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Overly-sensitiveOverly-emotionalInconsistentWhiner I cannot stand those types! It drives me crazy when men are all of the above. I can't even say which one is worse.
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 getting nasty when they lose an argument
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 This is similar to what TBF mentioned about people who are overly sensitive. It's a dealbreaker for me if a guy is hyper attuned in a negative way to all of my minute gestures in his presence. Like I give him a look that doesn't mean anything and he says, "What does that mean?" Or I gently remove his hand from my body in bed because I can't sleep with somebody touching me, and he gets offended. All this suggests a guy who is insecure, clingy and controlling, possibly even abusive. I enjoy when a guy is in tune with my moods. As long as he keeps it to himself and doesn't ask me to explain every little gesture (that gets annoying). There is nothing more frustrating than complete self-absorption and lack of intuitivness.
sparkle Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 That is so true! Sad to say but you are exhibiting traits... sociopath Someone whose social behavior is extremely abnormal. Sociopaths are interested only in their personal needs and desires, without concern for the effects of their behavior on others. The sociopath also finds it hard to sustain relationships and shows a lack of regret in his or her actions. A major personality behavior trait is the violation of the rights of others. *Manipulative and Conning They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims. *Pathological Lying Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests. * Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.
DiscoChick Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 robotic with an inability to feel or show deep emotion or any emotion I think I have that problem. Affection just makes me feel awkward...off. I can/say/write what I want, but acting affectionate? I'd have an anxiety attack, so I avoid it. I suppose I'm one of those deal-breakers.
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 This doesn't make any sense. If this was true, then why would you be so hurt and upset about the ex who was into child porn? He could very well be on here arguing his point, and telling you he's also different, and in his world, he is similarly concerned with his own sense "right and wrong", and for him, perhaps child porn is obviously "right". You claim to be different and not fitting in a mold, but you, to a large degree, are still molded by society's views as well. Sparkle, We have moved on from that discussion a while ago. Please stay on topic. Thanks.
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 I think I have that problem. Affection just makes me feel awkward...off. I can/say/write what I want, but acting affectionate? I'd have an anxiety attack, so I avoid it. I suppose I'm one of those deal-breakers. DiscoChick, I think that different people will have different deal breakers. While it's possible to make a list of some universal deal breakers - personal preferences vary. Just because it's a deal breaker for me, doesn't mean it will be for the next person. So don't worry, you are what you are and somebody will love you for it
DiscoChick Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 DiscoChick, I think that different people will have different deal breakers. While it's possible to make a list of some universal deal breakers - personal preferences vary. Just because it's a deal breaker for me, doesn't mean it will be for the next person. So don't worry, you are what you are and somebody will love you for it Thank you! That is the most encouraging dating advice I have ever received. I'll carry your words with me forever.
New_Life08 Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 When it is time to pay the bill and they dig through their wallet furiously looking for a 10% off coupon. When they obviously don't brush their teeth. Talking about ex love interests all the time. When they take you to a party and leave you sitting most of the night with a bunch of people you don't know, while they are off socializing with their friends. When they treat you differently in private than they do in social settings with friends and co-workers.
threebyfate Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Worse yet, when they don't bother telling female "friends" of theirs, that you're in a relationship!
StalledGirl Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Lack of attention. I'm not overly needy but if someone can't be arsed to show interets in the early days , what hope is there for later on? Tells Tales. I never want to date a man who tells his mother/family EVERYTHING that happens between you. It's childish and a shows immaturity. Too serious. I have my serious times but a man who never laughs and takes life seriously all the time is just horrible.
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Bad breath or BO - that I have no tolerance for
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Also bad teeth. I like 'em white and straight.
counterman Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Talks way too much about some other guy,Brings up the topic of one of my friends randomly sometimes (without me even venturing near any such discussion),Rejects me when I ask her to be my date to a formal event and then asks me to ask her again when she changes her mind (instead of just asking me to be her date),Oh, and makes me feel guilty for asking her in the first place by telling me that the whole formal event isn't about you and me,Tells me off when I look at her straight for more than 3 seconds,Tells me off when I touch her in public (such as holding her hand, hug, etc.)Pulls away from my kiss and then gets mad when I don't try it again,Says I am suffocating her when I ask to hang out with her for the first time and gets angry when I don't contact her to suggest something to do,Waits to apologise to me on the phone or msn when she can do it in person,Lies about being only attracted to me and when someone comes along she full giggles and blushes,Cannot spend 10 minutes talking to me on the phone but can spend 5 hours talking on IM,Strings me along for a while, changes her mind about how she feels about me all of suddent (because she likes another guy), realises that the other guy likes another girl, than changes her mind again about me (stringing me along again), whilst telling me her reason for changing her mind was "insecurities" instead of the true reason,Calling me up with the intention of keeping herself from not being bored rather than really wanting to talk to me,Does not listen when I tell her a story and just goes onto what she has to say about something else,Does not try to make contact in person first after I've made contact for the billionth time,Letting other guys that like her (even guys with boyfriends) flirt with her and do creepy things and not telling them to respect our relationship and telling me not to do anything and not to get mad (she secretly enjoys the attention),Stubborn enough to not admit she is wrong or makes a mistake and apologise,Tries to stifle mistakes from the past and making the same mistakes again and again (because she didn't want to resolve them in the first place),Does not let me kiss her on the face because it my lips has oil and it'll cause acne and pimples and blackheads,Shows her affections really strongly when she feels it but when I feel it she says I'm coming on too strong,Looks around to see if anybody is watching or listening when I talk to her casually in public,Goes drinking with her mates rather than spend a night out with me (when she has never spent a night out with me before),Doesn't put thought into buying my birthday present but rather buys what's most convenient for her and when it comes to other guys, can spend up to days looking for the perfect gift for them,Telling me she knows what she wants when she doesn't,Says I don't love her anymore when I stop trying to hug her because she has rejected my attempts to hug so many times,It's okay for her to hug other guys, but when I hug a friend that is a girl (for consoling or something), she gets really mad,Does not answer calls or text when out with friends (even when she's home already),Backs up every other person that I might have a grudge against and talks me down,Thinks she deserves me completely with no effort,Try to tease her a little and she tells me off, but she can call me names,Flirts with other guys when we're on a trip together,Get's mad when I talk to another girl one- on-one,Does not acknowledge the hurt that she might have caused me and actually tries to blame me for being hurt,Get's furious when I hurt her and tells me off for doing so even though I apologise and offer no resistance to argue,Does not tell her friends that we're dating; her friends find out from me..MONTHS later,Seems reluctant in being my date to any event,Talks too much about the guy that use to like her and gets jealous when he finds himself a girlfriend,Enjoys the happiness of other relationships rather than ours,Cares too much of what others think,Tells me off for kissing her spontaneously in public,Talks to me a lot more on IM rather than in person (when she has more than enough opportunities to do so),Says she likes me but flirts with other guys. Reason being: we're not technically together,Agrees to see one of the guys that use to like her spontaneously but is not to warm when I want to meet up with her out of the blue,Says she's not going to give up on the relationship than gives up when things get tougher,Gets jealous when the guy she is really attracted to kisses another girl when she shouldn't even care anyways,Says I'm not funny in a serious and reprimanding tone when I try to use a bit of light humour to cheer her up,Says she misses me over the phone, and next time she sees me? Nothing. Blank face, doesn't even try to talk to me,Uses me as a scapegoat for her failure to focus on her studies when I was trying to be supportive and asking her to tell me what she wanted me to do in order to remain supportive (it is never her time spent watching tv, with her friends, distracted by the internet, etc.),Is not receptive of the idea of meeting my friends,Bitches about other chicks but when I say something bad about a guy, I have problems with my own sex,Never backs up her words with actions,Actions are so forced that she is actually suffering trying to put a little effort into being with me,Takes for granted the time I make for her,Talks about guys from books that she fantasises about and when I'm sweet, it's not good enough for her,Whilst she's with me, a friend calls her and asks her where she is and whether she can hang out. She lies and says "oh, I'm helping my mum.." instead of saying she's hanging out with her boyfriend,Tells me to take a different route to a place we're heading to because there's a slight chance we might bump into a guy that likes her and she doesn't want him to see herself and I together,Goes to play sport with this guy and when I talk to her later that night, says absolutely nothing about it. And when I ask? Just hesistantly says it was okay (instead of just admitting that she had fun) as though she's hiding something,Says it's weird when one of her friend hooks up with one of her guy friends that usually flirts with her,I agree, bad breath would have to be one,Anything that I'm not attracted to physically,A complete loud mouth, Okay, some are early deal breakers, and some aren't. Thanks for letting me vent a little! I feel heaps better!
New_Life08 Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Worse yet, when they don't bother telling female "friends" of theirs, that you're in a relationship! Absolutely! Believe me....I hear ya!
New_Life08 Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 I think farting was mentioned, my bf got me conditioned to this early on! He held nothing back...at first I wondered if he was trying to get rid of me. Guys is it true you are not at all embarrassed to fart in front of your date? Have you dated a woman who just let it rip? I am talking about early on in dating. I'm not sure it is a deal-breaker, but is this a turn-off for anyone whatsoever?
New_Life08 Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Talks way too much about some other guy,Brings up the topic of one of my friends randomly sometimes (without me even venturing near any such discussion),Rejects me when I ask her to be my date to a formal event and then asks me to ask her again when she changes her mind (instead of just asking me to be her date),Oh, and makes me feel guilty for asking her in the first place by telling me that the whole formal event isn't about you and me,Tells me off when I look at her straight for more than 3 seconds,Tells me off when I touch her in public (such as holding her hand, hug, etc.)Pulls away from my kiss and then gets mad when I don't try it again,Says I am suffocating her when I ask to hang out with her for the first time and gets angry when I don't contact her to suggest something to do,Waits to apologise to me on the phone or msn when she can do it in person,Lies about being only attracted to me and when someone comes along she full giggles and blushes,Cannot spend 10 minutes talking to me on the phone but can spend 5 hours talking on IM,Strings me along for a while, changes her mind about how she feels about me all of suddent (because she likes another guy), realises that the other guy likes another girl, than changes her mind again about me (stringing me along again), whilst telling me her reason for changing her mind was "insecurities" instead of the true reason,Calling me up with the intention of keeping herself from not being bored rather than really wanting to talk to me,Does not listen when I tell her a story and just goes onto what she has to say about something else,Does not try to make contact in person first after I've made contact for the billionth time,Letting other guys that like her (even guys with boyfriends) flirt with her and do creepy things and not telling them to respect our relationship and telling me not to do anything and not to get mad (she secretly enjoys the attention),Stubborn enough to not admit she is wrong or makes a mistake and apologise,Tries to stifle mistakes from the past and making the same mistakes again and again (because she didn't want to resolve them in the first place),Does not let me kiss her on the face because it my lips has oil and it'll cause acne and pimples and blackheads,Shows her affections really strongly when she feels it but when I feel it she says I'm coming on too strong,Looks around to see if anybody is watching or listening when I talk to her casually in public,Goes drinking with her mates rather than spend a night out with me (when she has never spent a night out with me before),Doesn't put thought into buying my birthday present but rather buys what's most convenient for her and when it comes to other guys, can spend up to days looking for the perfect gift for them,Telling me she knows what she wants when she doesn't,Says I don't love her anymore when I stop trying to hug her because she has rejected my attempts to hug so many times,It's okay for her to hug other guys, but when I hug a friend that is a girl (for consoling or something), she gets really mad,Does not answer calls or text when out with friends (even when she's home already),Backs up every other person that I might have a grudge against and talks me down,Thinks she deserves me completely with no effort,Try to tease her a little and she tells me off, but she can call me names,Flirts with other guys when we're on a trip together,Get's mad when I talk to another girl one- on-one,Does not acknowledge the hurt that she might have caused me and actually tries to blame me for being hurt,Get's furious when I hurt her and tells me off for doing so even though I apologise and offer no resistance to argue,Does not tell her friends that we're dating; her friends find out from me..MONTHS later,Seems reluctant in being my date to any event,Talks too much about the guy that use to like her and gets jealous when he finds himself a girlfriend,Enjoys the happiness of other relationships rather than ours,Cares too much of what others think,Tells me off for kissing her spontaneously in public,Talks to me a lot more on IM rather than in person (when she has more than enough opportunities to do so),Says she likes me but flirts with other guys. Reason being: we're not technically together,Agrees to see one of the guys that use to like her spontaneously but is not to warm when I want to meet up with her out of the blue,Says she's not going to give up on the relationship than gives up when things get tougher,Gets jealous when the guy she is really attracted to kisses another girl when she shouldn't even care anyways,Says I'm not funny in a serious and reprimanding tone when I try to use a bit of light humour to cheer her up,Says she misses me over the phone, and next time she sees me? Nothing. Blank face, doesn't even try to talk to me,Uses me as a scapegoat for her failure to focus on her studies when I was trying to be supportive and asking her to tell me what she wanted me to do in order to remain supportive (it is never her time spent watching tv, with her friends, distracted by the internet, etc.),Is not receptive of the idea of meeting my friends,Bitches about other chicks but when I say something bad about a guy, I have problems with my own sex,Never backs up her words with actions,Actions are so forced that she is actually suffering trying to put a little effort into being with me,Takes for granted the time I make for her,Talks about guys from books that she fantasises about and when I'm sweet, it's not good enough for her,Whilst she's with me, a friend calls her and asks her where she is and whether she can hang out. She lies and says "oh, I'm helping my mum.." instead of saying she's hanging out with her boyfriend,Tells me to take a different route to a place we're heading to because there's a slight chance we might bump into a guy that likes her and she doesn't want him to see herself and I together,Goes to play sport with this guy and when I talk to her later that night, says absolutely nothing about it. And when I ask? Just hesistantly says it was okay (instead of just admitting that she had fun) as though she's hiding something,Says it's weird when one of her friend hooks up with one of her guy friends that usually flirts with her,I agree, bad breath would have to be one,Anything that I'm not attracted to physically,A complete loud mouth, Okay, some are early deal breakers, and some aren't. Thanks for letting me vent a little! I feel heaps better! Wow! I think I'd move on if I were you...
carhill Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Guys is it true you are not at all embarrassed to fart in front of your date? Have you dated a woman who just let it rip? I am talking about early on in dating. I never farted in front of my wife (stbx); to me it's along the same lines as not liking her taking a dump in front of me or with the bathroom door open. It's a matter of decorum. She, OTOH, floated the sheets routinely. 'Digestive issues' she described it as. I guess
O'Malley Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 I'm not sure it is a deal-breaker, but is this a turn-off for anyone whatsoever? Deliberately belching/farting or leaving the bathroom door open is a dealbreaker for me. Perhaps I've been fortunate that I haven't had to deal with that from SO's. There's something to be said for leaving a little mystery in a relationship and leaving out the dutch ovens.
Left in a Lurch Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Says she's really busy when you ask her out and she'll have to see if she can get a sitter, all after she finishes telling you all the fun things she somehow had time for the week before.Suggests a lunch date.Claims she doesn't check voicemail messages.Claims she lost her phone.Claims your voicemail message by some act of God never came through.Doesn't answer your call and lets it go to voicemail in the first place. (Try calling right away from your home number or another number she doesn't know and watch her pick up and claim she just missed your first call.)
Pleco Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Deliberately belching/farting or leaving the bathroom door open is a dealbreaker for me. Perhaps I've been fortunate that I haven't had to deal with that from SO's. There's something to be said for leaving a little mystery in a relationship and leaving out the dutch ovens. In a new relationship, sure. But even in a LTR?
Sam Spade Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 There are varying degrees of rigtness. I think that most people will agree that cheating is worse than this. nope, most people wouldn't agree. both are hideous violations of trust.
bananaboat11 Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 If she ****s you on the first date... and the second... and third... I shouldve ended it there. Not relationship material
Ilovehim Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 flaws: *comments on other girl's looks *talks about an ex (unless we're talking about our past, i don't find a need for you to bring up a random story that you just remembered..it's annoying) *knows you're upset over something and makes little to no effort to comfort you *is not jealous at all *is way too jealous *is dirty (pees on toilet, doesn't clean after himself) *is lazy ALL THE TIME *is not emotioanl at all/doesnt really open up about feelings *is way too emotional and sensitive/even the slightest of jokes hurt his feelings *lacks self-esteem so thinks that by sleeping with lots of girls makes him a "man" (HUGE turn off..guys like these are pathetic and very insecure) *feels the need to play games to seem "not desperate" (just be yourself, nothing compares to being real and open about who you truly are) *is very superficial (cares too much about looks, works out 24/7-->working out is sexy but some guys OVER DO IT...unless you're completely out of shape then there is no need to LIVE at the gym) *not appreciative of the cute little things you do i could think of more but i think that's enough..here are some things that i find a turn on *has a good heart, is loyal and committed to you...is open about his feelings and cares about yours *a man who is mature (someone who wont argue over everything and who will talk to me and solve conflicts in a calm, understanding manner) *is educated, has a good job (this shows he's productive, not lazy and cares about himself and his future) *is attractive (sorry, this is important to me...the physical attraction has to there, not being shallow just speaking the truth) *good kisser!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *has a high sexual drive (freak in the sheets in important too) *appreciative/romantic/spontaneous *someone who wants to enjoy life and lives to be happy...someone who doesnt thrive on drama and conflicts *someone who is your best friend and who gives you that feeling like nothing and noone in the world exists everytime you look into his eyes LOL very long but very true!
carhill Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Deliberately belching/farting or leaving the bathroom door open is a dealbreaker for me. Perhaps I've been fortunate that I haven't had to deal with that from SO's. There's something to be said for leaving a little mystery in a relationship and leaving out the dutch ovens. ....... In a new relationship, sure. But even in a LTR? If your father took a dump with the bathroom door open and farted in front of yourself and your mother, you're good to go. Toot away. Realistically, it's just another sign of compatibility, albeit a minor one. Remember the rancor about the man 'leaving the toilet seat up'? Classic.
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