Woggle Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 It's especially effective when having an innocent, girly look (or "I barely know what a computer is" expression) and saying "Hey sexy can I just check my e-mail for a sec" while twirling your hair. So you play dumb for men as well? No offense but I see why you have issues with dating. All the men you want are going to run for the hills.
meerkat stew Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Most people do things that are not right on everyday basis. Utlimately, I have to decide what feels right to me... Hopefully you will remember this when a BF uses it on you to justify his cheating.
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 So you play dumb for men as well? No offense but I see why you have issues with dating. All the men you want are going to run for the hills. Oh woogle, that's just the tip of an ice-berg. We all have issues of varying degrees
Woggle Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Oh woogle, that's just the tip of an ice-berg. We all have issues of varying degrees We all have issues but whatever works for you.
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Hopefully you will remember this when a BF uses it on you to justify his cheating. There are varying degrees of rigtness. I think that most people will agree that cheating is worse than this.
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 We all have issues but whatever works for you. I only resorted to this because things WEREN'T working out for me before. I was naive and trusting once too.
dreamergrl Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 I only resorted to this because things WEREN'T working out for me before. I was naive and trusting once too. Heck I have trust issues but I would not do anything of that sort.
alphamale Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 You've been dating someone for a month and... 1) she doesn't mention that she has a dick
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 So do posting habits, apparently. If you're going to judge someone based on their browsing habits, you obviously have a lot to learn about people. I don't know what's worse, what you're doing or the casual way in which you're discussing it. Frankly, I think I'd rather stay a lifelong bachelor if my only alternative was dating someone who did stuff like this. You're lucky you're a woman. If a guy did this, he'd probably catch about 10 times more flak. You don't call what I have been getting on this site flak? I have said many times before that I do not have a cookie cutter personality therefore I am not looking for a guy that has one either. If a guy did this to me because he has trust issues, I would find it endearing. On my personal weighted system of flaws, this is nearly at the bottom of my list. We all have different "weights" for different "offenses". Mine are just duifferent to yours.
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 You've been dating someone for a month and... 1) she doesn't mention that she has a dick Sigh alpha. Yes, that's really at the same level
pandagirl Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Actually no, but I would be fine with him looking through my browsing history as I have nothing to hide. It is SO not equvivalent to planting a bug or a hidden camera. I'm not trying to judge here as you went through a horrible ordeal with your ex and child porn (disgusting), but it's sort of funny that this is a thread about red flags, and your actions would certainly qualify as a 'red flag' for most everyone. Insecurity/trust issues = red flag.
meerkat stew Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 You've been dating someone for a month and... 1) she doesn't mention that she has a dick Oh yeah, or when they tell you they have a prehensile tail, it's just mounted on the front. I'll never fall for -that- one again.
carolinawanderer Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 You don't call what I have been getting on this site flak? I have said many times before that I do not have a cookie cutter personality therefore I am not looking for a guy that has one either. If a guy did this to me because he has trust issues, I would find it endearing. On my personal weighted system of flaws, this is nearly at the bottom of my list. We all have different "weights" for different "offenses". Mine are just duifferent to yours. It is flak, and you deserve it. You would find that kind of behavior "endearing?" Really? You'd like the feeling of having your every move watched by your partner? That last sentence shows that you know what you're doing is wrong. I could use the same reasoning, as someone above me said, to justify murder or any other atrocity. Maybe you wouldn't care if someone did it to you, but that is no justification for doing it to another person. If your ideal match is someone who also wouldn't care, you're very likely looking at a very long, if not endless, search for a partner. What exactly are you (not) hoping to find? Child porn? 99.9 percent of men are not into that stuff. I understand your concerns but what you are doing is just plain wrong. I have trust issues as well and even I can see that.
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Yes panda, I am well aware that most people would perceive this as a red flag. I am not even attempting to date or find anyone at present. In my perfect world I would meet a guy who is patient and kind and likes me enough that he is willing to help me work through this initial stage and help me emotionally heal. In my perfect world I would meet a guy to whom I will be able to speak openly about my past and about all of this. I am well aware that I am dreaming though.
Chubbi Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Sad & Confused, I don't see what the big problem is. If anyone wanted to look through my history, they could jusk ask and I'd show them myself. If they did it behind my back, well, I wouldn't know or care quite frankly. In fact, I would even answer any questions they have about my viewing history. When I was younger, I allowed my friends to read my diary and they kept it because they thought it was so entertaining and well-written. When their house caught on fire, my old diary was lost. Actually, I read it to them. I am just very open and honest. My deal breakers are: 1.) If the guy has mental/physical health problems 2.) If the guy has been convicted of a felony 3.) If the guy makes fun of people
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Now I have ruined Shadowplay's thread. That is kind of wrong too.
dreamergrl Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 SadAndConfused... if you don't see anything wrong with it, why aren't you open about it with the guys?
Bejita463 Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 My personal favorite when dating a new guy is asking him to check my e-mail on his computer. Then I slip in a USB and secretly copy his IE or Firefox history file. Noone ever found out so it was a non-issue. Most people do things that are not right on everyday basis. Utlimately, I have to decide what feels right to me... This follows a very familiar line of reasoning. It is on the tip of my tongue, but I can't quite place my finger on it. Who else is it, that betrays someone's trust because they feel entitled to do so, who also think their actions are excusable merely due to the fact that they were not caught? Just sayin'.
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 SadAndConfused... if you don't see anything wrong with it, why aren't you open about it with the guys? Because I am aware that other people's preceptions are different than mine. I am aware what most people think is "right" and "wrong". I am just different.
dreamergrl Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Because I am aware that other people's preceptions are different than mine. I am aware what most people think is "right" and "wrong". I am just different. So what entitles you to do something like that?
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 This follows a very familiar line of reasoning. It is on the tip of my tongue, but I can't quite place my finger on it. Who else is it, that betrays someone's trust because they feel entitled to do so, who also think their actions are excusable merely due to the fact that they were not caught? Just sayin'. I do feel that you guys are over-reacting.
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 So what entitles you to do something like that? An instinctive desire to protect myself from future hurt.
tigereyes1428 Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 it is not a non issue - who the hell gives you the right to STEAL someones browsing history - everyone is entitles to their privacy - your not ready to date again - you need to come to terms with your ex who was into kiddy porn and stop punishing every guy who asks you out. you cant go through life trying to 2nd guess everyones moves because you got hurt. sing like no one is listening, dance like no one is watching and love like you have never been hurt..
dreamergrl Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 I do feel that you guys are over-reacting. You are snooping on someone's computer, you don't tell them, you don't feel guilt, and you have to justify it. And we are over reacting?
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 it is not a non issue - who the hell gives you the right to STEAL someones browsing history - everyone is entitles to their privacy - your not ready to date again - you need to come to terms with your ex who was into kiddy porn and stop punishing every guy who asks you out. you cant go through life trying to 2nd guess everyones moves because you got hurt. sing like no one is listening, dance like no one is watching and love like you have never been hurt.. Easier said than done.
Recommended Posts