How to Break Up with Live-In Boyfriend?

[L.A.M.B.]

Lately my boyfriend has been staying stuff like, "You know you're stuck with me forever," and "I guess I'm stuck with you forever." It's really creeping me out and I don't feel like that's normal to say and he's saying it because he doesn't ever want me to break up with him. He is 30 years old, but can sometimes have the maturity of a 10 year old. I try to communicate with him and tell him that when he acts immature it really stresses me out. I can't be stressed out because it makes me have small seizures and messes up my brain. He actually made fun of me when I told him that. What is the best way to break up with him without putting myself in harm's way? He can have a really bad temper. I was thinking move all of his stuff out of the house when he's not home and leave it outside and have some friends with me at the house to make sure I am safe when he comes home, but I also need to find a way to get his key back. I should change the locks too, but I don't have an extra $200 to spend to change them. I am also scared because my parents live down the street and I don't want him to do anything to hurt them. I'm just want to know what my options are because the last time I had a crazy, abusive boyfriend I broke up with him and he started stalking me and scaring my family. I tried to get a restraining order, but the cops said unless he actually did something first there was nothing they could do. I think my boyfriend this time is even worse and I'm afraid of what he might do when I break up with him.

[hoping2heal]

Lately my boyfriend has been staying stuff like, "You know you're stuck with me forever," and "I guess I'm stuck with you forever." It's really creeping me out and I don't feel like that's normal to say and he's saying it because he doesn't ever want me to break up with him. He is 30 years old, but can sometimes have the maturity of a 10 year old. I try to communicate with him and tell him that when he acts immature it really stresses me out. I can't be stressed out because it makes me have small seizures and messes up my brain. He actually made fun of me when I told him that. What is the best way to break up with him without putting myself in harm's way? He can have a really bad temper. I was thinking move all of his stuff out of the house when he's not home and leave it outside and have some friends with me at the house to make sure I am safe when he comes home, but I also need to find a way to get his key back. I should change the locks too, but I don't have an extra $200 to spend to change them. I am also scared because my parents live down the street and I don't want him to do anything to hurt them. I'm just want to know what my options are because the last time I had a crazy, abusive boyfriend I broke up with him and he started stalking me and scaring my family. I tried to get a restraining order, but the cops said unless he actually did something first there was nothing they could do. I think my boyfriend this time is even worse and I'm afraid of what he might do when I break up with him.

 

I'm not quite sure how to be useful here. I'm not sure that you're being honest exactly. Stalking, threats, harassing are all things that will get you a valid restraining order. They do not just say "Well, we're going to wait until your tires or slashed or your face is pounded in and THEN decide to act." No, prevention is better than a cure for all parties involved and it can be equally distressing to be harassed, threatened, or stalked.

 

Why did you have a "Crazy, abusive" boyfriend in the past that did such horrible things, and then go find yourself another one?

 

I'm not sure what to think right now.

[Angel1111]

He sounds like a complete idiot - making fun of you about your seizures. Good grief. If he's that immature at 30, it'll be a long time before he grows up - if he ever does. Yes, you need to break up with him and, hon, don't ever let a guy move into your house again unless you're married to him. And don't marry a guy unless you're certain about his character.

 

Just break up with him like most people do - sit him down, let him know that the relationship isn't working out and that you would like for him to move out. If you think things might get bad, have a friend or two at the house when you talk to him. See to it that he leaves that day and let him know that he can get his things at another time (if that's necessary). Get chain locks for the outer doors in case he made a duplicate key (which he probably did). I think you can buy new door hardware at Home Depot for way less the $200. I'm sure someone can help you with installing it.

[DenverBachelor]

I definitely can be of some use here since I had a restraining order placed against me from my ex.

 

You don't need to go to the police to get a restraining order. You can go down to your nearest courthouse and file the paperwork. Basically the bar for a restraining order is non-existent (a temporary one). You can do what my ex did and just lie and say I was stalking, trying to break into her apartment and otherwise twist old facts around to paint the other person black. The judge rubber-stamps it and then you pay to get him served. You can not serve him yourself (for obvious reasons).

 

In two weeks, you'll go to court to have a hearing to figure out whether to drop the order, extend it to 120 days (or whatever your state's long-term temporary time is) or make it permanent.

 

If he violates the restraining order, that is considered contempt of court and he will be fined and/or jailed.

 

Generally the bar for a legitimate restraining order is that you feel in immediate physical danger and/or you feel your life is at risk. That's now been lowered apparently to just about anything you want to write down.