Lucky555 Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 So i have been told to write this guy off. I am still keeping my options open. However, i do like him and have for awhile. BUT, we had a date a week and half ago. We were going to keep seeing each other and i told him i would wait for im to contact me if he wanted to something. Well, i have had no text, email, or phone call. How many days would u give a guy that u like?
Angel1111 Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Unfortunately, it's not about whether you like him or not. It's about whether he likes you or not. If you haven't heard from him by now, you probably won't. He may contact you again but I wouldn't get too excited about it if he does. You need to decide if you want to continue pursuing something with someone who's so unenthusiastic about being with you.
Author Lucky555 Posted January 11, 2010 Author Posted January 11, 2010 he talked to me tonight..i played it cool and he seemed eager to contact me and made future plans. I'm going to do my own thing and see what happens in the meanwhile. I didn't like he did not contact me after almost a week and i know this. Even if i like him..I'm not getting my hopes up.
Angel1111 Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Did he even offer an explanation as to why you haven't heard from him for so long?
Author Lucky555 Posted January 11, 2010 Author Posted January 11, 2010 I'm not going to ask him why he didnt contact me. I am going to let things be now. if he is interested he will pursue, i think i was too available to him. I think now I will just do other things and if something happens it does and if not then i will probably be going on other dates.
TheLoneSock Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 i told him i would wait for im to contact me if he wanted to something. If a girl told me that, I would write her off. It shows a complete lack of initiative. All of my longest/happiest relationships have been with girls who did their share of communication. Even in the beginning stages of the relationship. It is, after all, a partnership - regardless of what people say about the whole 'pursuit' thing.
Angel1111 Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 I'm not going to ask him why he didnt contact me. I am going to let things be now. if he is interested he will pursue, i think i was too available to him. I think now I will just do other things and if something happens it does and if not then i will probably be going on other dates. I don't think you should ask him. I was wondering if he offered an explanation.
Angel1111 Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 If a girl told me that, I would write her off. It shows a complete lack of initiative. All of my longest/happiest relationships have been with girls who did their share of communication. Even in the beginning stages of the relationship. It is, after all, a partnership - regardless of what people say about the whole 'pursuit' thing. 99% of the time, this is simply not true. Most men are usually turned off if they feel that a woman is pursuing them.
Chicago_Guy Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 So i have been told to write this guy off. I am still keeping my options open. However, i do like him and have for awhile. BUT, we had a date a week and half ago. We were going to keep seeing each other and i told him i would wait for im to contact me if he wanted to something. Well, i have had no text, email, or phone call. How many days would u give a guy that u like? A guy who really likes you isn't going to wait six days to contact you unless he thinks you are playing games or aren't really that interested in him. If you've been letting him know that you like him and haven't given him reason to think that you're dating other guys, then he probably is not that interested in you if he waited that long to get back to you.
Chicago_Guy Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 99% of the time, this is simply not true. Most men are usually turned off if they feel that a woman is pursuing them. You are totally wrong. Men don't like it when women they don't like pursue them, just like women don't like it when guys they don't like pursue them. However, I think that most guys do like it when girls they like pursue them to a certain extent. I think that a lot of men think dating is very frustrating when a woman doesn't seem to be putting forth much effort.
phineas Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Every time a woman has pursued me it has turned into her clawing at my zipper by the end of the 2nd or 3rd date. I'm sorry but unless i'm not attracted to her, i rather enjoy a woman pursueing. Too many games out there.
Author Lucky555 Posted January 11, 2010 Author Posted January 11, 2010 i have found guys that pursue really quickly are the needy ones. They usually don't have much going for them from my experience. This guy is different from the rest of the guys i have dated. 2 days after the date we were in contact. However, i didn't hear from him 6 days after that until last night. He didn't make plans to go out this week because I have plans for later in the week. It would be difficult to make plans with this guy since he works everyday. I do know he has some weekends off though. Otherwise, if he doesn't make a weekend plan for next week I will presume he is not interested in dating me and i will have to cut him off because i know he will contact me.
TheLoneSock Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 99% of the time, this is simply not true. Most men are usually turned off if they feel that a woman is pursuing them. First of all, I'd like a statistic to back that up. Second of all, there is a difference between the woman doing the pursuing, and the woman doing her fair share of communication effort. Don't confuse the two. Thirdly, most men I would say would appreciate the effort. Women are tactful, surely they could figure out a way to show interest through communication initiation without overdoing it and coming off as desperate. Show me a group of men that will tell you they dislike it when a woman puts in that effort. The idea is ridiculous. A real relationship is and always will be a partnership. Not a cheetah vs. rabbit marathon.
Patrice Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 How about this one ... we've been out about 6 times ... he has a son and joint custody. I haven't verbally spoken to him since last Tuesday .. he tried to call me on Thursday but I was out exercising .. I tried to call him back twice - no call back. I know he is having financial difficulties - and the son on weekends. We live at least an hour apart ... I ended up texting him on Saturday morning ... "Are you alive"? Nothing .. called Saturday night - left a message .. I'm not sure what is going on, but if you want me to disappear I will" Last I spoke to him, I told him I needed better communication - that lasted 3 days .. then silence. He told me he really cares about me and I about him .. last we spoke. Should I move on?
Patrice Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Oh, also noticed .. because of his financial straits .. he has no internet access .. but, he went to the library near his home on Saturday and never e-mailed .. I thought perhaps, he lost his cell .. now, I'm thinking something else is going on.
Angel1111 Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 First of all, I'd like a statistic to back that up. Second of all, there is a difference between the woman doing the pursuing, and the woman doing her fair share of communication effort. Don't confuse the two. Thirdly, most men I would say would appreciate the effort. Women are tactful, surely they could figure out a way to show interest through communication initiation without overdoing it and coming off as desperate. Show me a group of men that will tell you they dislike it when a woman puts in that effort. The idea is ridiculous. A real relationship is and always will be a partnership. Not a cheetah vs. rabbit marathon. Yeah, you're right that effort shouldn't be confused with pursuit. But where pursuit is concerned, or women being too aggressive, I've read a LOT of books on this topic and I've seen it happen over and over where men get turned off because a woman is too forward. But, yes, there should be give and take in communication. I agree.
Angel1111 Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 How about this one ... we've been out about 6 times ... he has a son and joint custody. I haven't verbally spoken to him since last Tuesday .. he tried to call me on Thursday but I was out exercising .. I tried to call him back twice - no call back. I know he is having financial difficulties - and the son on weekends. We live at least an hour apart ... I ended up texting him on Saturday morning ... "Are you alive"? Nothing .. called Saturday night - left a message .. I'm not sure what is going on, but if you want me to disappear I will" Last I spoke to him, I told him I needed better communication - that lasted 3 days .. then silence. He told me he really cares about me and I about him .. last we spoke. Should I move on? I would move on. It doesn't take a lot of effort to call or text someone. Sounds like he was with someone else.
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