baloo2 Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 Hello again. OK. Here goes. The guy am seeing has been driving me crazy recently (I've posted about him for another issue recently). He had me completely convinced that he's not interested since we met up and slept together that day. He has cancelled our dates three times, two of which were for legitimate reasons. In the meantime his behaviour has been extremely inconsistent, one minute telling me he's falling for me, he loves spending time with me, he thinks about me a lot, to saying how he's worried I'll break his heart, to simply acting distantly and apparently not caring whatsoever or even snapping (see previous thread). Anyway, last night he just found out he must leave for abroad for his work early next week for a month.So he promised to come visit this morning and stay one or two nights before he leaves. Anyway, I wake up this morning and ask him when he's coming, phone him and I get absolutely nothing. I resign myself to the fact that this guy is really not interested, because he's sending all the signals. Then at 4pm finally today he messages me and tells me he is sorry for being so terrible to me....and that he has been behaving and cancelling on me because he is afraid of his feelings for me. He's afraid of what he will do when he realises that I am that special person. He says he really really likes me and is worried about that fact. He now promises to see me after he comes back from our trip, and although doesn't expect it, has asked me not to date anyone else in the interim. I am just so confused by this man's actions. I thought he was dumping me, but am I expected to believe his lack of visiting is down to fear and fear alone? I am afraid of holding out six weeks and then the same thing happens when he returns, so in the intermin period I have asked that there is no emotional game playing and he corresponds with me at least once a day. I am proceeding with caution. Thoughts anyone ? I am so confused!
thegreatmoose Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 Many posters reccomended you break up with him in the other thread. How much do you want to get hurt? His actions are ridiculous. Break up with him as soon as possible.
Weirdo Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 From what you've written it sounds like he has crazy mad control issues and/or likes a fuss being made over him. If it were me in your shoes, as hard as it would be, I would try my hardest to stop giving him that attention. If he really is as crazy for you as he says he is he wont be able to stay away, but if he is just enjoying the attention (as I suspect he may be) then you will be better off for not having fed it to him.
SoulSearch_CO Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 COMMITMENTPHOBE. I'd run like hell. Tell him to take his issues somewhere else. It's not your job to fix him.
meerkat stew Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Dollars to donuts there's another woman in the picture, you are the back-burner. You don't deserve this treatment and should terminate with this guy.
skydiveaddict Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Hello again. Thoughts anyone ? I am so confused! Yea i have a few thoughts. I fell hard and fast for a girl, then she dumped me. It's REALLY hard to get over that. He's being cautious cause he doesnt want to go through that again, that's my guess anyway. If you like this guy, give him time. if not move on.
tami-chan Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 ugh...not one of those...what a turn off ! Bail out... unless you want to spend the rest of your life assuring him you are not going to leave? or meerkat stew is right, there is another woman..either way, cut him loose.
skydiveaddict Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 (edited) ugh...not one of those...what a turn off ! Bail out... unless you want to spend the rest of your life assuring him you are not going to leave? or meerkat stew is right, there is another woman..either way, cut him loose. hey tami, i bet she's better off dating a "dead guy" yo? pretty easy to cut those strings if things don't work after all, with a dead guy you can prop him up beside a dumpster & leave him there. you wont have any guilt cause he wont know the difference any. Oh SH.t! here comes the trash truck! Edited January 11, 2010 by skydiveaddict
Ruby Slippers Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Dump him immediately. He sounds like nothing but (bad) trouble.
meerkat stew Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 hey tami, i bet she's better off dating a "dead guy" yo? pretty easy to cut those strings if things don't work after all, with a dead guy you can prop him up beside a dumpster & leave him there. you wont have any guilt cause he wont know the difference any. Oh SH.t! here comes the trash truck! :lmao: This is funny enough on its own, but is there a history here? Did I miss the "pros and cons of dating the dead" thread? :lmao:
Woggle Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Chances are you will betray him the minute he starts trusting you so he has good reason to be afraid.
shadowplay Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 There's no excuse for his behavior. Even if it's because he's afraid of getting hurt, the important point is that he only thinks of himself and doesn't care the effect his behavior has on you. He's selfish and flaky. End it.
tami-chan Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 hey tami, i bet she's better off dating a "dead guy" yo? pretty easy to cut those strings if things don't work after all, with a dead guy you can prop him up beside a dumpster & leave him there. you wont have any guilt cause he wont know the difference any. Oh SH.t! here comes the trash truck! Oh sky...LOL ..you trying to get rid of your dead boring date? hurry, you don't want to wait for the next trash day! But back to the OP, I don't know what her type is, sky...but let's see if she will consider your suggestion
Woggle Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 There's no excuse for his behavior. Even if it's because he's afraid of getting hurt, the important point is that he only thinks of himself and doesn't care the effect his behavior has on you. He's selfish and flaky. End it. Since when do women ever care about the effect they have on a man?
meerkat stew Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Wanted to add that when someone offers the excuse for bad or inconsistent behavior that they are afraid of their feelings for you, run.
tami-chan Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 :lmao: This is funny enough on its own, but is there a history here? Did I miss the "pros and cons of dating the dead" thread? :lmao: Here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t216804/ see post #15.
meerkat stew Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t216804/ see post #15. Hilarious, made my day! That's what keeps us coming back to places like this :lmao: Good one, skydiver!
Pink Cupcakes Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 This guy just wants available booty when he returns. He doesn't care about you one bit. He's got the lines down. If he really cared, he would have done anything to see you before he left. the "I'm afraid I might care too much" is a line for "I'm just not that into you. I'll lie to you in order to string you along so I can have sex with you and you are at my beck and call for sex, even though I will frame it as a real "date" when i am just using you for sex. I will disappear for days, weeks....then you'll get a text explaining my fear of commitment and please help me get through it by meeting me tonight....which is code for a booty call so he can use you for sex....lather, rinse, repeat....
Author baloo2 Posted January 11, 2010 Author Posted January 11, 2010 Do you really think so? If that was the case, surely he'd have been round for sex. He hasn't yet. If he is not interested, he may as well tell me so, because he isn't even getting sex from me.. he's never here! It doesn't seem like he cares, and I told him that yesterday. I don't know...he said he thought that I was the one when we met that time. I think he is just VERY mixed up.. This guy just wants available booty when he returns. He doesn't care about you one bit. He's got the lines down. If he really cared, he would have done anything to see you before he left. the "I'm afraid I might care too much" is a line for "I'm just not that into you. I'll lie to you in order to string you along so I can have sex with you and you are at my beck and call for sex, even though I will frame it as a real "date" when i am just using you for sex. I will disappear for days, weeks....then you'll get a text explaining my fear of commitment and please help me get through it by meeting me tonight....which is code for a booty call so he can use you for sex....lather, rinse, repeat....
Author baloo2 Posted January 11, 2010 Author Posted January 11, 2010 Yes but essentially this man is scared of what can be deemed as a second date! He is convincing me he has strong strong feelings for me, but his actions show otherwise. So confused. Of course I like him, and, where I was not thinking a lot about him before, he's got me thinking of him 24/7! Yea i have a few thoughts. I fell hard and fast for a girl, then she dumped me. It's REALLY hard to get over that. He's being cautious cause he doesnt want to go through that again, that's my guess anyway. If you like this guy, give him time. if not move on.
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