PinkToes Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 People who are 'taken' are easy to flirt with; no strings attached. Both genders do this. When someone is single, you've got to worry about what the other person might be thinking about your behavior, so it's more complicated to show any sort of interest. A guy who is attached is of no interest to me, romantically. I won't compete with someone else for a man, single or not. That whole "pick me, please pick me" mentality of dating shows drives me nuts!
thegreatmoose Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 it all boils down to drama That's only true for those who are least mature. I wouldn't want to date anyone like that anyway.
betamanlet Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 That's only true for those who are least mature. I wouldn't want to date anyone like that anyway. I know, and that's perfectly logicaly, but the problem is, most women require that drama. There are not enough women that don't require drama for the men who don't do drama. That means you get to be alone.
Woggle Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 For sure. Married men are at the top of the dating food chain.
BobSacamento Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Very interesting. I think this theory has long been touted as truth. I think the only way to truly find out is to test it. Perhaps develop a fake girlfriend. I mean there are starving actors out there right? Or would those be considered escorts? Maybe just developing a fake Facebook girlfriend would be interesting. I love social experiments haha
Skump Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Hey, the phenomenon makes sense: If a guy already has a woman, it probably means that a gal took time to get to know him and decided he was worth having. Thus, from a completely cold and calculating (and slightly sociopathic?) perspective, going after guys who already have girls could be efficient, since those other girls have already "done the work" to select a sub-population of superior mates. Ain't economics grand!?
threebyfate Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Oh for sure, many times! but I am staying in the confines of the topic of this thread. Also, the job of criticizing men has no openings...fully staffed:p with many on the waiting list for the job.! I'm kind of like not wanting to start a distracting "race" war, so I am commenting only on my own gender and the topic at hand...Plus I really do feel very strongly that women will turn on each other much faster when a man is at stake, rather than the other way round. Just an opinion:)It's interesting to see how you defend men but are willing to knife other women without any balancing comments. Is it that you're unwilling to start a gender war or is it that you're no better than the women who you have problems with aka turn on women? Food for thought...sistah. Anyways, the entire phenomenon of finding someone who's previously committed more attractive, IMO, leans towards a combination of ego validation from low self-esteem and crotch-thinking. In some cases, mix in substance abuse and/or diagnosed/undiagnosed Cluster-B disorders and you have the recipe for disaster.
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 That is how it is with my bf. He didn't attract women at all, and then we start dating, his confidence shot up, he was happy, outgoing, etc. and completely comfortable talking to anyone because he was no longer 'trying' with anyone else. Now women flirt with him all the time! I think part of it is the way a 'happily taken' guy carries himself.
alphamale Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 I think part of it is the way a 'happily taken' guy carries himself. no, its more cause women are treating him as more desirable
CaliGuy Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Yes, you are correct. It is the perception of "confidence" that makes the guy more attractive who already has a mate. It's also the "Well if he has a g/f then there must be something other people find valuable about him" factor as well. Last but not least, men who have girlfriends are less likely to act "creepy" and stare women down. If you've learned anything about people in general it's that "If she's hot and you're not oogling all over her, then you must also be of worth as well."
samspade Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Hi, Guys, Do you find that when you have a girlfriend that you suddenly seem more attractive to other girls? I know with myself this seems to happen. My theory on why this seems to be so is part of it is increased confidence in myself which makes me more attractive and the other part is due to some girls are competitive and want what another girls got. What are your views on this? Girls input also welcome on this. Part of it is increased confidence. The other part is that women see a girl on your arms and think that you must be worth having if someone has you already. That's why you always here women say, "All the good ones are taken." A lot of women are like children in this sense - they want what another girl has. This is why social proof is such an important part of game. Being seen with some arm candy, platonic or romantic, will garner you more attention than being alone or with other men.
Author Castillo Posted January 11, 2010 Author Posted January 11, 2010 Part of it is increased confidence. The other part is that women see a girl on your arms and think that you must be worth having if someone has you already. That's why you always here women say, "All the good ones are taken." A lot of women are like children in this sense - they want what another girl has. This is why social proof is such an important part of game. Being seen with some arm candy, platonic or romantic, will garner you more attention than being alone or with other men. Do you feel that this makes you more likely to cheat - remembering the dry spells and now need to make hay while the sun shines?
PJKino Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Part of it is increased confidence. The other part is that women see a girl on your arms and think that you must be worth having if someone has you already. That's why you always here women say, "All the good ones are taken." A lot of women are like children in this sense - they want what another girl has. This is why social proof is such an important part of game. Being seen with some arm candy, platonic or romantic, will garner you more attention than being alone or with other men. WHy do u think social proof is much more important to women then Men?
bayouboi Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Hah! This is absolutely true! While I was with my last g/f and she stopped fulfilling my needs, I started noticing the blatant flirting from multiple sources. Being a decent guy, I ended the relationship before I decided to try out some of these other interested ladies. Now that I'm single, none of these ladies are anywhere to be found lol.
Author Castillo Posted January 11, 2010 Author Posted January 11, 2010 (edited) Hah! This is absolutely true! While I was with my last g/f and she stopped fulfilling my needs, I started noticing the blatant flirting from multiple sources. Being a decent guy, I ended the relationship before I decided to try out some of these other interested ladies. Now that I'm single, none of these ladies are anywhere to be found lol. I was with a married woman (married a guy 35 yrs older than her) and she introduced me to her female friends. If it already sounds complicated now it gets so complicated it's good enough for Jerry Springer One of her friends was seeing a married guy and she would flirt outrageously with me in front of my married woman. When I broke up with the married woman, I became a FWB to her friend:p The married woman was NOT happy with this! My new FWB then arranged to see her married man in a 5* hotel he'd booked. However, the married man had to leave unexpectedly almost as soon as they arrived. My FWB gave me a call and ask if I'd spend the night with in the 5* hotel - it was all pre-paid on his credit card. I f*cked the brains out of the married mans mistress in a 5* hotel he'd paid for along with room service, champaigne and smoked salmon sandwiches. I never got to thank the married guy for such a wild night:D:D:D Do you now see what I mean in my earlier post about a nice guy losing a few principles? I won't hurt innocent people, but the guilty.... Edited January 11, 2010 by Castillo
phineas Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 when I got engaged just about every woman that wanted to "just be friends" wouldn't leave me alone when the news circulated. When the ring went on, they left me alone.
dazzle22 Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 It's interesting to see how you defend men but are willing to knife other women without any balancing comments. Is it that you're unwilling to start a gender war or is it that you're no better than the women who you have problems with aka turn on women? Food for thought...sistah. Anyways, the entire phenomenon of finding someone who's previously committed more attractive, IMO, leans towards a combination of ego validation from low self-esteem and crotch-thinking. In some cases, mix in substance abuse and/or diagnosed/undiagnosed Cluster-B disorders and you have the recipe for disaster. Well, several things: -I personally think making comments about things I have noted about my own sex that I don't like do not constitute KNIFING or TURNING on them. For example, If I tell a European that I don't like how some Americans behave overseas that give us a rep as "ugly americans", I don't think that is TURNING/KNIFING. Knifing your country would be espionage selling secrets to the enemy.... here is an example of KNIFING and TURNING: my best friend since age 16 and my maid of honor trying to get my first husband to cheat with her....now THAT is knifing...and I have seen it more times from that direction than the other way round, many more times. Now, on the other hand, I think that women are better multitaskers and managers and there is research to prove that, and women generally are great at listening, and so on, but it is not germaine to this thread. Also, I really don't want to go at it with you. We post on similar threads and I like what you say in general, so I would like to not do this.
monkey00 Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 This is why social proof is such an important part of game. Being seen with some arm candy, platonic or romantic, will garner you more attention than being alone or with other men. I strongly agree with this. I find it especially important for single male guys to have platonic female friends, it aids in attracting the opposite sex. Just simply having female friends alone shows that you're able to get along with women on some level. I have male friends who don't or have never had female friends in their life, they are the shy type and have had the hardest time with females (romantically and platonically) throughout their adulthood.
meerkat stew Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Oh, yeah, this is why I'm a big fan of blowup dolls. When you tell women you have a GF, they get more attracted despite having no idea your GF is actually shrivelled down and crammed back in the closet somewhere. If they ask about your relationship, you can say everything is good, but that her personality is a little "plastic."
shadowplay Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 (edited) No. Tons and tons of men have girlfriends/wives, including highly desirable men and totally repugnant ones. It doesn't mean much. As another poster wrote in a similar thread a few months ago, one random woman's seal of approval is of little consequence. But I do find that the converse is true. If a guy reports being chronically rejected/dumped, it often makes me less interested because I figure there's some undesirable quality he has that I have yet to detect. Edited January 12, 2010 by shadowplay
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 no, its more cause women are treating him as more desirable I probably should have included that too. That definitely comes into play.
Joe Normal Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 No, as a guy I've not noticed this, I seem to get more interest when I am single.
Awesome Username Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 The kind of women who would ignore the fact that a man has a girlfriend....Errgh.
Awesome Username Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 But I do find that the converse is true. If a guy reports being chronically rejected/dumped, it often makes me less interested because I figure there's some undesirable quality he has that I have yet to detect. Yeah, some guys actually try to use that pity angle. It's too bad because some of them would be great guys, if they weren't feeling so sorry for themselves all the time. It's a huge turn-off.
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