Castillo Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 Hi, Guys, Do you find that when you have a girlfriend that you suddenly seem more attractive to other girls? I know with myself this seems to happen. My theory on why this seems to be so is part of it is increased confidence in myself which makes me more attractive and the other part is due to some girls are competitive and want what another girls got. What are your views on this? Girls input also welcome on this.
betamanlet Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 Hi, Guys, Do you find that when you have a girlfriend that you suddenly seem more attractive to other girls? I know with myself this seems to happen. My theory on why this seems to be so is part of it is increased confidence in myself which makes me more attractive and the other part is due to some girls are competitive and want what another girls got. What are your views on this? Girls input also welcome on this. Absolutely. Women desire men that other women desire.
alphamale Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 Do you find that when you have a girlfriend that you suddenly seem more attractive to other girls? yes i always seem to be more attractive to other chicks when i've already got one. thats the way chicks minds work....you're more "valuable" when you are already taken
TaraMaiden Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 I have to say, this to me is the biggest 'hands-off' signal I could get. I would never dream of encroaching onto another lady's territory..... Sorry guys, but it's a huge 'no way' to me, if a guy's taken.
alphamale Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 I would never dream of encroaching onto another lady's territory...... women do it all the time
sagetalk Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 One of my married friends said to me, "You'll never get approached by more girls then when you've got one." I believe him.
threebyfate Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 I view men who are previously committed, as more safe to flirt lightly with or allow close within the confines of friendship, since they already have someone else. I'm also happily married. But through LS, in other threads, it appears that some women do find previously committed men more attractive and have no bones about hitting on them, in a competitive way. One thing's for certain, when many men have someone at home who fulfills their sexual and emotional needs, they're more confident. The ones who lack hard boundaries, will stray from their relationships.
gopher Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 I think that women find confident men more attractive, and that shines through for a lot of guys when they have a g/f.
Bejita463 Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 Do you find that when you have a girlfriend that you suddenly seem more attractive to other girls? Back when I was still married I receive a tiresome amount of attention and flirtation from the ladies. I used to consider removing my ring before doing anything that would allow for that flirtation simply so it would stop. Cheating isn't how I roll, so while it was flattering at first, it quickly became obnoxious.
Ilovehim Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 ok im going to give you my most honest answer. NO! to me when a guy has a girl--he's taken, he could be drop dead gorgeous and i look at him like another girls territory...now if he's single that's a different story...this is because i ahve respect for myself and for other people's relationships...also something turns me off when i "cant have" someone... married men or men who are in relationships are off limits...im attracted to someone who is single, into me, good looking, good hearted and with whom i feel a connection and have a chance at a possible future.
Ilovehim Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 women do it all the time this is very wrong...maybe sluts and girls who like drama...a guy in a relationship DEFINTELY is a no-no....sorry
lord alfred douglas Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 Well if a man is in a relationship or has held a long term relationship it implies that hes satisfactory enough to maintain a partner If a man is single for a long amount of time and spends much of his social life bonding with strangers on the internet it implies there are probably physical or emotional problems with them major enough to be a serious turn off These are just implications but they seem to be more true than not
monkey00 Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 I think it might just be that air of confidence guys exude that makes them more attractive. Single guys can pull this off too, but unfortunately most of the time they don't. It also has to do with wanting what other women want. When a guy was single he was on the market, but when he's dating or in a relationship he's snatched up which makes him availability more rare. Rarity can be attractive. I don't feel the same way about women though. If a woman is taken, that wouldn't make her any more appealing than the single girl. Personally I would choose the single available attractive girl over the taken one.
alphamale Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 this is very wrong...maybe sluts and girls who like drama... nope, regular girls do it too. i've experienced it meself
Author Castillo Posted January 10, 2010 Author Posted January 10, 2010 Slightly different situation, but I once went to a birthday party of a FWB. She had about 12 girls go and I was the only guy. Anyway, a girl from outside the group - unknown to all of us - introduced herself to me and within two minutes gave me her number! My FWB was NOT happy with this - this was HER party and told the girl where to get off. This kind of thing has happened to me several times, but always when I'm either with a GF or I'm the only guy in a group of girls. The only thing I can compare this with when I've been out with the lads is when a girl whose really drunk comes up and starts talking to me - which is a turn off. I was your typical "nice guy" several years ago, but I've lost quite a few of my principles along the way - simply because nice guys finish last. I still consider myself to be a nice guy - but with fewer principles. I feel this is learned behaviour and that some nice guys evolve to differing extents into the bad boy that some girls are attracted to through this learned behaviour. Any comments?
carhill Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 IME, whether they be strangers or friends, the impetus seems to be from two perspectives. 1. I'm married, so I'm 'safe'. They can validate their ego without any risks whatsoever 2. I'm married, so I can be tested without penalty. They can test my fidelity without risk, validate themselves and report the results back to my spouse. This was more predominantly a feature of married women. There are outliers who are damaged and/or clinically mentally ill, and I've experienced those as well, but I discount them as meaningful statistical data. I can say, as mail from women begins to fill my dating site mailbox, I'm not terribly enthused about reading or answering it. It's not that I don't trust them; it's more that I do trust them to be who they are, and that makes me uncomfortable, based on my experiences of the last 30 years. It has been interesting to see, as the news of our impending divorce circulated, how female 'friends' have changed in their demeanor. In some ways, perhaps many, it echoes the assertions of the OP.
threebyfate Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 carhill, do you realize how dehumanizing your post sounds? It's possible you've now reduced yourself to believing that male and female friendship, doesn't exist. I want to think better of you. Am I wrong?
carhill Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 I'm giving you my impressions, based on significant data gathered both during the marriage and divorce process from people I know and interact with in real life. You can do with it what you wish.
dazzle22 Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 Recently read a study of college girls, (think it was on MSN) who were shown pics of guys and told to rate desirability as a date. Some were tagged as "taken", others, "single". The SAME guys' pics were rated higher and statistically significantly so, if the picture indicated they were TAKEN.... .... upset me greatly, but this has borne out as truth in my life. My new husband's exes cared not one iota he was with me...they still aggressively pursued him, and there are still some who would quickly emerge from the "wings" if anything went south with us. This has really jaded the way I look at my own gender. There are some women on this board, one I am dialoguing on a thread with, who think absolutely NOTHING of agressively pursuing a taken man. They LIKE to do it. They get off on it. And it is my belief that this is why it has taken "ice ages":laugh: for us to get equal rights. There are always women who will sell a "sister" down the river for a man. ALWAYS... Yes, there are guys who do this, but there seems to be more of a "brotherhood" and a code of honor about other men's partners, and less men are willing to break it. You know the quote...bros before hos (I don't like that phrase, but there is the sentiment nonetheless). And that does not even scratch the surface of all the cybersex hos who market themselves aggressively to men who are mostly in relationships and like to tease them into cheating on the net. Don't get me started on those slimy hos... I agree with the poster that leaving a wedding ring ON will get you more attention in bars, etc. It attracts a particularly cold blooded sexual predator....and there are A LOT of them out there....
alphamale Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 There are always women who will sell a "sister" down the river for a man. ALWAYS... indeed d22.
threebyfate Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 Recently read a study of college girls, (think it was on MSN) who were shown pics of guys and told to rate desirability as a date. Some were tagged as "taken", others, "single". The SAME guys' pics were rated higher and statistically significantly so, if the picture indicated they were TAKEN.... .... upset me greatly, but this has borne out as truth in my life. My new husband's exes cared not one iota he was with me...they still aggressively pursued him, and there are still some who would quickly emerge from the "wings" if anything went south with us. This has really jaded the way I look at my own gender. There are some women on this board, one I am dialoguing on a thread with, who think absolutely NOTHING of agressively pursuing a taken man. They LIKE to do it. They get off on it. And it is my belief that this is why it has taken "ice ages":laugh: for us to get equal rights. There are always women who will sell a "sister" down the river for a man. ALWAYS... Yes, there are guys who do this, but there seems to be more of a "brotherhood" and a code of honor about other men's partners, and less men are willing to break it. You know the quote...bros before hos (I don't like that phrase, but there is the sentiment nonetheless). And that does not even scratch the surface of all the cybersex hos who market themselves aggressively to men who are mostly in relationships and like to tease them into cheating on the net. Don't get me started on those slimy hos... I agree with the poster that leaving a wedding ring ON will get you more attention in bars, etc. It attracts a particularly cold blooded sexual predator....and there are A LOT of them out there....dazzle, don't fool yourself. There are enough men who sell their bros down the river too, if given the opportunity. For every woman that cheats, there's always a man who enables her by becoming her affair or cheating partner.
dazzle22 Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 Oh, I am not fooling myself. It takes two to tango for sure, but I don't feel comfortable extensively critiquing the opposite sex. I will stay in my own sandbox...
threebyfate Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 Oh, I am not fooling myself. It takes two to tango for sure, but I don't feel comfortable extensively critiquing the opposite sex. I will stay in my own sandbox...Maybe so, but don't tell me you haven't been seriously hit on v. light-hearted flirting, by men, while you've been married or previously committed. It's happened to me more times than I can count.
dazzle22 Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Oh for sure, many times! but I am staying in the confines of the topic of this thread. Also, the job of criticizing men has no openings...fully staffed:p with many on the waiting list for the job.! I'm kind of like not wanting to start a distracting "race" war, so I am commenting only on my own gender and the topic at hand...Plus I really do feel very strongly that women will turn on each other much faster when a man is at stake, rather than the other way round. Just an opinion:)
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