confusedbemused Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 Or has a dumper ever been convinced to go back by something the dumpee said or did? What was it/how did that happen? Just wondering. Link to post Share on other sites
knime32 Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 I was actually going to start a thread like this. I'm curious as well. Should be interesting to see if any dumpers put anything. Link to post Share on other sites
bananaboat11 Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 I honestly... after thinking about this (since posting this thread) do not believe I will EVER hear from my ex-girlfriend ever again. In fact, I believe now.. she was never my girlfriend. Well.. I take that back.. I was NEVER her boyfriend. I was her rebound. All I was good for was purely sex. I'm sorry I ever fell in love with her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ginyi1111 Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 I honestly... after thinking about this (since posting this thread) do not believe I will EVER hear from my ex-girlfriend ever again. In fact, I believe now.. she was never my girlfriend. Well.. I take that back.. I was NEVER her boyfriend. I was her rebound. All I was good for was purely sex. I'm sorry I ever fell in love with her. I feel exactly the same!! And after all the hard work that I have put in to reach where I am now (crying, doubting myself, breaking down in public) I think I can sincerely say I hope he doesnt try to contact me. He can just **** off for dumping me like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Lindsaymck1986 Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 I'm a "dumper" and yes i do want to get back with the ex (father of my child) but I'm scared to make that 1st move. i guess after 8 months apart (but seeing him on a regular basis because of our son) theres a kind of fear of rejection and how to approach the subject, i guess the worst he could say is no and maybe i should just go ahead and ask lol. Link to post Share on other sites
DustySaltus Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 It comes down to pride. The only thing worse than having someone break up with you is you breaking up with someone and then realizing that YOU made a huge mistake. This is what makes second chances so difficult. For the dumper, they really need to show the dumpee how much they love them X 1,000,000 because anyone with self-respect would have a hard time giving them a second chance. My ex is one of the most narcissistic people I have ever met. I loved her with all of my heart and wanted to be a great future husband and father for her. Now, after six months of putting it all in perspective there was probably going to be a divorce somewhere down the line and children being taken away with me to another country. We get so blinded by love, we don't recognize these things. We want to be the heroes, we want to make it work. It's pride, a lack of effort and poor communication skills that hinder them. When I want something I go for it. That is evidenced by my moving to another country, asking her to marry me and willing to build my life around her. I'm sure she realizes that but why try and fix old mistakes when you can just go and try to make new ones...then just go through the same pattern again. Sure, they might swallow their pride and give you a call in time, realizing their wrong. But by then you'll probably have your pride back...it's a delicate balance. The first words out of a dumper mouth should be, "I made a HUGE mistake, i'm sorry. I know we have issues we need to work out and I am COMMITTED to fixing them". Anything less is bs. So yes, most dumpers are scared and they should be, you have every right to be upset. It's your life, don't let someone else define you EVER. Link to post Share on other sites
TheLoneSock Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 The idea of this thread is good but you are going to get very, very few responses from the dumpers you are looking for. Who wants to admit they miss someone they dumped? It's a pride thing. Link to post Share on other sites
DenverBachelor Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 The idea of this thread is good but you are going to get very, very few responses from the dumpers you are looking for. Who wants to admit they miss someone they dumped? It's a pride thing. Pride becomes an obstacle when it goes deep into egotism. I broke up with a girl around 7 years ago after a 1 year relationship. It took me about three years of partying to realize that I broke up with one of the best women I've ever dated. I regret it but don't dwell on it. I was just too immature at the time to realize that she was wife / mother material and I was too hell-bent on partying with and dating complete bitches. We haven't been in contact with each other in years, but I do know that she's in a long-term relationship and she's going for her doctorates in clinical psychology. I don't dwell on it but I do occasionally kick myself in the ass for not taking it more seriously -- but I wasn't in the right place in my own mind at the time. I've been on both sides of the fence in terms of breaking up and getting dumped. Just because they don't contact you doesn't mean they don't think about you. I'm sure most of them have picked up the phone to call or text and then sat it back down because it just wasn't worth it to them. A lot of people carry some guilt for a long time and they'll want to keep their distance from that pain and guilt by convincing themselves of things that aren't necessarily true. Oh well ... I'm at work now. I need to get coffee. Link to post Share on other sites
Oh Moe Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 (edited) It comes down to pride. The only thing worse than having someone break up with you is you breaking up with someone and then realizing that YOU made a huge mistake. This is what makes second chances so difficult. For the dumper, they really need to show the dumpee how much they love them X 1,000,000 because anyone with self-respect would have a hard time giving them a second chance. My ex is one of the most narcissistic people I have ever met. I loved her with all of my heart and wanted to be a great future husband and father for her. Now, after six months of putting it all in perspective there was probably going to be a divorce somewhere down the line and children being taken away with me to another country. We get so blinded by love, we don't recognize these things. We want to be the heroes, we want to make it work. It's pride, a lack of effort and poor communication skills that hinder them. When I want something I go for it. I think this is a difference between men and women, I see something I go for it that's ok. The hard part is when there's a problem attacking it and taking care of it. Most women I've ever known would just procrastinate hoping it goes away, making things worse all the way around. That is evidenced by my moving to another country, asking her to marry me and willing to build my life around her. I'm sure she realizes that but why try and fix old mistakes when you can just go and try to make new ones...then just go through the same pattern again. Sure, they might swallow their pride and give you a call in time, realizing their wrong. But by then you'll probably have your pride back...it's a delicate balance. The first words out of a dumper mouth should be, "I made a HUGE mistake, i'm sorry. I know we have issues we need to work out and I am COMMITTED to fixing them". By the time my ex wanted back SHE was to far gone and not any kind of women I would even want. She fell so far I think it would take years for her to become a good person again. Anything less is bs. Yes it is I have proof. So yes, most dumpers are scared and they should be, you have every right to be upset. It's your life, don't let someone else define you EVER. It suck's but a little honesty can go a long way. Edited January 14, 2010 by Oh Moe Link to post Share on other sites
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