canadaman111 Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 Lastnight I had a dream that we had got back together. We were so happy, it seemed meant to be. The worst part of this is that I have actually been feeling some what better the last few days and now I feel horrible again. We have not really talked since tuesday this past week. That has given me time to think about things and while I still want her back this time apart is easier to except. One thing that is real tough is how the boys are dealing with things. Today they are supposed to spend most of the day with their mother but they don't want to. They say she was mean and left so they don't want to go. They need to go see their mom, but in a way I don't want to force them. I don't want to tell her how they feel cause she will just blame me and say I turned them against her. The kids will say if we don't go see her she will miss us and want to come back. I tell them we can't make her come back like that, and they still need to see her. I have explained to them that she left cause of me and not them. Kids are very persistent but i assume they very improve given sometime. In a way I do hope they can plant the seed in her head about wanting to come back. That may sound wrong but it may just be the ticket. I understand that wouldn't solve the problems between her and I. Before we can solve them problems she has to want to. Maybe the kids can help get us to that point, then the rest will be up to us.
DenverBachelor Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 Yeah, the dreams can be a real PITA, but they do serve a purpose in helping the subconscious release anxieties. There are a lot of theories as to why we dream. I do believe there are different types of dreams (lucid, prophetic, standard, etc.). Most dreams are just the minds way of clearing out emotions and forming stories out of them. Whatever we feel on a conscious layer, there is usually an entire ocean of things we do not really understand in the subconscious. Those are the emotions and images that get brought to the surface via dreams. I'm sorry your kids have to go through this. It would probably be best to try and keep them out of the middle as much as possible. At some point, you might have to have a discussion with her for the kids' sake. They still have a mommy and a daddy and whatever you and her are going through really should be kept as far away from them as possible -- except for letting them know on some level that mommy and daddy are going through difficult times. It really depends on their age. It is a lot easier to explain to a 9 year old than to a 4 year old. Man, that does suck and I wish those type of things didn't happen in the world. My parents split up for seven years when I was 4 years old. I didn't understand it. Any memories that I have of that time period were pushed into the deepest layers of my subconscious. The feeling of abandonment and watching my mom date other men when I was a little kid really messed with my head. Good luck!
Author canadaman111 Posted January 10, 2010 Author Posted January 10, 2010 I dropped the boys off a while ago. They seemed a little happy to go. Boy do I miss her. I tried hard to get in and out, but once i was in I kind of lingered around and started to cry and told her how much I miss her. Needless to say it didn't do any good. I guess I want her to feel the way I do, but if that was the case she never would have left I guess.
dreamer84 Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 i hear you...i had a dream like that it was like finally...but my teeth fell out in this dream...i hate teeth dreams.
Howitzer Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 I feel for you canadaman111. How long has it been now, a few weeks? I know you feel the need to show her how much you miss me. It's really hard to reconcile that feeling with the logical idea that "how much you want her" is not the same as "making her want you". I think you know this though, and that's good. In the mean time, I know it's hard to make your heart understand that.
Recommended Posts