thromback Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 Hello, This is kind of a long story and let's hope it doesn't bore you. I grew up in NY and went away to school to South Carolina. I had tons of friends in the South and loved it so much I ended up staying down there for two years and not coming home to NY at all. I lost contact with all of my friends in NY. Things started to get bad once cops were raiding my house from parties (I am strait edge). Once my friends and i lived off campus they did drugs heavily and drank 24/7. I than began to get "bored" with them and did not like them anymore because they were just all alcoholics and they kept getting in trouble with police. The problem with maintaining friendships for me seems to be a problem with work. When I was a sophomore in South Carolina, I worked the night shift five days a week from 11 pm - 7 am to do a finance internship. I also was taking 18 credits. I did see my friends, but they were always annoyed I worked. I have no debt or student loans right now and I own my own home and I am 20 years old. I may come off as braggerish, but I am just trying to convey that I am sucessfull and outgoing and cannot seem to maintain friendships. I started to still hangout with the same group of friends, but they started turning to extreme drug use and alcohol (I'm talking 2 kegs between 10 people daily) I was the captain of the surf team and I did Thai boxing at the same time --- I basically never slept. Being tired of that life, I decided to transfer back home to NY and go to school in NYC. Back in NY I have very few friends --- They are the same ones from highschool and many of them changed a lot and I no longer like them. I am an avid surfer and cannot seem to meet people with the same interests as me. I currently go to college full-time and work full-time in a restaurant. I really don't know what to do I know this is so vague, but I would also like some insight from somebody on the "outside". I talked to a therapist and they said I was completly normal and how I'm feeling is normal--- they basically did nothing. Can anybody give me any advice? I do not like bars or any of that garbage. I apologize if this was a messy long thing to read.
FieryDream Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Well it sounds like your in a strange situation. What I would say is that are there any other surfers? because if there are try and get to know them. It sounds like friends wise you seem to be having difficulties with the people. Join a social group, even if it sounds not much like you, there will be people there you can meet and get to know. Think of your other hobbies, and join groups within your interests. Also stop working soo much!!!! Work is stressful and if its an unenjoyable area the more amount of negative feelings will pile onto you! You say that you go to college? have you ever thought about Uni? Uni may sound quite ott at the minute but its also one of the places you meet long-term friends. Uni is great actually! Maybe if you tryed to help your friends that have gotten onto drugs. They might throw it back in your face, but in the long term it could help them. Also it sounds like you need to take a break from hard work and get out doing things a bit more! Working part-time could be an option, or if you find your job stressful, find another one, but keep your other job at the same time (if you want to keep it!)
Author thromback Posted January 12, 2010 Author Posted January 12, 2010 Hey well thanks for writing back. I do have some friends, but our work schedules conflict one another. It's just I have so many expenses I am unable to change--- Food, train ticket, mortgage payment that I HAVE to work full-time. The people I work with (in Restauarants) just aren't my type of people. They seem to like me- I get along with them all perfectly at work. all they do for fun is snorting coke in the bar or chain smoking cigs. I do appreciate you writing back and I think it's just temporary. I will make new friends, but I'm pretty sure it's an endless cycle. when I grow up in my 30's I think I will be established and stress-free. I have done what you said already and had some success just its so hard with everything. thanks bro and keep it real
Author thromback Posted January 12, 2010 Author Posted January 12, 2010 Also, in America college=uni in most cases. My college is the 2nd best in the nation for accounting, which is what I am going for. It's different than Europe because I know you guys have tier colleges.
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