xpaperxcutx Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 I hate my friends. Apparently to them, I'm mostly an afterthought. When they want something from me they wouldn't hesitate to ask, yet when it's the other way around, I don't hear anything from them. I feel used. What's even worse is that a friend made plans with me for Saturday, and instead of telling me anything he decides to disappear on me. I deserve to be treated better!
DiscoChick Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 Most of my female friends treat me the same way. They can't offer me support or advice when I need it. Only two of them came to my dad's funeral. They do not call and ask if I want to go out with them. No, I don't, but they could offer! They don't even text to say hello. All they want is advice, advice, advice. Can I get a merry Christmas? Sorry your dad died? Sorry you broke up with the guy you've been in love with for almost three years?! HELL NO. They want to know if these shoes match this dress (through picture message) or if it's okay for them to get an abortion or stay in an abusive relationship. What the hell...? Have the standards for human relationships fallen so low? Rant done.
0hpenelope Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 Most of my female friends treat me the same way. They can't offer me support or advice when I need it. Only two of them came to my dad's funeral. They do not call and ask if I want to go out with them. No, I don't, but they could offer! They don't even text to say hello. All they want is advice, advice, advice. Can I get a merry Christmas? Sorry your dad died? Sorry you broke up with the guy you've been in love with for almost three years?! HELL NO. They want to know if these shoes match this dress (through picture message) or if it's okay for them to get an abortion or stay in an abusive relationship. What the hell...? Have the standards for human relationships fallen so low? Rant done. I've got a feeling that a lot of friends who I didn't mind doing this for fell off the face of the earth when we got Facebook. Because like, we can totally substitute actual conversations with status updates. S'okay, it turns out they weren't much of friends to begin with.
CrestfallenNoMore Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 You know, I have felt this a lot, too. I met a ton of single friends after my divorce. Because my healing has taken longer and I don't desire to date, I've been left behind. They are now all in relationships/having children, etc. People that I introduced now frequently go out without asking if I want to tag along. I seem to be the "single 5th wheel" that no one seems to think about anymore. But what has helped me TREMENDOUSLY in dealing with this, is to change my attitude. I started to realize that their neglect wasn't personal. They still like me, but they have priorities that are more important than me. I can either get frustrated with that, or accept that. As we age, we have husbands, jobs, babies, etc. that take priority over friendships. I accept that, and I spend my time doing a lot of things that interest me. And, when I get an invitation, I react as they do: if I can fit it into my life, then I accept. Now, if you are feeling taken advantage of or used, that's another issue. But stop to think about whether you're personalizing the actions and reacting out of hurt, or if this person really doesn't care about you and only wants you in his/her life for what he/she can take from you. Those are definitely the kinds of people to shed from your life.
Cricket96 Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 But what has helped me TREMENDOUSLY in dealing with this, is to change my attitude. I started to realize that their neglect wasn't personal. They still like me, but they have priorities that are more important than me. I can either get frustrated with that, or accept that. As we age, we have husbands, jobs, babies, etc. that take priority over friendships. I accept that, and I spend my time doing a lot of things that interest me. And, when I get an invitation, I react as they do: if I can fit it into my life, then I accept. Now, if you are feeling taken advantage of or used, that's another issue. But stop to think about whether you're personalizing the actions and reacting out of hurt, or if this person really doesn't care about you and only wants you in his/her life for what he/she can take from you. Those are definitely the kinds of people to shed from your life. Wow, thanks for this response. I'm learning not to personalize everything. Recently I met up with some former coworkers who have become my friends and they talked about a party tomorrow night. She said she would email me about it, but she never did. I figured she'd probably forgot. I don't really care to go either, so whatever right?
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