soul searching Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 A little over a week ago, my H informed me that he no longer wanted to continue our marriage. He didn't feel comfortable being in that kind of relationship with me anymore... So, we left MC that night and I haven't looked back. I am determined to move on towards divorce as quickly as possible. I spoke with a lawyer earlier this week. There are a couple of financial situations which involve help we received from my parents - and loans we are supposed to pay back... The meeting with my parents was scheduled, and re-scheduled due to H's request. Was set for tomorrow afternoon, but he just texted me to say that he wants to meet with just me, not them. I told him I didn't think that was fair to my parents. This meeting was to be business only - about what we owe my parents... and I didn't think we had anything to discuss between the 2 of us right now, but if he needed to address something with me to call or email me. His response to me, "Won't happen. Either the 2 of us meet or no meeting..." What should I do? Oh, btw, I am borrowing a friend's computer to post as he locked me out of our home computer by putting a password on my account! So that's why I have been out of touch for a week or so...
JaneDoe35 Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 That is a tricky one.....maybe he just cant face your parents. I know my husband is avoiding mine totally. He is ashamed. Or he may have something else he wants to discuss with you alone. Maybe just say that you will meet him as he wishes but will not be discussing your parent's financial interest in settlement unless they are present. Good luck, JD
It_Is_What_It_Is Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 I think he is ashamed to meet with your parents and trying to manipulate the situation. He wants out, so everything should be business like. No emotions in dealing with such people. Treat the situation as fair as you possibly can. AS per putting password on the computer, that is simply controlling behaviour. If he doesn't give you the password you can probably re-format the hard drive and install the necessary software - but have to say goodbye to stored items. Goodluck.
tnttim Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 He established NC=(no contact), you have to stick to it. If you talked to a lawyer keep the divorce going, whether you want to or not. Believe it or not it helps either outcome, getting back with him or divorcing him. Read the 180 post right now and follow it to a T. It sounds like there is another woman and he is trying to keep you on board. It happens to everyone, read some posts so you can see your not alone. A lot of the stories on here will match yours. Good luck
Author soul searching Posted January 12, 2010 Author Posted January 12, 2010 Thanks for the advice all. As it turns out, he called my dad the same night to ask what the meeting was supposed to be about... My dad told him, "about the properties" and he told my father about how I closed out the bank account and I had no right to do that. Also, he told my dad that he had no other place to go, that's why he won't move out of our house on his own. Are we supposed to feel sorry for him?? that he doesn't have a steady income and no place to go? Oh, btw, I didn't respond to that last text from him because I have decided not to respond to anything that is addressed to me as an ultimatum. He won't control me anymore. (I still have feelings for him, so unfortunately right now he can still hurt me. But NOT control me.) My dad thinks I should just let the lawyer handle it all now since he wouldn't show up for the meeting we planned - twice! What do you guys think? You were right tnttim... there is someone else. I just heard him talking to her on the phone. You know - the "getting to know you" flirting and giggling conversation?? I only wish I could get this process going fast enough right now. It hurts to know that he is dating someone else.
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