Blueberry7691 Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 Something 'hit' me today as I was reading one of those trashy celeb magazines. Reading about these couples getting together, breaking up, over and over again. And all of a sudden, it dawned on me. Not every relationship was meant to last. We get involved, fall in love, and think or hope 'this is it', they are 'the one', my 'soulmate'. But in reality, it's not always that way even if it's what you want at the time. I've accepted this fact and it makes it easier for me to cope with the idea that my relationship with my ex is over. We fell in love, had some really good times, but it's over now and it's okay. You live and learn... What are your thoughts?
dreamer84 Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 I agree not all relationships are meant to be... but at least they tried and failed, my case is a little different...never got the chance to try out of her fear...we get along great, very compatible....she just runs....*shrugs* one day she will run into a brick wall...
teanoranges Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 I totally understand this. Mine was my first so from the beginning I knew it was doomed... no one ever EVER stays with their first love, almost ever. It was definitely sad, I'm still a little torn over it, but I can also see little things I didn't see before that I should have... it really wasn't as amazing as I thought it was I guess.... which really sucks. I just want the emotions to be over with. its annoying.
bananaboat11 Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 Something 'hit' me today as I was reading one of those trashy celeb magazines. Reading about these couples getting together, breaking up, over and over again. And all of a sudden, it dawned on me. Not every relationship was meant to last. We get involved, fall in love, and think or hope 'this is it', they are 'the one', my 'soulmate'. But in reality, it's not always that way even if it's what you want at the time. I've accepted this fact and it makes it easier for me to cope with the idea that my relationship with my ex is over. We fell in love, had some really good times, but it's over now and it's okay. You live and learn... What are your thoughts? BB - I am in agreement, but I feel you confuse the concept of love during the qualifying stages of a relationship (ie, initial stages where a man and a woman seek out qualities of another partner to enter into the bonding stages of a relationship) with the idea and notion of infatuation. Today... so many fall into infatuation with another... it drives them , along with societal pressures for marriage and being dependent on another for holy matrimony... eventually fall out of infatuation, to never develop love as it is meant to be... some bounce right back... to love and fall head over heels as it is, in my eyes, the best way to live... to be ready to give yourself to one you WANT to love and develop a companionship with. Others are not so lucky... That's why looking retrospectively at my last toxic relationship.. i'm glad it only lasted 4.5 months and not a year. I'd probably be in such worse shape mentally right now.
WantToFixIt Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 I think an arguement could be made that if you have enough attraction to each other to start a relationship then there is enough there to last. People use the phrase "not meant to be" or the worst one "destined to be" s a copout because society tells us to look for the perfect one. That can not exist if expectations are too high. Nobody is perfect and therefore it could be said nobody is ever meant to be. Only the people who can see all the imperfections clearly are "meant to be". Yes, people will accept that it's over and move on, but that is still a concious choice because there is no other choice left. Our minds are playdo. Blame it on Twilight.
scienceguy Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 Yeah, I have similar feelings as well. It's always very hard to cope with certain losses that occur in your life. For my part, my ex-gf was a close friend of several years, and I had a great bond with her, relationship or not. When we broke up, and her decision was always the right one, it was difficult to deal with it. I guess the hardest part is to accept that those things that the two of you used to value or find so special are no longer important anymore. You have to go and learn to build those things again. It's painful to let go of those things. I find it so hard to think about her because I know that our lives have diverged these past two years, and we are no longer the same people. All the things I hoped to share with her will have no chance of coming together. I know that the relationship is wrong, and it wasn't meant to be. It's just hard to accept. Sorry, I don't know if that made sense.
deux ex machina Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 Something 'hit' me today as I was reading one of those trashy celeb magazines. Reading about these couples getting together, breaking up, over and over again. And all of a sudden, it dawned on me. Not every relationship was meant to last. We get involved, fall in love, and think or hope 'this is it', they are 'the one', my 'soulmate'. But in reality, it's not always that way even if it's what you want at the time. I've accepted this fact and it makes it easier for me to cope with the idea that my relationship with my ex is over. We fell in love, had some really good times, but it's over now and it's okay. You live and learn... What are your thoughts? Haha - a pretty good use for a trashy mag! I think that it helped you to put some of it into perspective.
dreamer84 Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 I think an arguement could be made that if you have enough attraction to each other to start a relationship then there is enough there to last. People use the phrase "not meant to be" or the worst one "destined to be" s a copout because society tells us to look for the perfect one. That can not exist if expectations are too high. Nobody is perfect and therefore it could be said nobody is ever meant to be. Only the people who can see all the imperfections clearly are "meant to be". Yes, people will accept that it's over and move on, but that is still a concious choice because there is no other choice left. Our minds are playdo. Blame it on Twilight. i got into a relationship that was not meant to be...we argued during an initial conversation lol this one situation could be a softer twist of it wasn't meant to be meaning our paths will never cross again and the chance we had are blown...its time to move on....or it wasn't meant to be by choice (or her end) cause like i said we were very compatible...just she ran
Recommended Posts