Emmie1 Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 Greetings My husband is a T2 and is on a small dose of insulin. He takes anti-depressants, beta blockers and another drug for high cholesterol, I can't recall the name at the present. He was diagnosed with diabetes when he was in the hospital. He had had a heart attack and has had angioplasty since then. At that time he was taking Metformin and was not on insulin. I moved from overseas to be with him in Australia. What a lovely country - save for the heat! We had been traveling back and forth between hemispheres for a few years until we decided to get married. When we first met he had drunk at least 15 beers. I was stunned as he was still conscious, lucid and articulate. My limit is 5. His drinking has never been a problem in a medical sense, up to now. Although I do suppose this lifestyle might have contributed to his condition. Recently, he will drink 2-3 bottles of wine in one sitting/night. He had been ordered to take insulin in the last few months. Before then, he had difficulty sleeping, urinated frequently and was very volatile with respect to moods. He would become irritable and verbally abusive. With the anti-depressants and the insulin, he appeared to improve. Now, when he doesn't take his meds, he falls asleep and I have difficulty waking him. He complains he is tired and won't get out of bed. My concern is that he doesn't take his meds when this happens, which is happening almost 4 times a week. He will go to bed at 8 or 9pm on a weekend. I do not know if I should notify his GP and his psychologist, as he cannot be forced to take his meds and insulin. What behooves and saddens me is that he refuses to take responsibility for his health and quality of life. He is bereft of knowing that he isn't the only person who suffers along with him. He is estranged from his family and frankly, I don't know how to help him. He is a grown man and a professional. But I am at my wit's end and feel that the only wake-up call I can give him is to leave. Why watch someone die a slow physical and emotional death? I hope I do not sound selfish... Has anyone experienced this scenario and if so, what was done to open your spouse's eyes, so to speak. All stories and advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
marlena Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 I'm sorry. I know what you are going through. My sister has the same problems with her husband. She, too, is at her wits end. Obviously, your husband like my BIL is in denial of his situation and too depressed to do anything about it. He should miss his medicine. This is crucial. Do you think that you could give him his medicine or remind him to take it? You could also monitor his food. As for the drinking, maybe you could set a good example and refrain from having those beers when he's present at least? Personally, yes, I think that you should inform his doctors and have them speak to him in no uncertain terms of the huge risk he is putting his life at. If that doesn't work, there must be someone who can reach him. Adult children perhaps? As for leaving him, it just might make him wake up and smell the coffee. You know your husband better than anyone. Do you think it will? If the answer is 'yes', then, by all means do it. He might just one day thank you for it. Again I am sorry and I wish you lots of luck.
Meaplus3 Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 First off all Alcohol and diabetes are pretty much a no no unless it can be used in moderation.. and even then it's questionable, Alcohol is manily sugar.. and it does not take much to to raise your glucose levels. I know this first hand because one of my brothers is a diabetic. He had a fair amount to drink on one occasion and almost wound up in a diabetic coma.. not a situation you want to be in. The best thing to do is for your SO to speak to his doc about the foods and drinks that he can safely consume.. and how to manage a safe well controlled diet for his situation. Mea:)
carhill Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 Two blatant contraindications are diabetes and alcohol and anti-depressants and alcohol. Your H is an alcoholic IMO. I've seen this dynamic in close male friends. One currently is dealing with it. It might cost him his legs. They're not looking good, if you know what I mean (from diabetes). How old is your H and does he have some close male friends? Sometimes men respond better to other men, especially those whom they've been through 'the wars' with. If his condition is impacting your emotional health (sanity), you have some decisions to make regarding yourself. Learning how to cope in a healthy way; leaving; forcing him to get help. Nothing easy about it. My sympathies.
Author Emmie1 Posted January 14, 2010 Author Posted January 14, 2010 Thanks for the replies. It is appreciated. I have decided to separate and will tell him once I get my ducks lined up in a row.
Recommended Posts