meerkat stew Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 One date's not gonna hurt ya, I got set up last year, found out from friends later, but before the date, that she was extremely large (250+ on 5'7"). Went and had fun anyway, was a nice date.
Johnny M Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 This is why women are so secretive about their looks, because one look and men like you won't even give them a chance. She might be the best woman you will ever meet, but just by her looks, you are already dreading the date, and that's the attitude you will go with. You could have a most delicious filet mingnon sitting on a plate in front you....but if you're a vegetarian, it won't make a lick of a difference that it was made from the finest beef in the world. You still wouldn't eat it. Same deal with relationships. It doesn't matter how wonderful a woman is if you are not physically attracted to her.
Author BobSacamento Posted January 9, 2010 Author Posted January 9, 2010 Hey, you should have seen the ladies spare no mercy when I asked about how I should describe my marital status in my dating profile. If you want to hear only exactly what you want to hear, LS is the wrong place for that Well the massive amount of assumptions this place throws at people is really frustrating. It's like when you post you are basically putting yourself on trail. Perhaps I need a character witness?
carhill Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 OK, here's the thing. OP converses for a couple weeks with 'nice woman' who has no picture on dating site. During a 'background check' he finds a picture and has determined from that picture (and possibly others) that the woman is not physically attractive. He wants to know 'why women are secretive about their looks'? I think the results here speak for themselves. A picture ended the conversations with the 'nice woman'. Pixels on a computer monitor. I'm conducting a similar experiment with my dating profile, exposing women first to my personality then to selected images. As the OP so eloquently put it, I'm 'weeding out the shallow ones'. So far, so good.
Johnny M Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 Doesn't this sort of defy the point of on-line dating? I thought part of the appeal was that you could find someone you were compatible with on a more serious, less shallow level, where looks were sort of a low priority. Good looking / shallow people don't really need the Internet to date people, do they? I'll never understand people, always thinking about sex first, and everything else later. The point of internet dating is to make it easier for single people to meet. If someone is on a dating site, you know that he/she is single and looking, as opposed to a random person on the street, who may very well be in a relationship or not looking. That's the theory anyway. I can kind of see why you think that Internet dating is only for ugly....I mean 'not shallow' people. However, the stigma of online dating being 'the last resort' for desperate ugly folks who can't get a date through conventional means has largely disappeared.
carhill Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 It's like when you post you are basically putting yourself on trial. Yeah, why do you think I've only posted one dating-related thread in 13K+ posts? You gotta remember I've been married for nearly ten years, so I'm learning too. That's why I read these threads, to learn and see if my prior and natural tendencies still have merit and/ or value in today's dating scene. Some do; some don't. It's an imperfect world
meerkat stew Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 However, the stigma of online dating being 'the last resort' for desperate ugly folks who can't get a date through conventional means has largely disappeared. Hear Hear, it's been a godsend for me, as well as anyone else who lives in a suburb with a "challenged" dating pool near a big city. Really time and money efficient also.
Author BobSacamento Posted January 9, 2010 Author Posted January 9, 2010 (edited) Yeah, why do you think I've only posted one dating-related thread in 13K+ posts? You gotta remember I've been married for nearly ten years, so I'm learning too. That's why I read these threads, to learn and see if my prior and natural tendencies still have merit and/ or value in today's dating scene. Some do; some don't. It's an imperfect world Well the whole shallow thing kind of frustrates me. Women don't want a guy who is shallow correct? They also want a guy who is honest correct? So they find a guy, he's honest, not shallow and attracted to her for her personality and all that jazz. What does she ask? - "Do you think I'm pretty?" Women want a shallow man. Edited January 9, 2010 by BobSacamento
carhill Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 Dude, I know you're much more successful with women than I but I have to smack you Quit worrying about what women want, seriously......
alphamale Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 Big mistake. So now I have a date with someone I don't have any real interest in (looks). so? just cancel the date
and.then.some Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 Well the whole shallow thing kind of frustrates me. Women don't want a guy who is shallow correct? They also want a guy who is honest correct? So they find a guy, he's honest, not shallow and attracted to her for her personality and all that jazz. What does she ask? - "Do you think I'm pretty?" Women want a shallow man. Now that's funny. I think the negative responses had more to do with your desire to talk to her friend. Had you not mentioned the friend, I think people would have been more sympathetic to you losing interest in the girl with the great personality. Most people would be pretty miffed if a girl or guy they liked went after their friend... even if they haven't known each other for very long. If you do try to contact the friend I would wait a very loooong time, and that's only if you get the impression that personality girl is not seriously into you. (I say that because I don't know what types of conversations you've had or the level of flirting you've been doing.) As well, ask yourself if it's really worth it to try to get to know this girl who, at this point, you're only interested in because of her looks. I've broken up a couple of cousins before. It does not feel nice at all. Even though I told the guy from the beginning that I just wanted to be friends and that I wasn't interested in him in that way... it did not matter. I learned a very valuable lesson from that, too. Sometimes people have feelings or egos that we may not totally understand, or expect.
CaliGuy Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 I'll never understand people, always thinking about sex first, and everything else later. When you understand that men think about sex 24/7, you'll better understand men as a whole and be well equipped to deal with them.
Author BobSacamento Posted January 9, 2010 Author Posted January 9, 2010 Dude, I know you're much more successful with women than I but I have to smack you Quit worrying about what women want, seriously...... To save some sanity you are probably right.
alphamale Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 To save some sanity you are probably right. whats the game plan BS?
Author BobSacamento Posted January 9, 2010 Author Posted January 9, 2010 whats the game plan BS? Cancel the date and reach out to the friend. Odds are I'll get no response. I thought I'd share with you all as I though it was an amusing scenario.
alphamale Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 Cancel the date and reach out to the friend. Odds are I'll get no response. I thought I'd share with you all as I though it was an amusing scenario. good plan..
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