singlemom19 Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 my ex and i broke up for good a couple days ago...we have a daughter together but we both agreed tht we shouldnt stay together just cause of her...we fought all the time n i had trust issues but the next day after we broke up he already had someone new n telling me he was so happy wit her....he said it was easy to get over me cause he found someone who made him alot happier...i want to get over him n find someone to make me even more happier but i cant seem to stop calling him n asking for him back or checking his facebook page...something is wrong wit me....
CrestfallenNoMore Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 Nothing is WRONG with you. You're grieving. And so soon after the breakup, those feelings are going to be the most profound. I know it's hard not to, but don't believe the "I'm so happy" attitude from your ex. The very fact that he could enter into a new relationship and claim happiness so soon is a smokescreen. He's either doing it to push you away, or "punish" you for whatever perceived wrongdoings he thinks occurred in the relationship. It's an immature, though common, move. If you entered into a new relationship so soon as well, it would be nothing more than a smokescreen for you as well. Work on yourself, reconnect to your old interests, friends, etc. that you may have neglected while in a relationship and focus on yourself. Be selfish with your feelings and acknowledge that you need time to heal and move on. It may not seem like it now, but you WILL come through to the other side. Consider therapy if you think that will help.
knime32 Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 Your situation is similar to mine in some ways but not in others. My ex and I of 6 years broke up a little over a month ago, and he was seeing someone new 2 days after we broke up. I know he wasn't seeing her before we broke up, but he was set up on a blinddate that soon afterwards. I agree that the new relationship is a smokescreen and it has allowed him to mask his feelings and not deal with them. They eventually catch up with them and they have to deal with them. My ex has recently started calling me and wanting to know if we can talk again. I'm very hesitant because of what was said and done during our breakup. He is confused about whether or not he wants this new "relationship" or the old one he had with me. Our relationship ended because we let the pressure of outside forces weigh too much on us and we lacked communication which lead both of us to be unhappy. I agree that rushing into a new relationship yourself isn't going to do you any good. Take time to reconnect with yourself and evaluate what you feel went wrong and if you played any part in it and work on improving you, being happy again, and when the next opportunity presents itself, you'll be so thankful you took the time to pull yourself together afterwards. I'm seeking help from therapy to get through my issues and my breakup and determining what things mean. If you can do it, its so helpful. Your friends and family can help, but theres nothing like that objective person helping you get through it! Good Luck!!!
dreamer84 Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 can we say rebound? he's "happy" right now, but not overall...he's happy he doesn't have to grieve over you like you are him, he has something to occupy his time, you should do like him but not with another relationship, do you go out have fun. I know easier said than done. In your time you will. but i feel similar to this too, she only known this person since sept and is now in a relationship with them. It would be fine if she wasn't seeing someone else in aug/sept before this person. hell i caught her saying i love you to this prev person a month before she started saying i love you to her now lover...its so stupid...it really is...(i get this inkling she is trying to rebound from me being we lived together) the new person is fresh out of a relationship as well...its a rebound. trust me. i think they got together JUST because i said i will give you til January and it will be over. i knew they would do this... o...lol anyway. hes not really happy...its just a rebound.
Author singlemom19 Posted January 11, 2010 Author Posted January 11, 2010 i wish it was as simple as u guys say it is but he has had a crush on her since his senior year at highschool....i caught him 2 days after giving birth txting her n saying how beautiful she was n how perfect they would be together n when we were trying to work us out they started talking more n hanging out n apparently from wht he says those feelings came back...he has told me tht he doesnt love me anymore but i dont think the realtionship will last she goes to school full time 2 hours away from him while he works all the time 9 to 10 hours a day...
LovelyDaze Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 i wish it was as simple as u guys say it is but he has had a crush on her since his senior year at highschool....i caught him 2 days after giving birth txting her n saying how beautiful she was n how perfect they would be together n when we were trying to work us out they started talking more n hanging out n apparently from wht he says those feelings came back...he has told me tht he doesnt love me anymore but i dont think the realtionship will last she goes to school full time 2 hours away from him while he works all the time 9 to 10 hours a day... Whatever you do...Go NC foe sure from him. Sorry, but your ex is acting like a complete bozo. I don't care if your ex had a crush on this girl since Adam and Eve, ANY relationship that ends with the person jumping right into another is a failure. A person must take time to be on their own to figure out who they are and what they want in the next relationship. Another thing I am going to urge you to do is to please not accept any crumbs from your ex. If you keep NC 100%, I can promise that he WILL contact you in some shape or form later down the road. Your ex sounds he loves attention and especially loves his ego brushed and combed nice and pretty. Don't let him. YOU will be the fool if you do. Show him who you are on the inside. Be strong, beautiful and confident. Because there is a wonderful guy 1000x better than your ex that can't wait for you to heal so he can love you madly and truly!
Recommended Posts