lefty000 Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Where to begin? I guess I'll give some details about the relationship and the split. I apologize in advance for the long post. My ex and I met 2 years ago at a summer concert event in my home town, at the time she lived 300 miles away from me. The same weekend we had met my mother was diagnosed with a cancerous mass in her brain. From the day my famiy and I found out about it this girl was my rock, my shoulder to cry on and so forth. Well my mom had surgery and started treatments and slowly started to get better we thought. My ex and I had gotten extremely serious so I decided that I wanted to be closer to her. I moved to her hometown and we bought a townhouse together and I had a great job and everything seemed wonderful. We had a wonderful life together and we would head back to my parents place on weekends. Well, I suppose 7 or 8 months or so after I moved my mother's cancer started spreading again. Not being with her really brought me down and put me into a depression. I know she felt helpless in those situations but was still supportive and very loving. I held those moments so close to me I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I purchased a ring for her and had plans on giving her the ring on a vacation we had planned with her family and us. It was only a month or two after I bought the ring we celebrated my birthday in september. We had a great day together. Had a wonderful dinner together and so on. In the evening before we were heading to bed she gave me my gift and "wanted to talk". I was completely floored by her breaking it off with me on my birthday. She said she couldn't do it any longer and no longer loved me. She told me she couldn't take how depressed I was and that I had to go back home. At the time I know she wanted to do the right thing and she said she wanted to get back together again when I was better. Well I moved back to be with my family. Her and I have had no contact for 2 months of the four we've been apart now and a lot of the contact we've had she has been extremely rude and downright nasty to me. I try to give her updates on how my mom is doing and she tells me she doesn't care. My mom is on her last days right now unresponsive to her surroundings. It absolutely kills me that my ex doesn't ever ask how she is doing. I'm not saying I was perfect in our relationship, depression is a disgusting disease that she didn't deserve to see me go through but I never thought she would be like this. Why do I care so much. Why do I still want to be with her? Will she want to be with me again? She isn't dating anybody and has actually started hanging out with alot of my friends there. Not sure why she would be doing that either. She is on vacation this weekend with her family, I was planning on proposing to her tomorrow night. Amazing how life changes. Sorry for the long confusing post. Any input would be appreciated. Thanks a million.
Jade 02 Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 Wow how selfish is she,I would support my worst enemy if their family had cancer. Sorry to hear about your mom,spend as much time with her as you can is all I can say. I know I would regret it so if I wasn't their for my mom during this hard time for her. Seems like you would also To me ,your girl,seems selfish,I don't get her.ALL MOM's comes 1st in my book,thats worry enough,women are everywhere as time goes by,and you seem to deserve better than one that has no feelings on how you feel ESPECIALLY at this time. I Pray for you & your MOM
jms76 Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 Lefty, Yes, sorry to hear about your mom. I can only imagine what you are going through. And I'm sorry that your ex is not helping matters. I think you might be asking the wrong questions. Perhaps you should view this situation differently? I understand how you feel, your heart aching for the one you once had. But shouldn't you be asking yourself: Why do I want to be with a woman who does not care about the grief I'm experiencing? You care and it bothers you because you expected your ex to act with some compassion and to understand this difficult time and to allow you to grieve while your mother fights her battle. Most of us have a hard time letting go or accepting that our SO/EX are not the person we thought they were. Take comfort that most people (if not all people) would feel the same way as you do now. Best thing you can do is be with your family. Let your EX go and realize that this may be a blessing in disguise. Perhaps she is not the woman you thought she was....or want to marry? Good luck and take care.
Recommended Posts