Brokenhearted_girl Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 I am writing this letter to the ex but not sending it.... I think it may be therapeutic to do so. If you guys want to post some of yours, please do so, or just post random comments. Thank you!
Author Brokenhearted_girl Posted January 8, 2010 Author Posted January 8, 2010 [sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]I miss you but I have a lot reasons to hate you. I saw all those emails you wrote to the other girl and it killed me. You guys exchanged phone numbers, planned to meet up and you have been flirting with her for a long time. Even on our happiest times together, you already had her in your life. I believed you each time you told me there was no one else, I believed I was paranoid and insecure, that it was all in my head. I believed that you didn’t have bad intentions towards me, towards our relationship because we started out as friends and friends do not betray each other. I believed you when you said you loved me. Each time you said that, to me, it was an affirmation that you felt the same way I did. Now I know I was a fool to believe you! I should have listened to myself, and protected my heart. Where does this leave me now? All these feelings, this love for you? Why did you have to deceive me? Why couldn’t you be honest and tell me you didn’t feel the same way? I would have had the option then to move on and find someone else for me instead of falling for you, loving you and trusting you with my heart. You promised you would be careful with my heart but I stand here with my heart crushed and broken… How can I go on with my life like this? [/FONT][/sIZE]
HLP234 Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Do it in notepad or something not in the email becuase you may just have an urge to send it. I haven't written one yet, but I've been going over in my mind what I would say if I were to tell her how I feel. I don't expect to ever have contact with her again but if she does pester me later, i may just tell her and say I'm done and want nothing to do with them. I hope that doesn't happen though.
Author Brokenhearted_girl Posted January 8, 2010 Author Posted January 8, 2010 Do it in notepad or something not in the email becuase you may just have an urge to send it. I haven't written one yet, but I've been going over in my mind what I would say if I were to tell her how I feel. I don't expect to ever have contact with her again but if she does pester me later, i may just tell her and say I'm done and want nothing to do with them. I hope that doesn't happen though. Yeah I just don't have any closure right now. I can't seem to turn off my emotional television. I am just a wreck right now. My co-workers look at me with pity. I am just the opposite of who I am now. I used to love my job, and I am damned good at it. Now all I see are paperwork stacked and I want to run, bolt, quit! I hate my life now that he's gone. Nothing matters anymore. I have lost my life... I am nothing now...
bananaboat11 Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Yeah I just don't have any closure right now. I can't seem to turn off my emotional television. I am just a wreck right now. My co-workers look at me with pity. I am just the opposite of who I am now. I used to love my job, and I am damned good at it. Now all I see are paperwork stacked and I want to run, bolt, quit! I hate my life now that he's gone. Nothing matters anymore. I have lost my life... I am nothing now... Hun... the first thing I learned is that closure cannot come from the other party... nothing is wrong with you. Something is wrong with him. He left you... most likely he is reflecting his own problem through you (typical of any sudden breakup)... he is the problem. Your closure... you will find from within that you are the bigger, better person. When I havemore time... I will elaborate. I'm in a rush now, but please.. keep your head up! Smile... I'm sure you have a beautiful smile and one such as yours is a terrible thing to waste.
madrugada Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Hey Brokenhearted_girl, I'm sorry you're suffering. I'm the same way at work now, even two months after the breakup. My coworkers tell me I look pathetic. Keep posting, we're all here to help each other and I've been reading your posts, and I truly feel for you. It's good to write out your thoughts and feelings. But don't be tempted to send anything if you're going to expect a response. Only do it if you feel it will give you some kind of closure. The last word, so to speak. It's okay to hate life for a while. You're grieving. You've been hurt deeply, and it's up to you to work through the process at your own pace. Anyway, I wrote such a letter and posted it about a month ago. I think the title of the thread was "last letter to my ex" I sat on it for a month, and then after breaking NC during the holidays (long story) I sent it to her. Not to provoke a response, but to get it all out there. To let it go. She responded, said it was beautiful and made her cry and she was glad I sent it. Since then, I went back to NC. And I'm glad I sent it. Getting it all out is helping me move forward. Good luck to you. I'm sorry you're going through this, but you will come out the other side a better and stronger person. As my dad used to say, Well, if my ass gets burned it's all for the good of the barbecue!
Silver_star Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 There are alot of dishonest people in the world (men and women) who find themselves in relationships and they end up caring for each other, difference is one of those people may have some baggage or issues that dont involve you and they are taking you along for a ride. They may lie, cheat or steal from you and since they are that dishonest to begin with they are going to lie to you and tell you the oppositie it true. He kept you around because it was to his benefit and it accomodated his schedule then he threw you away for someone else so he can continue the cycle. Its going to be painful. But it will make you strong and it will make you appreciate those around you that havent left you and that are caring about how you feel right now. It will make you realize that you deserve so much more, and it will make you settle for nothing less than the best next time.
HLP234 Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Its very tough, I sit in my office sometimes and the worst part is I don't really have anything to do most of the time so all of it comes back and then I get all upset. There is something you have to look forward to. I'm graduating college in may, already have a job lined up kinda, and I still feel worthless and like crap. I'm not sure what response I would get from her if I sent a letter like that. She would probably cry and feel bad but then she would say something to make it look like I didn't try or it was my fault..when she left on her own. I won't do it since it will just make things worse for me. She won't change her mind anyway, and it wont erase these feelings away.
gaudi Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Do it in notepad or something not in the email becuase you may just have an urge to send it. Mine's in NOTEPAD. Every time I look at it I have the urge to send it. That's probably because I put every little thing in it that I want to say to her now but never did. God I miss her.
HLP234 Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 Yeh I would just come on here and post as much as I can when I have the feeling to write or something. Which reminds me, I have a letter on this computer that I wrote to her about a few months back, more like a poem. I think I need to get rid of that soon.
Author Brokenhearted_girl Posted January 9, 2010 Author Posted January 9, 2010 Yeh I would just come on here and post as much as I can when I have the feeling to write or something. Which reminds me, I have a letter on this computer that I wrote to her about a few months back, more like a poem. I think I need to get rid of that soon. Post it here before you delete it! I love poems!
Author Brokenhearted_girl Posted January 9, 2010 Author Posted January 9, 2010 There are alot of dishonest people in the world (men and women) who find themselves in relationships and they end up caring for each other, difference is one of those people may have some baggage or issues that dont involve you and they are taking you along for a ride. They may lie, cheat or steal from you and since they are that dishonest to begin with they are going to lie to you and tell you the oppositie it true. He kept you around because it was to his benefit and it accomodated his schedule then he threw you away for someone else so he can continue the cycle. Its going to be painful. But it will make you strong and it will make you appreciate those around you that havent left you and that are caring about how you feel right now. It will make you realize that you deserve so much more, and it will make you settle for nothing less than the best next time. Thanks Silverstar. I do hope that soon I will truly realize that he was not good for me, that no matter what I did, he would never commit to me and never be faithful either. I was analyzing everything that happened and what I could have changed to avoid the breakup. Maybe I shouldn't have yelled at him over the phone furious over the emails, maybe I should have spoken to him in person. I think it would have delayed the break up yes but I think it would have still occurred. No doubt. I just wish I knew that it was going to be the last time my ex and I would be talking, I wouldn't have been an insecure jealous gf. Oh well. Live and learn.
HLP234 Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 I would post it here but it was a good letter/poem, when we were dating and everything was ok. I have not written anything that shows how I feel about her now. I just try to not think of it at all..for the most part I can seem to be ok with it, but if I'm not out with friends or around other people it all comes back. I've been partying more lately and I don't see it as really working out most of the time. I end up just drinking and hanging out then go home and try to sleep it off. I have met some new people but nothing's been happening so far.
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