duece22022 Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 i guess i am in the anger stage. my ex g/f broke up with me about 3 weeks ago. we have been together for 6 years. i really want to send her all the objects and reminders of our relationship. for 2 reasons: 1) i really want to get over her and i don't want all this **** that reminds me of her. i think it will help me move on. 2) i want her to have all the reminders and i guess i want her to feel pain as well. maybe she wants some of the stuff she made me like the calendars and the pictures. i just don't have the balls to throw this stuff away. i am so confused. i know how vindictive and immature it sounds if i send this stuff to her. but a part of me doesn't care. i want to move on. do you guys think this is a good idea? i don't want this crap stuffed away in my attic. please give feedback.
CaliGuy Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 I think that's fine. Box everything up and give it to a mutual friend to deliver it to her. The important aspect here is not to deliver it to her personally because she'll think it's just an excuse to see her. The best way to prove that is not the case is to mail it to her or have a mutual friend deliver it to her. Then -- never contact her again. Ever.
Silver_star Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Your right. Sending her a box of objects that "hurt you" to "hurt her" first of all wont work like you think it will in your head. It will only make you look childish and immature to her, and it sends her the message that you did that to hurt her which in turn means you still care enough and so she still has power to hurt you. You are not doing yourself any favors by pulling a dink move like that. Yea maybe your hurting and angry and want her to feel that way too, but its just not doing you any favors. Wait a while without looking at it, grow the balls and throw it out. You dont need it, she doesnt need it or want it. So throw it out.
Brokenhearted_girl Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 I'm in the process of doing this myself. I'm having my sister deliver his stuff and his keys. Everything he gave me I boxed it up and stored to never be seen until I'm ready to deal with them. I agree with Caliguy, just mail it or have a friend deliver it. Also, I need to add, I've asked my sister that whatever my ex gives her back, like my stuff from his apt, to just keep it or throw them away. I dont need to see reminders of my old life.
HLP234 Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 What I did, was just put everything in a box (letters she wrote me, pictures) and just put it somewhere I don't see it. I don't see the point in sending the stuff back to them. I got her a really nice birthday present when our break started, I don't expect her to give that back to me, nor do I want it back. Its hers no matter how much money I spent on it. Even though she left me, her giving that back would make me feel insulted because once I gave it to her, its hers and she can do whatever she wants with it. I don't see the point in giving back things since what ever you two return to each other will still remind you of them. I would just take it out of site or if they are pictures or whatever, put them away for good or throw them out, but then again throwing stuff seems a little rude..but do what you have to I suppose, if it helps get over them.
Author duece22022 Posted January 8, 2010 Author Posted January 8, 2010 i hate the split decision. everybody i ask, half the people say do it and the other half say don't be immature. i am just probably over thinking this .
TaraMaiden Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Most have said send it to her, but not directly. Give it to a mutual freind and tell her (via them) that anything she doesn't want, she can dispose of. It means nothing to you. But one caveat: I would hold onto it for 4 months. That way, you'll be able to tell whether this is coming from a seat of practicality and emotion, or emotion and practicality..... That's it really.....
Author duece22022 Posted January 11, 2010 Author Posted January 11, 2010 ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Silver_star Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Throw away what was hers, or box it up and give it to charity ( Im not sure what objects you have of hers) and anythign that was an exchange and has sentimental value to you (letters, photos, those small things) put those in a box and save them as mementos. Dont sit there and look at them daily...just put it away for later in life. It doesnt have to be a painful memory later on in life when your over it. You can just look back at the memories and laugh. I threw away a nice love letter from my first boyfriend cause i thought i had to do that to move on, and i regret not keeping something to look back on as a memento. So...I dont think its that difficult deuce. Do what you got to do. But dont try and be a jerk by sending her stuff, it may or may not backfire ya know.
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