b52s Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 I have met a few people, even friends I know well, that...for some reason...that aren't at liberty to discuss how it is going dating-wise with a current woman. Friend of mine, I noticed he started dating this one girl from our group, she's a nice girl too. BUt it seems during this phase of 'Seeing how things go' they like to keep things on the downlow However, other friends feel free to discuss how things are going. With a current someone. Maybe it's perhaps it has to do with the fact we know both of them? Meaning, if a good friend we know is dating someone out of our social circle....they can feel free to discuss it...whereas, if not....then they keep it quiet? Now, I'm not talkinga bout discussing sex life, but just dating a new someone in general... With a friend of mine, a guy friend, we always email each other back and forth, and then I said, "hey, I noticed you're hitting off pretty well with <her name> has that comin along?" No response. Found that odd.
betamanlet Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 I have met a few people, even friends I know well, that...for some reason...that aren't at liberty to discuss how it is going dating-wise with a current woman. Friend of mine, I noticed he started dating this one girl from our group, she's a nice girl too. BUt it seems during this phase of 'Seeing how things go' they like to keep things on the downlow However, other friends feel free to discuss how things are going. With a current someone. Maybe it's perhaps it has to do with the fact we know both of them? Meaning, if a good friend we know is dating someone out of our social circle....they can feel free to discuss it...whereas, if not....then they keep it quiet? Now, I'm not talkinga bout discussing sex life, but just dating a new someone in general... With a friend of mine, a guy friend, we always email each other back and forth, and then I said, "hey, I noticed you're hitting off pretty well with <her name> has that comin along?" No response. Found that odd. Probably a bit embarassing. If anyone asks me if I'm dating, I just say no. But that's always my answer... If pareto principals really apply to dating, which I do believe, a small % of men get most of the women, so there are a lot of guys out there not dating.
DiscoChick Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 My ex boyfriend was like this. The only person in his family that I met was his favorite cousin, and that was only because they were roommates. He and I were together for a few years, and I never met his mother once. I met one of his professors. Other than that, he told me he does not publicize his life. I, on the other hand, live in a pretty open family, and we share almost everything. I can distinguish between what should be shared and what shouldn't, but I just couldn't understand how you could keep someone you supposedly care about a secret. I guess it depends on the person's familial background and their experiences with bringing relationships to the open. Also, a person may be afraid to announce a relationship that he/she feels may end at any moment.
stillafool Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 I was always a person who never discussed my dating life. It also use to annoy me when my girlfriends would go over every detail of their dates, phone conversations, etc. with guys. I just don't care to know. I might say how is "so and so" to be polite but really don't want personal details.
New_Life08 Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 This is because they do not want to close any doors. Period. Think about the reasons you would ignore inquiries about dating someone. He could at least say: "it's going fine". It seems he is worried about how those answers will effect the asker.
Stockalone Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 With a friend of mine, a guy friend, we always email each other back and forth, and then I said, "hey, I noticed you're hitting off pretty well with <her name> has that comin along?" No response. Found that odd. To me, the question seems odd as I've never been asked that by a friend. Why would you ask that? Just to be polite or do you actually want to know? I don't care who my friends are dating or how it's going. Likewise, I'll introduce a gf to my friends, but not a woman I have just started dating. In the case you mentioned, it seems the only reason you know that he is dating this woman is because you know her too. It is possible that he doesn't talk about the women he dates in general, and that is why he didn't answer your question.
Author b52s Posted January 8, 2010 Author Posted January 8, 2010 My ex boyfriend was like this. The only person in his family that I met was his favorite cousin, and that was only because they were roommates. He and I were together for a few years, and I never met his mother once. I met one of his professors. Other than that, he told me he does not publicize his life. I, on the other hand, live in a pretty open family, and we share almost everything. I can distinguish between what should be shared and what shouldn't, but I just couldn't understand how you could keep someone you supposedly care about a secret. I guess it depends on the person's familial background and their experiences with bringing relationships to the open. Also, a person may be afraid to announce a relationship that he/she feels may end at any moment. yeah, some times you can sit around with a beer, chat with the buds, talk about that kind of thing, but....it's kind of unusual to find someone (esp a guy) that is private about this kind of thing.
Yukikazi Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 yeah, some times you can sit around with a beer, chat with the buds, talk about that kind of thing, but....it's kind of unusual to find someone (esp a guy) that is private about this kind of thing. Unusual perhaps but not unheard of.. I don't discuss this stuff with my friends. They don't ask either. Hell I don't discuss alot of my life with them.. my best friends probably don't even know how many siblings I got... and only 1 of my friends has ever met any of my family following moving out of the house and that was 1 single occasion. My reasoning is if someone wants to know.. they can ask.. if they don't ask.. then it doesn't matter enough to them so why should I share.
Author b52s Posted January 8, 2010 Author Posted January 8, 2010 Unusual perhaps but not unheard of.. I don't discuss this stuff with my friends. They don't ask either. Hell I don't discuss alot of my life with them.. my best friends probably don't even know how many siblings I got Hell, not even sure I'd call what you have with those people even a friendship. I have a cuople of dudes we're always talking about are dating experiences very freely (we don't talk about sexual stuff) but just dating with a certain girl You know, like we ALL DO HERE ON LOVE SHACK! lol
Yukikazi Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Hell, not even sure I'd call what you have with those people even a friendship. I have a cuople of dudes we're always talking about are dating experiences very freely (we don't talk about sexual stuff) but just dating with a certain girl You know, like we ALL DO HERE ON LOVE SHACK! lol They are friends.. we just don't have a need to know everything about each other. Mind you.. I have spent the past 6 years worth of xmas eve's with my best friends family.. I'm almost a member.. but he has met my mother once. I'm just not very open about any portion of my life that dosen't directly pertain to the friendship/relationship... unless asked.
Star Gazer Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 I think you're just a little too nosy with people you don't know well, Bells.
carhill Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 My friends always met my dates at the point we were exclusive. I always talked about my dating life and other aspects of my life with friends and family and was a good listener regarding other's dating and marital/relationship experiences. We're all just different. I personally don't see it being a big deal. It's just stuff. None of us is really that important in the big scheme of things...
Johnny M Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Some people are more private than others. In general, women are much more fond of babbling about their dating lives than men. By the way "keeping things on the downlow" is black slang for being a closeted homosexual. I'm guessing that's not what you meant
Stockalone Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 I think you're just a little too nosy with people you don't know well, Bells. I'd say he is nosy with all people. At least he doesn't discriminate, everyone gets those questions from him.
Author b52s Posted January 8, 2010 Author Posted January 8, 2010 I had a real close friend of mine tell me he's seeing this one womann, and told me not to tell anyone else he's doing so....at least until they get serious (or if it got serious) Which I thought was weird, but I did as he told me, THEN, when it DID get exclusive, he said it was cool to do so, in fact, I guess he made it obvious when he started showing up with her more often in public or something....
Rollercoasterr Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 I think that you want to be a little too involved in everyones relationships. Facebook, myspace, and now your real life friends??? You need a hobby. Like in the worst way. Or maybe a dog.
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