Confused5433 Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Yes, I have begun after all this time. I finally decided to be more active and find someone. Now here comes the problem. Two nights ago I meet the most incredible person I have ever meet in my life. He has all the qualities I like and more. He is younger than me by 7yrs (bummer) and lives in another country and is just passing by (traveling). Ok not my future anything, except friend but I truly enjoyed his company and just getting to know him was such a pleasure and so refreshing. The problem is after I said goodbye, and went back home I got so sad. What is wrong with me? I started to compare him to my ex. "Oh he smiles just like him", "Oh he says the same things" or "He looks at life the same way" Why am I doing this?? It's been 3yrs since I last saw him and it is overrr, for good. This guy is like 100% better than my ex in every way, but I can't help it, it's automatic though process. My ex was my first love and I loved him so, so deeply but I realize that he will never be. I don't like projecting his image on others. I just don't know what is the matter with me and would like to know if anybody has gone through the same thing and how to get over this. It's like his memory won't leave my mind and starting over seems like going back to him in a weird way. It's crazy!! Anybody gone through this...
FindingE Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Yes, I have - we were together for almost 8 years and it has been over 5 years since we broke up, 5 years since I have seen him and I have been married for 4 years to another man and I still can't get him out of my head, my heart. The loves of our lives never leave our hearts or our minds, just keep living, keep moving on and it will fade. He fades more and more every month, every year that passes. Best of luck on this one - there is no quick fix or easy answer, it is a true grieving process, similar to when someone you love dies tragically. The only thing that heals it is time. This has been the case for me anyway.
Author Confused5433 Posted January 8, 2010 Author Posted January 8, 2010 Thank you for your response. Let me ask you something..are you happy with your husband? Do you find the love you have for him greater than your ex? Eventhough you still care for your ex or he is still in your mind. You don't have to answer if any question makes you uncomfortable. I'm just curious to know if that cliche is real "a nail removes another nail" or something to that effect.
CLC2008 Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Nope. There is nothing I miss or long for with any of my exs, and very different from the other both looks-wise and personality wise.
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