AngelDollFace Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 I posted recently about my bad relationship... you can look up that post if you want. I fell down today and tore a muscle and a tendon in my neck. I had to go to the hospital... it was a huge big mess. When the BF picked me up he told me how inconvenient it was to pick me up and then told me that he would take me home to rest (I can't even sit up on my own) but that he was going to be leaving to go to a bar. He then felt the need to tell me that he will probably get married someday... but that it just won't be to me. Nobody in my life has ever been as mean to me as he is. He told me he was fine with us breaking up and that he doesn't care at all. I told him I was starting no contact and he doesn't believe me. The hard part will be tomorrow when he starts sending me text messages saying he loves me and that he was wrong. It's hard to be strong and not reply. I have failed at NC at least 15 times or more with him. Anyone have pearls of wisdom? I must not break NC even if he begs.
LovelyDaze Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 I posted recently about my bad relationship... you can look up that post if you want. I fell down today and tore a muscle and a tendon in my neck. I had to go to the hospital... it was a huge big mess. When the BF picked me up he told me how inconvenient it was to pick me up and then told me that he would take me home to rest (I can't even sit up on my own) but that he was going to be leaving to go to a bar. He then felt the need to tell me that he will probably get married someday... but that it just won't be to me. Nobody in my life has ever been as mean to me as he is. He told me he was fine with us breaking up and that he doesn't care at all. I told him I was starting no contact and he doesn't believe me. The hard part will be tomorrow when he starts sending me text messages saying he loves me and that he was wrong. It's hard to be strong and not reply. I have failed at NC at least 15 times or more with him. Anyone have pearls of wisdom? I must not break NC even if he begs. Hey AngelDollFace, Yes, I remember your story so well. PLEASE do NC now and forever with that one. My God, that guy is a royal jerk. Hell, let's just call him an a**clown...more fitting. I can't think of any true friend or family member I have that wouldn't be by my side if something happened to me enough were I had to go to the hospital. Drop him like a soggy apple and leave him where you found him.
Author AngelDollFace Posted January 8, 2010 Author Posted January 8, 2010 Thank you. I am really going to try to be strong he'll be texting to say sorry soon I am sure but I must not reply!
LovelyDaze Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Thank you. I am really going to try to be strong he'll be texting to say sorry soon I am sure but I must not reply! Yes, Don't reply!!! It'll knock the wind clean out of his sails!
phoenix1 Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Don't do it!! Why? Because if you do you can have yet another, heartbreaking painful experience like I did today. I just went NC, AGAIN, and was home this week recovering from minor surgery. The first two days the X called me, offered to bring me something, etc and I was strong and said, "thanks, but I'm good". The third day....well, being pretty bored, vulnerable and lonely by this point, I said OK to lunch. I got all ready, looked cute, he picked me up, we ate lunch, he was totally checked out and I swear to god as he put the last bite of food in his mouth, he just got up and was ready to drive me home. Didn't want to hang out for a minute, nothing. I was back at my house in my cute outfit, within an hour. Why did he even bother? I think he feels guilty about how he's treated me in the past and this way he can feel better about himself. He can say he did his "duty". The result? Once again I had unrealistic expectations about someone who has shown me otherwise repeatedly. How did I feel? Like ****. Like an idiot. Stupid. Like a desparate loser. I have vowed to myself before I break NC again, I will remind myself of this day. Although missing him is painful and sucks, the person I once knew and loved is gone. Sorry I kinda hijacked, but maybe you can learn from my mistake.
Silver_star Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Turn your phone off if it helps. Contact your friends through other numbers and keep your phone in a box in your closet or ask someone to hide it from you for a while until your strong enough. go out, and stay busy with things, anything. Just dont call him and dont replly to his texts. Hes controlling you ,and gets a kcik out of the power he has over you. Nothing more. He doesnt care about you by the sounds of it. He would not make a "good friend" either. So just help yourself by cutting him out of your life
gaudi Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 The hard part will be tomorrow when he starts sending me text messages saying he loves me and that he was wrong. It's hard to be strong and not reply. I have failed at NC at least 15 times or more with him. Anyone have pearls of wisdom? I must not break NC even if he begs. Fom what you've said so far (this and your other thread) you really should have no other motivation for never even thinking of this guy again, let alone responding to him. However, I for one know that is impossible. This guy sounds like he may very well be back in touch, trying his best to get you back to where he can control you. You have to break that spell, you have to be you and not his version of you, the one who he holds a power over. It sounds like you are having a bad time trying to get a hold back of your own life, but the fact that you know you have to do it is a start. You need to get yourself into the habit of saying no to him, and saying no to yourself when you really feel like responding to him. From what I can remember, you have a young daughter right ?? You should be putting more emphasis onto being the most important person in her life. And not just you being a small part of his. Good Luck Chuck...x
LovelyDaze Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Don't do it!! Why? Because if you do you can have yet another, heartbreaking painful experience like I did today. I just went NC, AGAIN, and was home this week recovering from minor surgery. The first two days the X called me, offered to bring me something, etc and I was strong and said, "thanks, but I'm good". The third day....well, being pretty bored, vulnerable and lonely by this point, I said OK to lunch. I got all ready, looked cute, he picked me up, we ate lunch, he was totally checked out and I swear to god as he put the last bite of food in his mouth, he just got up and was ready to drive me home. Didn't want to hang out for a minute, nothing. I was back at my house in my cute outfit, within an hour. Why did he even bother? I think he feels guilty about how he's treated me in the past and this way he can feel better about himself. He can say he did his "duty". The result? Once again I had unrealistic expectations about someone who has shown me otherwise repeatedly. How did I feel? Like ****. Like an idiot. Stupid. Like a desparate loser. I have vowed to myself before I break NC again, I will remind myself of this day. Although missing him is painful and sucks, the person I once knew and loved is gone. Sorry I kinda hijacked, but maybe you can learn from my mistake. Oh my goodness, that is horrible! I'm sure that Angel won't mind because it shows what horrors CAN happen if you break NC & give your ex what they wants the most....ego-brushing. As for yourself, phoenix1, you know never to break NC again for that idiot. No lunch dates, text responses, calls...nothing.
madrugada Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Angeldollface, all I can say is, go back to your first post, that list you wrote of everything he's put you through. Read that list. Every time you feel like talking to him, read that list. What you wrote, the way he's treated you, is something no one should have to put up with. He's an abuser. And he won't change. Sure, he'll lure you in with sweet talk. He'll tell you everything you want to hear. BUT He's a twisted individual, and he always will be. Cut him out of your life. Ignore him. Live your life for yourself. Ignore him. And please, keep posting. we're all here for you.
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