Author deux ex machina Posted January 26, 2010 Author Posted January 26, 2010 An amygdala hijack! That is the coolest excuse I've heard for erratic behaviour, EVER! I will use it often.. Haha. Just an update on the whole anger stage deal for those of you were sitting on the edge of your seats, awaiting the newest anger stage news - I know I was! Working through it...basically, it's all a getting into the Now thing, is the only way I have to put it. Not only for anger stage issues - it just helps everything, really. My therapist has been immensely helpful. It's still a new skill for me, so I have to consciously practice it at this point, but for a while now I have felt this exponential increase in mojo that's rather encouraging to say the least.
nobmagnet Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 angey helps me no end. I diected it at myself to beguin with but now i am just annoyed with him. Being angry and consentrating on his negitive points allows me to not miss him, be greatful that he has gone and I have the oppertunity to have a better life without him. To me anger has helped nobby xx
HeavenOrHell Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 No-one can tell you how long the anger stage lasts, depends how long you were together and all the circumstances surrounding your break up.
mickleb Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Haha. Just an update on the whole anger stage deal for those of you were sitting on the edge of your seats, awaiting the newest anger stage news - I know I was! Working through it...basically, it's all a getting into the Now thing, is the only way I have to put it. Not only for anger stage issues - it just helps everything, really. My therapist has been immensely helpful. It's still a new skill for me, so I have to consciously practice it at this point, but for a while now I have felt this exponential increase in mojo that's rather encouraging to say the least. How marvellous! Yeah, the living in the now thing is tough but SO healthy and proper worth it! Good for you - and thanks for the update - mon deux(!) x
Author deux ex machina Posted January 27, 2010 Author Posted January 27, 2010 angey helps me no end. I diected it at myself to beguin with but now i am just annoyed with him. Being angry and consentrating on his negitive points allows me to not miss him, be greatful that he has gone and I have the oppertunity to have a better life without him. To me anger has helped nobby xx It's a stage of grief, like every other - and I agree it has it's place. I am glad you understand that it can help you detach. Maybe that's why we go through it. My problem was a fear I had that it was so intense, and I really feared becoming bitter. But I shouldn't have been, I have faith neither one of us will be that way, it's something that's healthy in it's own way to go through.
Author deux ex machina Posted January 27, 2010 Author Posted January 27, 2010 No-one can tell you how long the anger stage lasts, depends how long you were together and all the circumstances surrounding your break up. You're right - that is what I learned. As long as we know it's something to go through, that a lot of us do, and that we'll get through it just fine - there is no need to worry. It ends when it will.
Author deux ex machina Posted January 27, 2010 Author Posted January 27, 2010 How marvellous! Yeah, the living in the now thing is tough but SO healthy and proper worth it! Good for you - and thanks for the update - mon deux(!) x Thanks! I love the whole concept, it helps loads. I heard of it before, of course, but never really practiced it. I thought I wouldn't have the patience. It's one of those things that is so simple it's easy to overlook, but it pays huge dividends.
freestyle Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 Hey DEM! Somehow i missed this thread until today. It's great to see that you're taking some positive steps towards healing your heart. I can relate to being uncomfortable with being angry. It's only in recent years that I've come to understand that it's okay to feel that way when i've been wronged. I'm slowly coming to see that it can even be empowering. (in reasonable doses.........) Like you, i've also been on the receiving end of narcissistic abuse recently, and looking back, armed with a deeper understanding and more knowledge, I realize that some of my earlier LTRs were with NPDs. Have you ever tried doing the primal scream? I know it sounds dated,but it does seem to help release the pent-up, helpless frustration. I'm just careful about doing it when i know my neighbors are at work, i don't want to freak them out too much........... By the way, did you read In Sheep's Clothing? I though that was you who mentioned that in the "What Are You Reading?" thread. I found a website by the author, if you're intersted, i can send you a link. Take care, dear.........FS:)
Author deux ex machina Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 Hey DEM! Somehow i missed this thread until today. It's great to see that you're taking some positive steps towards healing your heart. I can relate to being uncomfortable with being angry. It's only in recent years that I've come to understand that it's okay to feel that way when i've been wronged. I'm slowly coming to see that it can even be empowering. (in reasonable doses.........) Like you, i've also been on the receiving end of narcissistic abuse recently, and looking back, armed with a deeper understanding and more knowledge, I realize that some of my earlier LTRs were with NPDs. Have you ever tried doing the primal scream? I know it sounds dated,but it does seem to help release the pent-up, helpless frustration. I'm just careful about doing it when i know my neighbors are at work, i don't want to freak them out too much........... By the way, did you read In Sheep's Clothing? I though that was you who mentioned that in the "What Are You Reading?" thread. I found a website by the author, if you're intersted, i can send you a link. Take care, dear.........FS:) Thank you so much, FS. Check your PMs. I have a very soft, clear voice...my default volume is "Low", yet when I've screamed it can open up the earth and break glass! I think the neighbors would call 911, thinking someone got killed. Haha...I heard of these hotel rooms people can rent for mega dollars, then just go to town smashing the place up - I wonder if that would make one feel better or worse? I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling like anger is such an uncomfortable emotion to have. It's wonderful you are coming to see it's okay to feel that way when you've been wronged.
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