xyoungforeternityx Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Okay so I'll be quite blunt with all this otherwise it'll be a massive essay that goes on and on. Basically me and my boyfriend of 7 months split up a week ago because he admitted he wasnt over his ex and always thought they'd end up back together. (She ended their 3 year long distance relationship by text and refused to talk to him for 2 weeks afterwards!) This was always in the back of my mind but I never wanted to acknowledge it cos everything other than this was perfect. A few hours later he text me saying he doesnt know what to do because he feels that he could be ruining things with me and that he feels he could have something more with me. He said he thinks he needs some time to sort his head out and apologised for messing me around. I text him back saying I understand and that I know none of this was intentional and that although I wish we could have worked out, I hope he figures everything out. That was the last I expected to hear from him for a while. But the next day he text me asking how I was and telling me about his day at work, like he used to. This has made me confused as although I was upset and hurt, I had kind of prepared myself not to hear from him and then I do so the next day, so now I have all these hopes of getting back with him, and they might not even happen. I know I sound like a door mat but I really like him and if he was able to actually want to move on and get over his ex and be with me then I would accept that and help him through it. I just feel that I cant get this idea of a reconciliation out of my head and I know that if it doesnt happen, I'll be setting myself back even further into a load of pain and hurt. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. xxxx
0hpenelope Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Required reading authored by our very own Caliguy: Guide to Second Chances - http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t84894/ My short and to-the-point take on your situation: live in the now. You don't have him now. Thinking of the future where his presence isn't assured is not worth it. The only constant variable in your past, your present, and your future is yourself. I hope you'll think about yourself first, without consideration to an ex. He's not a present part of your life anymore. I just feel that I cant get this idea of a reconciliation out of my head and I know that if it doesnt happen, I'll be setting myself back even further into a load of pain and hurt. No one on this planet is worth that.
LovelyDaze Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 You said all of the things I would have told you myself. Don't be your ex's doormat. Him texting you as if you guys didn't have that epic of a conversation just tells me he is trying to keep you on the back burner until he figures out if he wants his ex-GF or you. NEITHER one of you are more special to him than the other. I am sorry but that is true. If he loved one or the other, then the decision would be simple. Don't listen to people who will tell you that love is "crazy" or "strange" No, love is simple. If you really love someone(romantically), you will not only want to be with them but you wouldn't drag their bleeding heart along back of a race car. Go NC. If he is serious about you, he will fight for you and LEAVE his ex-GF alone. If you keep letting him in, you will always be doing two horrible things: *Sharing him with another woman OR *Being the default girlfriend
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