Lakeside_runner Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 So here is a very short version of my situation right now: I'm in a relationship (relatively new - 3 months) with a wonderful girl (I know, it's the honeymoon phase etc. but let's assume we're reasonable for a moment). We're both in grad school (I'm going for a Ph.D. in math, she's going for a masters in social policy and a degree in law). I'm finishing up she'll be done in December 2010 or June 2011. She doesn't have any fixed career plans after she's done. I have been offered a job in CA (we live in MN) but I might get offers from some other places closer to MN (it's the academic job market...). I'll find out no later than in a month. So either way I'll have to leave MN in August and we'd be in a LDR at least from September to December or from September till June and actually she'd have to join me wherever I'd be (we're talking rather big major cities here - lots of opportunities for young lawyers etc.). She's not really into law and pursuing a career. We didn't talk about the whole thing (it's too early). Well, I'm starting falling for her and I keep getting these thoughts whether the whole situations makes sense or not. I wouldn't want to hurt her. It's not like I'm planning our future together - I just want to be reasonable about it. In August (at the time I'd have to move) we'd already be a year together and this is somehow a solid base for planing things together, I think. So - what are your thoughts?
OnlyJake Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 So you're going to be around until August at least? Relax! You have plenty of time to just enjoy each other and wait and see what happens in the meantime.
Vintage79 Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Agreed, just see what happens - she likely has a reasonable idea about what your situation is. If things are amazing by June/July, talk about things a bit at that time - it's a pretty heavy conversation, and it might still be a bit early in the relationship to talk about that. ~1 year in, though, it's a different ballgame. If she finishes in December, the LDR should be pretty easy, as she'll have to crunch through the end of her program and you'll be getting use to a new job. Basically, come back here in six months. In the mean time, have a blast!
OceanTropic Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 (edited) I think you should tell her the situation now. There is nothing worse than falling for someone, and then having to move so far from them. If she isn't as serious about you as you are with her, she might break it off, and that would be good for you, less heartbreak. I guess just see how she reacts, and you will know what to do from there. Just bring it up casually (dont be too serious, that will scare her off) and just say "Ohh mann Im gonna have to move to some big city soon!! Only a year!!" and see how she responds. Let me know how things go Edited January 7, 2010 by OceanTropic
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