kiss_andmakeup Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 I concur with everyone else...your ex is definitely not the norm. In fact I think quite the opposite. I am 22 and just out of school, at the very start of my career. I am basically an "intern" of sorts right now; gaining education and experience but making very very little money (less than minimum wage when you divide it by the hours I put in). My boyfriend is 33 and, while not rich or well off by any stretch of the imagination, he does make a salary that allows him to cover his basic expenses and save a little. No, of course he doesn't take me on vacations or to fancy restaurants, because we can't afford it. But he doesn't expect me to pull the same weight financially. For example, last summer he asked me if I'd like to move in to his apartment so that we could spend more time together, and I said I really couldn't afford to (I was living with my parents at the time). His explanation was "well I'm going to be paying the same rent without you there...and I would be happier with you being there." He asks me frequently before I leave for work if I need money for lunch or gas, which I think is sweet, but I try to turn it down as often as possible. However my point is I think that men (and especially men who date younger women) enjoy being a "provider" and "caretaker" of sorts. Am I saying it's his job to take care of me? No, but he likes to. I just say it's a trade-off for me taking care of him when I'm 60 and still able-bodied and he's 71 and turning senile. ;p
CaliGuy Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 He asks me frequently before I leave for work if I need money for lunch or gas, which I think is sweet, but I try to turn it down as often as possible. However my point is I think that men (and especially men who date younger women) enjoy being a "provider" and "caretaker" of sorts. Am I saying it's his job to take care of me? No, but he likes to. Providers yes, like hunters. The MEN of the house. Caretakers/Dads, etc -- no, definitely not.
Woggle Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Younger women are easier to control and if a man is not somewhat controlling a woman she will eventually turn on him.
Awesome Username Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Of course he shouldn't expect you to be as well off if you are younger and just out of college - that goes with the territory. When he starts making jokes about how expensive you are, start making jokes about how old he is. Hahaha!
Awesome Username Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Younger women are easier to control and if a man is not somewhat controlling a woman she will eventually turn on him. Or, she will leave if she doesn't feel *cared for.* The former situation is abusive, and usually happens when there are daddy issues involved (which in a lot of cases, there are).
Woggle Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Or, she will leave if she doesn't feel *cared for.* The former situation is abusive, and usually happens when there are daddy issues involved (which in a lot of cases, there are). All relationships that last are usually abusive in some way.
CaliGuy Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 All relationships that last are usually abusive in some way. Not in my world....
FindingE Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Younger women are easier to control and if a man is not somewhat controlling a woman she will eventually turn on him. As much as I don't want to, I have to agree with this. I also say, it can be vice versa though. Relationships are never equal, the best relationships I have been are about 65/35 tipping one way or the other, I have been in both. The ones that have been closest to 50/50 - boring. The ones that are greater than those percentages control-wise? To far out of control and completely unhealthy.
Woggle Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 As much as I don't want to, I have to agree with this. I also say, it can be vice versa though. Relationships are never equal, the best relationships I have been are about 65/35 tipping one way or the other, I have been in both. The ones that have been closest to 50/50 - boring. The ones that are greater than those percentages control-wise? To far out of control and completely unhealthy. At least you are honest about it. There are very women who truly know how to have a happy and lasting equal relationship sp men just go for the women easier to control. Women their age are usually ballbusters who will treat a man like a doormat and lose all respect for him.
flc Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 In my 50s and have dated some women in their 30s and actually one in her 20s. There is no way that I would expect someone with 10-20 years less experience to be on the same financial level that would be pretty silly. Generally I find the bigger issues when dating age difference gets greater than 10 years is the lack of shared experiences and being on the same page as to what your outside of work interests are.
b52s Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 As much as I don't want to, I have to agree with this. I also say, it can be vice versa though. Relationships are never equal, the best relationships I have been are about 65/35 tipping one way or the other, I have been in both. The ones that have been closest to 50/50 - boring. The ones that are greater than those percentages control-wise? To far out of control and completely unhealthy. LOL...yaeh, say if I'm working as a school teacher making 30K a year...and then I date a 22 year old TGI Fridays waitress, and makes less than min. wage....I could buy her anything and keep herh appy. No mink coats or diamonds, just some candy or something. LOL Also, I would think younger women don't care if you haven't sexually satisfied them.
SoulSearch_CO Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Younger women are easier to control and if a man is not somewhat controlling a woman she will eventually turn on him. WTF? All relationships that last are usually abusive in some way. Disagree with this, too. Woggle, you need therapy. To get over your past hurts. They are ****ing up your brain too much. At least you are honest about it. There are very women who truly know how to have a happy and lasting equal relationship sp men just go for the women easier to control. Women their age are usually ballbusters who will treat a man like a doormat and lose all respect for him. If he ALLOWS himself to be treated like a doormat, then yes - all respect gone. I was 15 years younger than my XH and got tired of watching him let EVERYBODY wipe their feet on him. So you see? Women of all ages can see it and be repulsed by it. Just cause I was younger didn't make me stupid. Also, I would think younger women don't care if you haven't sexually satisfied them. If a woman is so unaware of her own body, then this might be true. HOWEVER - she'll eventually get fed up with that. When you say "younger women" do you just mean relative to the man? Or in a certain age group (early 20's, for instance)?
OceanTropic Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 Younger women are easier to control and if a man is not somewhat controlling a woman she will eventually turn on him. Ummm what?? I loved my ex to death, and its BECAUSE he turned into a controlling and manipulative man that I left him.
CaliGuy Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 (edited) Ummm what?? I loved my ex to death, and its BECAUSE he turned into a controlling and manipulative man that I left him. A lot of men simply think that being dominate makes them a man. Nothing could be further from the truth. It's about being balanced. Putting your foot down when you should and admitting you're wrong when you should. It's really that simple. Edited January 9, 2010 by CaliGuy
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