soconfusing Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Met this guy over the holidays in another state that I was visiting. I told him I was only there for a couple days and he said he understood so I assumed it would just be a fun little fling. I thought he was really fun to be with and had I lived there, I'm sure I would still be dating him now. BUT, it's been several weeks and he still texts and calls me hoping for some kind of relationship. Over the last several days, I have been telling him that I can not handle a long distance relationship and that's just the way it was. He is still telling me that he will not give up and thinks I'm special and doesn't care what I say. One of my friends told me to just ignore his calls and texts. But I'm not that kind of person to just do that. But I don't know, is that what I need to do here?
Vintage79 Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Yes, you need to ignore him. You're still giving him attention, so he keeps seeking it out. The best way to end these situations is to drop contact entirely. It's the only way I've been able to get rid of some women, and I think women have tried it to me. I know I have never bugged some one after getting 2-3 no responses (usually 2).
CoffeeShopGirl Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 That's a hard one. I would tell him exactly what you've been telling him: that you don't want a long distance relationship and that you will always hold a special place for him....bla, bla, bla. Then tell him up front that you are not going to respond to his calls or texts anymore because you would like to move on. You will need to actually follow through with this for it to work!
xbluudevilx Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 take your friends advice. ignore it. :thumbsup:
Vintage79 Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 I like the idea telling him you're going to cut contact. A lot of times, there's the what the heck happened thing going on in the guys head after he doesn't hear from her 1-2 times...this solves that problem, and is definitely a nicer, more friendly solution.
O'Malley Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 You're not obligated to provide lengthy excuses to anyone who negates your feelings. If you won't cut him off completely without some explanation, during his next contact, be clear but brief that there is no possibility of a relationship, that you are moving on and expect him to do the same by ceasing contact with you. After that, complete silence on your end.
alphamale Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 BUT, it's been several weeks and he still texts and calls me hoping for some kind of relationship. yes i know how you feel....its not unlike a form of terrorism
boogieboy Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Tell him you DONT want a relationship with him, you never will, and if he keeps calling you will ignore him from now on, and then ignore him. That way, at least you made a CLEAR message for him to leave you alone, and you dont have to feel guilty about ignoring him.
Author soconfusing Posted January 7, 2010 Author Posted January 7, 2010 Tell him you DONT want a relationship with him, you never will, and if he keeps calling you will ignore him from now on, and then ignore him. That way, at least you made a CLEAR message for him to leave you alone, and you dont have to feel guilty about ignoring him. I think it's a little too late for that route. I kinda told him (hoping he'd leave it alone) that if he lived up where I did, then maybe it could work. But since he didn't, it WON'T work. I honestly think that as I'm typing this he's figuring out how to move up here... it just sucks because of how serious he's been getting about this.
sparkle Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Tell him firmly that you want him to leave you alone and to stop calling. If he calls again, have a male friend answer and say that he's just gotten this new number and that the caller must have the wrong number. Stalkers are no fun!
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