Castillo Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Hi, I'm new here. I've been reading the posts on here with a lot of interest for a couple of days. I'd like to bring a new perspective to this thread. I'm a single guy, but I've been involved with several OW who have a MM - some I have known about the MM others I have not. Should you tell the single guy about the married man? If yes, at what stage do you think you should tell him? If no, why do you think he doesn't need to know? I'm not here to chastise people, just like some answers for myself. Steve.
OWoman Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Hi, I'm new here. I've been reading the posts on here with a lot of interest for a couple of days. I'd like to bring a new perspective to this thread. I'm a single guy, but I've been involved with several OW who have a MM - some I have known about the MM others I have not. Should you tell the single guy about the married man? If yes, at what stage do you think you should tell him? If no, why do you think he doesn't need to know? I'm not here to chastise people, just like some answers for myself. Steve. I suppose ANYBODY who has a SO or another lover / FWB / BS ought to tell any new lover that they have "someone else" so that that person can make up their mind whether they want t be involved under those conditions, or not. I've always been upfront with my lovers that they're not the only one/s, whether they are SGs or MMs or whatever - not only because I feel they have a right to know where they stand, but because it helps draw the boundaries so that they don't feel they have a right or a claim on more time, attention or investment than I've stated I'm willing to offer. Though I've found that even after being told they're one of many, most SGs still get all clingy and want to be The One, however often you tell them that's not on the agenda....
Author Castillo Posted January 9, 2010 Author Posted January 9, 2010 Thanks OWoman for taking the time to comment and I agree with what you are saying. I've found that it's been the other way around with me. I've been involved with 2 OW who have told me about the MM. Knowing this mentally prepared me not to get emotionally involved, but I found that the OW were getting emotionally involved with me -and that was something I was not comfortable with. My sister had an A with a MM for 9 years. She never had the strength to leave him and be single. In the latter part of the A she started dating other men to try and fine "The One" to take her away from him, but she never told any of the guys she was with a MM. She dated her current BF of 11 years with the MM for the first 2 years of the relationship before she fell in love with current BF and had the strength to leave the MM. Her BF doesn't know any of this and if he ever found out he would go mental - it would definately be the end of the relationship. However he will never find that out as it was all so long ago now. One girl I dated was seeing a MM and she didn't tell me about it. The relationship was really weird where she would blow hot and cold - I couldn't figure out what was going on. I fell really hard for her. It's been 3 years now since we saw each other, but I still think of her often with very mixed feelings. I never got any answers from her about things and I guess it's the lack of closure that keeps these thoughts alive.
dazzle22 Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 What is it about u that all these "otherwise involved" women end up dating u?
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