Vintage79 Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 No, never settled, not even really for a short term fling. If it's expected to be short term, I suppose I let some things slide a bit more, like intelligence, and I put a bit more weight in appearance, but I don't really count that as compromising, it's more like a reorganization of priorities given the intended results. Compromising would be saying I don't want anything less than this, and the you take something less. Compromising either says you don't know yourself well (as you overstated your requirements) or you're desperate. The prior isn't necessarily bad, the latter, well, that's not going to make anyone happy.
stevejohnson1976 Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 id rather be alone for settle. if im not sexually attracted to a women, no sense being with her. id expect the same from my partner. if im not sexually attractive to her, then whats the point?
CaliGuy Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 If I did, I wouldn't still be single and never married
Yamaha Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 When you say settle are you referring to a less attractive mate than we think we can get or do you settle because your tired of looking for mr/mrs right and just go with your best option?
burning 4 revenge Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Dealbreakers . Is under 21 or over 28 . Is overweight . Is underweight . Doesnt have a round sexy apple bottom . Has a belly . Hasnt been to college . Has more college than me . Thinks shes smarter than me . Has bad teeth . Has normal teeth . Doesnt have perfectly straight, white teeth . Has red hair . Has blonde hair . Doesnt have brown or black hair . Has a bad haircut . Has visible tatoos . Has small eyes . Has dated anyone named Andre, Tyrone or Shorty . Has no morals . Is too religious . Is Protestant . Is Muslim . Is atheist . Is anythig other than Roman Catholic or Jewish . Doesnt like anal sex . Cannot squirt . Doesnt have a sexy voice . Is a vegan Ill list more when I can think of them
meerkat stew Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 (edited) Almost all men settle. Men display, women choose. In one sense, the question is meaningless, but of course there are men who will continue to display until he finds an ideal. These are rare outliers. Men generally settle for whatever women accept him. If a man displays for ten women, and three are receptive, he will generally settle for one of those three as opposed to continuing to display. This is why when men complain about dating, and are told to examine their selection process, it doesn't really make sense. Edited January 7, 2010 by meerkat stew
CaliGuy Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Almost all men settle. Men display, women choose. In one sense, the question is meaningless, but of course there are men who will continue to display until he finds an ideal. These are rare outliers. Men generally settle for whatever women accept him. If a man displays for ten women, and three are receptive, he will generally settle for one of those three as opposed to continuing to display. This is why when men complain about dating, and are told to examine their selection process, it doesn't really make sense. That's pretty much a fact. Women get all the choices it appears but men can also say no (In fact I just said no the other day, lol). I find it's when I am NOT displaying that they approach me (in other words, just being happy and living my life). But yeah, in the long run women have the upper hand. Unless of course you're extremely rich
Vintage79 Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Almost all men settle. Men display, women choose. In one sense, the question is meaningless, but of course there are men who will continue to display until he finds an ideal. These are rare outliers. Men generally settle for whatever women accept him. If a man displays for ten women, and three are receptive, he will generally settle for one of those three as opposed to continuing to display. This is why when men complain about dating, and are told to examine their selection process, it doesn't really make sense. Wow. This certainly doesn't apply to me. Settling is a bad idea - just makes you bitter, want to cheat (as clearly think better things exist), and speaks towards your low self esteem (as presumably you feel that you can't get what you're interested in). I can't imagine some one would be terribly happy in that situation. I know a lot of guys who are beyond happy in their relationships, so it's hard for me to really believe that this is true...although, I'm sure there are enough guys who fall into this group...they're what I call losers.
skydiveaddict Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 If I did, I wouldn't still be single and never married My thoughts exactly.
AD1980 Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 When you say settle are you referring to a less attractive mate than we think we can get or do you settle because your tired of looking for mr/mrs right and just go with your best option? I get the feeling when women say settle they mean looks but i could be wrong To me settling is being with somebody you like but dont love becasue your afraid of being alone not beign with someobdy whos a 6 instead of a 7..
shadowplay Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Dealbreakers . Is under 21 or over 28 . Is overweight . Is underweight . Doesnt have a round sexy apple bottom . Has a belly . Hasnt been to college . Has more college than me . Thinks shes smarter than me . Has bad teeth . Has normal teeth . Doesnt have perfectly straight, white teeth . Has red hair . Has blonde hair . Doesnt have brown or black hair . Has a bad haircut . Has visible tatoos . Has small eyes . Has dated anyone named Andre, Tyrone or Shorty . Has no morals . Is too religious . Is Protestant . Is Muslim . Is atheist . Is anythig other than Roman Catholic or Jewish . Doesnt like anal sex . Cannot squirt . Doesnt have a sexy voice . Is a vegan Ill list more when I can think of them Lol. A lot of these make no sense and contradict each other. Has normal teeth?
meerkat stew Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Wow. This certainly doesn't apply to me. Settling is a bad idea - just makes you bitter, want to cheat (as clearly think better things exist), and speaks towards your low self esteem (as presumably you feel that you can't get what you're interested in). I can't imagine some one would be terribly happy in that situation. I know a lot of guys who are beyond happy in their relationships, so it's hard for me to really believe that this is true...although, I'm sure there are enough guys who fall into this group...they're what I call losers. You couldn't have misinterpreted my post more thoroughly. It's simple biological/cultural fact, the reality of male dating, and recall, if you actually read the whole post, that I described ten approaches, not automatically settling for the first unattractive woman who gives you the time of day. Rather than typing it all out, I assumed people would exhibit minimal comprehension in that the ten women approached already met the man's basic parameters, just weren't all representative of his complete ideal in a woman. "Losers" are either a) men who don't make any displays, expect women to fall into their laps, and become bitter when they don't, or b) men who end up alone because they have unrealistic expectations given their own market value in the dating market. Men who make ten displays and settle for one of the women who accepts their advances are definitely not "losers," just normal men.
Ruby Slippers Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 I assumed people would exhibit minimal comprehension A risky assumption on LS.
carhill Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Well, there's something to 'settling down' Every decision in life comes with some risk. In retrospect, was it 'settling'? Perhaps, but it didn't feel that way at the time. One variable of an infinite number.
Vintage79 Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Rather than typing it all out, I assumed people would exhibit minimal comprehension in that the ten women approached already met the man's basic parameters, just weren't all representative of his complete ideal in a woman. \QUOTE] The problem with your assumption was that it was made in the context of a thread talking about settling for women. If your more detailed description, if the guy approached women that met all his standards and he ended up getting 3, is that really settling. Of course, much like you, I would have thought that there would have been some minimal comprehension in the context of the posting, but as the following poster said - it's a risky assumption on LS. Sorry, I don't really mean to be rude, but your comment was a bit brash, in particular since you made a highly questionable assumption...but no hard feelings.
skydiveaddict Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 (edited) Dealbreakers . Is under 21 or over 28 . Is overweight . Is underweight . Doesnt have a round sexy apple bottom . Has a belly . Hasnt been to college . Has more college than me . Thinks shes smarter than me . Has bad teeth . Has normal teeth . Doesnt have perfectly straight, white teeth . Has red hair . Has blonde hair . Doesnt have brown or black hair . Has a bad haircut . Has visible tatoos . Has small eyes . Has dated anyone named Andre, Tyrone or Shorty . Has no morals . Is too religious . Is Protestant . Is Muslim . Is atheist . Is anythig other than Roman Catholic or Jewish . Doesnt like anal sex . Cannot squirt . Doesnt have a sexy voice . Is a vegan Ill list more when I can think of them is taller than me refuses to do what i say is not totally hot looking is ugly is one of those girls who holds the stop signs on road construction projects does construction work of any kind is a truck driver is not wild in the bedroom is too wild in the bedroom tries to tell me what to do tries to 'dress" me will not put out after the 2nd date will not use dental floss wears conservative, ugly underwear will not get breast implants if i tell her she needs them buys me an electric shaver for christmas buys me any kind appliance for christmas chews tabacco will not do oral trys to take me shopping tells me i watch too much football tells me she doesn't want me skydiving anymore if she belches if she complains when i belch tries to make me watch movies like "sleepless in seattle" tries to make me watch any kind of movie tries to send me to the store to rent a movie tries to send me to the store for anything tries to make me do anything, actually will not go to the store for me when i need some thing Edited January 7, 2010 by skydiveaddict
meerkat stew Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 The problem with your assumption was that it was made in the context of a thread talking about settling for women. If your more detailed description, if the guy approached women that met all his standards and he ended up getting 3, is that really settling. My position is clear from prior posts in the thread. If you don't like brash statements, consider lightening up on asserting that a broad swath of ordinary men, who plainly settle for one of the women who accepts their advances, rather than continuing to search for an ideal, are in fact "losers."
Sam Spade Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Almost all men settle. Men display, women choose. In one sense, the question is meaningless, but of course there are men who will continue to display until he finds an ideal. These are rare outliers. Men generally settle for whatever women accept him. If a man displays for ten women, and three are receptive, he will generally settle for one of those three as opposed to continuing to display. This is why when men complain about dating, and are told to examine their selection process, it doesn't really make sense. That's pretty much it. I don't even thin that the concept of "settling" is relevant to men. All that counts for most men is 1) is she pretty? (pretty enough to be consistently sexually attractive) and 2) does she display good attitude/values/character. That's pretty much it. Since no sane guy would be with a girl he is not attracted to or who does not treat him reasonably well, then no - I don't think that most men "settle", at least not in the horrifying (for females ) sense of the word.
burning 4 revenge Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 That's pretty much it. I don't even thin that the concept of "settling" is relevant to men. All that counts for most men is 1) is she pretty? (pretty enough to be consistently sexually attractive) and 2) does she display good attitude/values/character. That's pretty much it. Since no sane guy would be with a girl he is not attracted to or who does not treat him reasonably well, then no - I don't think that most men "settle", at least not in the horrifying (for females ) sense of the word. Pfft... Why drive a Volkswagon when I want a Benz....
Sam Spade Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Pfft... Why drive a Volkswagon when I want a Benz.... Because while you're starving to save up for your Benz I'm having loads of fun with my VW, revving it, going on day trips, and driving it like a mad man all over the southwest Marginal costs increase disproportionately faster than the marginal benefits.
e.clipse Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Dealbreakers . Has normal teeth . Is anythig other than Roman Catholic or Jewish . Doesnt have a sexy voice aww, man! i was so close. if it weren't for the above three, i'd be a perfect fit.
burning 4 revenge Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 aww, man! i was so close. if it weren't for the above three, i'd be a perfect fit. Well Im sure youll find your match but Im not going to apologize for having standards
threebyfate Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Lol. A lot of these make no sense and contradict each other. Has normal teeth?He's jacking wit' me and any other list makers!
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