LovieDove24 Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Ok so I have posted on my current bf before. In fact last night I posted in the breaking up forum about kind of wanting to dump him. We talked on the phone last night though and had a lovely conversation in which most issues were resolved. However, since he has noticed my distance the past couple weeks he has been on a constant clingy pursuit, blech. Its like, I need space now more than ever and IVE TOLD HIM THAT. But he needs reassurance now more than ever so I just don't know what to do. He has texted me five times this morning, put two posts on my facebook wall and all I keep thinking is I want him to play a little hard to get so it feels less serious, and I feel less smothered. I want to miss him and then want to reach out if that makes sense. But he can't quite seem to give me the chance. Any advice?
xbluudevilx Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 i guess last resort is to delete him off your social network and change your number?
McGrupp Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 tell him to post on here. or to read many threads on this subject. i was that same guy and i wish i had just let her be when she said certain things (your smothering me , give me time) you see us guys just think your cheating when you say that. but hell learn when you dump him...
bananaboat11 Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 tell him to post on here. or to read many threads on this subject. i was that same guy and i wish i had just let her be when she said certain things (your smothering me , give me time) you see us guys just think your cheating when you say that. but hell learn when you dump him... ^-^ instinctive reaction. Most of us guys go through it... (the good ones, at least). When my ex said that to me.. I thought she was ****ing some new guy. Ate away at my brain
bberryguy Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Tell him straight up want you want. That you want space to pursue him. That it's not that you don't love/like him but that you want it to feel more fun and light right now. It's not fair to want something from him but not be clear and straightforward. He may be at a different pace than you or farther along then you. That's okay just tell him what you want and you can figure it out together. I just lost my gf over similar issues. I wasn't quite as clingy, but I went with the flow of things and we wound up spending a lot of time together when she was probably only read for 2 to 3 times a week. No she feels like its too serious and too much to handle right now and broke it off. Be clear and communicate exactly what you posted.
Heartbrokenandinlove Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 3 Words: HONESTY OPEN COMMUNICATION Then after that everything that's meant to be will be...
Author LovieDove24 Posted January 7, 2010 Author Posted January 7, 2010 Thanks guys, you are right. What I want is the space and freedom to pursue him and I have not specifically told him that. When we talked last night I told him texting is ok once in awhile but lets not overdo it. I don't think I was clear on my intentions when I told him this though. I'll have another discussion with him tonight. And I can understand why a guy would think this means a girl is cheating on him. Heck, that seems the logical instinct but in my case, it is not the case.
CaliGuy Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Ok so I have posted on my current bf before. In fact last night I posted in the breaking up forum about kind of wanting to dump him. We talked on the phone last night though and had a lovely conversation in which most issues were resolved. However, since he has noticed my distance the past couple weeks he has been on a constant clingy pursuit, blech. Its like, I need space now more than ever and IVE TOLD HIM THAT. But he needs reassurance now more than ever so I just don't know what to do. He has texted me five times this morning, put two posts on my facebook wall and all I keep thinking is I want him to play a little hard to get so it feels less serious, and I feel less smothered. I want to miss him and then want to reach out if that makes sense. But he can't quite seem to give me the chance. Any advice? Show him some tough love. Resist the urge to answer his every whim. He needs to learn to be confident in himself and he isn't going to find it if you cater to him. If this is the kind of behavior you can expect NOW, it will only get worse in the future. You do need to re-evaluate the relationship. Stick to your guns and take as much space as you need. If he won't respect your needs now, he won't later. Like I said, show him some tough love.
LovelyDaze Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Thanks guys, you are right. What I want is the space and freedom to pursue him and I have not specifically told him that. When we talked last night I told him texting is ok once in awhile but lets not overdo it. I don't think I was clear on my intentions when I told him this though. I'll have another discussion with him tonight. And I can understand why a guy would think this means a girl is cheating on him. Heck, that seems the logical instinct but in my case, it is not the case. Wow,JUST five times with the texting? When my ex and I were working together at our job, it was a running joke to count how many times his new fiance' would text. Usually a good 30-40 in an 8 hr period! No kidding. Don't get ulcers like my ex did, tell your BF that you need some real time to yourself and if necessary a split if he can't even give you that.
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