Big Problem with Fetish

[Des]

i've spoken to enough people to know that it is in fact quite a normal fantasy.

 

I think you've spoken to the right people, in order to draw that conclusion. If I created a poll here or any other public place for that matter, you're telling me the result would resoundingly be that most people want to be peed on? I have my doubts.

 

I dont think she should be afraid of being honest.

 

Unfortunately in this case, I think she should. She should know better than to think something like this is seen as anything but disgusting and repulsive to many, and it isn't something she should just bring up in conversation. Some fantasies are better kept fantasies, and I think common sense should tell us which ones.

 

if its not, then no harm done by telling.

 

Except for the extreme awkward silence afterwards, and the whole not seeing her as the person he thought she was part... and possibly wanting to leave her now.

 

You're comparing screwing animals and peeing on humans, here. One is clearly far less acceptable than the other, for a variety of reasons along the moral, ethical (and legal, haha) spectrum.

 

Really? One is less acceptable? There is nothing particularly moral or ethical about either.

 

This is the problem....Where do you draw the line?

 

Perhaps you should take your own natural reaction as a indication of where you draw the line. I think you'd be about on the same level as most in this case. Don't let anyone tell you that the lawn is drawn after urophagia, necrophagia, bestiality or pedophilia... when something just naturally feels that wrong and repulsive to you, that's where you draw it.

[Lizzie60]

There are two issues here for me:

 

1) What else is there that I need to know about? Should I try and find out sooner than later before making any more of an investment in her?

 

2) Is she now going to be completely closed off from me, which will make me do the same and we will be going down a different path to the same destination....

 

 

If she did dump me for this, I wouldn't even sweat it. I'm so numb to pain these days....

 

Good.. because I feel this is exactly what will happen in the very near future...

[Vertex]

I think you've spoken to the right people, in order to draw that conclusion. If I created a poll here or any other public place for that matter, you're telling me the result would resoundingly be that most people want to be peed on? I have my doubts.

 

 

 

Unfortunately in this case, I think she should. She should know better than to think something like this is seen as anything but disgusting and repulsive to many, and it isn't something she should just bring up in conversation. Some fantasies are better kept fantasies, and I think common sense should tell us which ones.

 

 

 

Except for the extreme awkward silence afterwards, and the whole not seeing her as the person he thought she was part... and possibly wanting to leave her now.

 

 

 

Really? One is less acceptable? There is nothing particularly moral or ethical about either.

 

 

 

Perhaps you should take your own natural reaction as a indication of where you draw the line. I think you'd be about on the same level as most in this case. Don't let anyone tell you that the lawn is drawn after urophagia, necrophagia, bestiality or pedophilia... when something just naturally feels that wrong and repulsive to you, that's where you draw it.

 

Nobody here is saying that it's something a majority of people are into, but it's not something so abnormal that it deserves skepticism of insanity. It's fairly common as a "minority" activity.

 

Trying to place blame on her for "coming out with such a repulsive fantasy" is very closeminded, to me. Fantasies are fantasies for a reason. They're often very finely-tuned, erratic, eccentric desires that may deviate from a perceived social norm. Hence, FANTASY. A fantasy is really more of a commonplace sexual desire if it's something that is often performed or considered mainstream, imo. Rebuffing someone for opening up and sharing a fantasy that is honestly not that out-of-the-ordinary is only going to tighten down communication, which is a shame if everything else in the relationship is great. The OP is fixating way too hard on this and assuming it's indicative of some other weird personality issue, which is likely untrue. It's not like they're otherwise sexually incompatible.

 

If something is naturally repulsive to you, you're entitled to your opinion. If you think someone's crazy, that's your opinion too. But some opinions are obviously misguided or uninformed -- it all comes down to personal preference in the end, but I could just as easily say that his fixation on something that is not so abnormal may be more of a direct "psych issue" than the issue itself!

[DustySaltus]

Dusty.. you are making wayyyyyyyy more out of this than you should be.

 

I think they call this shooting yourself in the foot

 

You are basically at the beginnings of ruining a budding relationship over your inability to accept that someone has a fetish and a preference unlike yours.

 

The people who believe she has underlying issues because she wants to be peed on are just way off base..

It isn't like she is asking you to shiot on her while she eats it.. PEE is STERILE.

It also can be used as a drink to sustain life if you ever have to go without water in the desert ( I saw that on TV )

 

If you cannot accept her for who she is then you need to let her go.. let her go find a man that can...

 

I personally feel you owe her a huge apology for re-acting instead of acting when presented with her preference...

I also agree that you should not get her to open up about it.. you just need to apologize over the way you judged her and let it go..

 

I already apologized to her about how I said it. She wants me to come over on Saturday to make me dinner. I think that I could get things back on track without a problem. You're right, if I continue to bring it up it would just stunt the growth process.

 

I'm taking the weekend to see whether or not I can accept this. There is a lot about her I like as well. I'm just going to go with the flow....wait a second, that's probably not a good way to describe it....lol.

[DustySaltus]

Not that I endorse drinking pee but...

 

Here is an interesting Wiki Article on Urine Therapy..

It seems for thousands of years now drinking urine has been considered a therapy and has healing powers..

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urine_therapy

 

When I need to brush my teeth I use toothpaste.

 

When I need to wash myself, I use soap.

 

I know we're in a down economy but there are certain corners I just won't cut.

[Vertex]

When I need to brush my teeth I use toothpaste.

 

When I need to wash myself, I use soap.

 

I know we're in a down economy but there are certain corners I just won't cut.

 

This post made me laugh out loud, haha!

[CLC2008]

Hey OP, think of it this way. If you ever get stung by a jelly fish, you know who to call.

[DustySaltus]

Good.. because I feel this is exactly what will happen in the very near future...

 

So you're saying that you think the ship is already in the process of sinking?

[Vertex]

So you're saying that you think the ship is already in the process of sinking?

 

Statistically, one point doesn't equal a trend.

 

Unless you find more "quirks" or personality facets that turn you off, what's the harm?

[Lizzie60]

So you're saying that you think the ship is already in the process of sinking?

 

Maybe... she must be wondering if she should end it.. since you're not as open-minded as she thought you were.. but then if you're irrestible.. she could give you another chance..

[Malenfant]

I think you've spoken to the right people, in order to draw that conclusion. If I created a poll here or any other public place for that matter, you're telling me the result would resoundingly be that most people want to be peed on? I have my doubts.

I never said most people. Why dont you google it and see how many people are into it?

Its comparable in popularity to foot fetishes for example.

 

Unfortunately in this case, I think she should. She should know better than to think something like this is seen as anything but disgusting and repulsive to many, and it isn't something she should just bring up in conversation. Some fantasies are better kept fantasies, and I think common sense should tell us which ones.

They had a conversation about it, she told him. big deal. Imagine if no-one ever said anything they thought they might be judged for.

would it be better if everyone kept anything even slightly iffy to themselves? better that we all lie to each other about what we truely want?

 

Except for the extreme awkward silence afterwards, and the whole not seeing her as the person he thought she was part... and possibly wanting to leave her now.

you mis-quoted me, i said that if he was into it then it wasnt a big deal.

 

Really? One is less acceptable? There is nothing particularly moral or ethical about either.

since when do sexual tendancies have to be moral or ethical? actually severe morality and ethics breed opposing sexual tendancies. Use the Victorians for example. Very straight laced in public but that fuelled unusual sexual tendancies even more because sex wasnt spoken about. people dont choose what turns them on. blimey

[Ms. Joolie]

100 years ago perhaps there was a discussion about a Big Problem with the fetish of a woman who liked sperm ejaculated on her face.

 

Today... that practice is not so abnormal. Today the fetish that is abnormal is that of a 'golden shower'.

 

Have we advanced sexually or declined?

 

Who knows really.

[DustySaltus]

Maybe... she must be wondering if she should end it.. since you're not as open-minded as she thought you were.. but then if you're irrestible.. she could give you another chance..

 

I want her to be able to be open with me and I'm sure the way I reacted will make her think twice about it in the future. So I have some work to do if I want to build that comfort level back. But i'm sure that if that's what I want, we can get back there no problem.

[Lizzie60]

I want her to be able to be open with me and I'm sure the way I reacted will make her think twice about it in the future. So I have some work to do if I want to build that comfort level back. But i'm sure that if that's what I want, we can get back there no problem.

 

Can you blame her?

 

Yes, you might have work to do to build that comfort level back... for sure. but who knows.. she could be worth every apologies..

[Des]

There are two issues here for me:

 

1) What else is there that I need to know about? Should I try and find out sooner than later before making any more of an investment in her?

 

2) Is she now going to be completely closed off from me, which will make me do the same and we will be going down a different path to the same destination....

 

 

If she did dump me for this, I wouldn't even sweat it. I'm so numb to pain these days....

 

Dusty, from my perspective, I wouldn't see it working out. I don't think you want to delve any deeper into it than what you already know. A lot of people on this board tend to dismiss things like this as not being an issue, but I think in terms of the real world, it is. Many forms of strange sexual deviant desire can be linked to deeper rooted problems, and it's not just a matter of wanting to be different or hip that gets people off to strange things. She's probably capable of weirding you out further if she were to open up more about it.

 

Personally, I don't get all this talk about her dumping you. If I were you, I'd be already be gone. This is a compatibility issue, and quite a serious one. I can understand a slightly awkward sexual fetish clashing... but people here are playing the extent of this one way down while accusing you of overreacting, which I find quite outrageous. You have to take everything you read on the Internet with a grain of salt, even this post I suppose. The truth is no one in the real world would suggest you're the odd one for your reaction, nor would they suggest urophagia is common, it's only common when you anonymously posting about it and it happens to be a deep, dark secret of yours.

 

You are basically at the beginnings of ruining a budding relationship over your inability to accept that someone has a fetish and a preference unlike yours.

 

It's more than a typical case of this. She likes to be peed on, and basically offered for him to be the one to do it, while he finds that completely revolting and worries about her psychological state. This one is a bit more off than usual, and you people know it.

 

The people who believe she has underlying issues because she wants to be peed on are just way off base..

It isn't like she is asking you to shiot on her while she eats it.. PEE is STERILE.

 

For all he knows, maybe she does? But she's not going to tell him now.

 

I personally feel you owe her a huge apology for re-acting instead of acting when presented with her preference...

 

That's ridiculous.

 

 

it's not something so abnormal that it deserves skepticism of insanity.

 

Obviously, that's debatable.

 

Fantasies are fantasies for a reason.

 

... and all I'm saying is the ones that people look up on the Internet for shock value and to see if they can watch it without dry-heaving should probably be the ones we think twice about telling people, perhaps they should remain a fantasy.

 

The OP is fixating way too hard on this and assuming it's indicative of some other weird personality issue, which is likely untrue. It's not like they're otherwise sexually incompatible.

 

You're just assuming it's untrue. What's so hard to believe about that kind of thought process? There is reason why we all do the things we do, or like the things we like. I just can't believe you wouldn't see this as a serious compatibility issue. There are other fish in the sea, and for Dusty, there are fish out there that don't want to be peed on, ones he don't have to wonder or worry about the mental state of, or worry about having communication problems with.

Edited January 8, 2010 by Des

[Art_Critic]

The most ridiculous comment of all in the entire thread though is that he owes her an apology.

 

This woman needs to get her head checked she has mental issues.

 

I don't believe so.. the Original poster himself has mentioned that he reacted and handled the news poorly..

 

What is wrong and admitting to someone that you messed up in how things were and handled and apologize for making things worse ?

Nothing is wrong in doing that..

 

I didn't say for him to apologize for something he didn't do...

 

As far as mental issues..

 

That's crazy talk.. you don't even know the woman and certainly haven't enough info from this thread to satrt diagnosing her mental condition.

 

Talk about ridiculous comments..

[Art_Critic]

What is even crazier though is that some people here think he is ruining the relationship for not accepting her gross request, she is the one that ruined a good thing by speaking too soon like a nut bar.

 

 

I also said that he was ruining a budding relationship.. and he is.. or I should say the way he is handling this is.. he is now cornering her about it and she doesn't want to talk about it.. duh !

[Art_Critic]

Worst advice I have ever read on a public board. You owe her nothing.

 

This is a revolting request she should know better than to expect a postitive reaction.

 

Drop the attacks P face...

 

Your tendency to attack my advice on this thread is tiring..

 

How about giving advice instead of attacking the advice..

 

Become part of the solution instead of part of the problem..

[DustySaltus]

I have a major fetish of ass to mouth!!

Check out a short video i made of me at:

http://bit.ly/8eswNA

Let me know what you think!!

Watch it now!!

 

Thanks..xox

 

Nah, i'm good thanks.

[Vertex]

Hmm, given Poker Face's rather recent join date and the way they "agree" and uniformly bash guys like Art, my money says Poker Face = Des XD

 

 

 

Anyways, Des, of course there are reasons WHY we like what we do, but those reasons don't mean they're necessarily indicative of deepseated issues in everyday relationship interaction or everyday life. Like Malenfant said, she may be submissive in the bedroom, but that doesn't mean she isn't a take-charge type outside of that. Just because someone enjoys the sensation of being peed on, or being ejaculated on, or spanked, or whipped, or tied up, or dressed-up, or ANYTHING else doesn't always mean there's some problem with that.

 

You seem to think that anything considered sexually deviant should just be repressed out of fear of judgment, and to me, that is the very definition of a narrow view perspective.

 

If you find someone's attitudes/preferences for something disgusting, you have every right to break it off. But do it for the right reasons, at the very least! Nobody wants to be judged and pigeonholed for something that isn't a be-all-end-all summary of their persona. You're not being realistic about this.

[Art_Critic]

I already apologized to her about how I said it. She wants me to come over on Saturday to make me dinner. I think that I could get things back on track without a problem. You're right, if I continue to bring it up it would just stunt the growth process.

 

I'm taking the weekend to see whether or not I can accept this. There is a lot about her I like as well. I'm just going to go with the flow....wait a second, that's probably not a good way to describe it....lol.

 

I just read this....

 

Great...

Time will tell how you both work around it..

It also might not be that big of a deal to her to not have that done and just letting it all go right now is the best strategy..

 

I dated a girl once that wanted me to do something to her that was out of my comfort zone and I just told her I wasn't into it and that was that..

We dated for over a year and it never affected our relationship.

[Art_Critic]

I'm guessing that once she has kids and has to change a few hundred diapers, that pee will gradually lose it's erotic appeal.

 

That is so true...nothing erotic about dirty diapers..

Although it can also make it less disgusting too...

 

After I changed a few hundred dirty diapers the whole poop, pee thing is just part of life to me, before the child I kinda had an aversion to poop and now I just deal with it like it was nothing..

 

I see it and have to deal with it almost every few hours or so..

[Lizzie60]

That is so true...nothing erotic about dirty diapers..

Although it can also make it less disgusting too...

 

After I changed a few hundred dirty diapers the whole poop, pee thing is just part of life to me, before the child I kinda had an aversion to poop and now I just deal with it like it was nothing..

 

I see it and have to deal with it almost every few hours or so..

 

 

Don't know about you... but to me.. baby's poop and pee.. is soooo different than adult poop and pee...

[Art_Critic]

IYou are trying to make him feel bad for his reaction and I don't see how you are helping him by insinuating that he was the one out of line.

 

I'm guessing that you either cannot read or are not getting my posts..

 

I never said it was all his issue and that peeing on someone else was all great..

 

I was trying the help show him his part in it and to help him thru it..

and it seems even before reading my advice he did what I suggested and apologized for his REACTION

 

You are the one that has said she has mental issues and to dump her..

That isn't very helpful advice IMO...

 

You do know the difference between a REACTION and an ACTION don't you ?

 

In most cases a misunderstanding or argument happens becuase someone doesn't take a few seconds, minutes to digest something and they REACT instead of ACT.

If someone ACTS after something like this happens in a relationship then the issues get resolves instead of blown out of proportion.

[Vertex]

I disagree with your advice and the tone in which you infer that it is actually the guy who is at fault here. You are trying to make him feel bad for his reaction and I don't see how you are helping him by insinuating that he was the one out of line. This is isn't a normal request, and you can post literature on the consumption of urine and its sterility all you want, but that's going to convince no one that this is normal or even sane. We have toilets to dispose of our pee for a reason.

 

While I agree that he shouldn't be making her feel worse about this request, if he does want to continue on in this relationship, what about how he feels about it? What about his personal concerns about her mental stability?

 

I gave my advice. I told DustySaltus to offer this woman a jar of pee and to walk away. That's my solution. Feel free to disagree with it, I don't turn into a crying Nancy because someone disagrees with me.

 

Your advice is contradictory and derogatory. You say "don't make her feel bad" and yet say things like "offer her a jar of pee and walk away." Not only are you completely missing the point of what constitutes a sexual pleasure, but your solution is inherently childish and discrediting.

 

You're missing the point again, and again, and again. If he wants to break it off with her because he feels he won't be able to maintain compatibility of preferences with something like a desire for golden showers hanging in the balance, that's one thing. But it's another thing to cast judgment on someone's entire state of being off of something that is clearly no fundamentally different in its sexual nature when compared to other relatively commonplace activities.