Left in a Lurch Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 See, I am definetly attracted to her but this just threw me for a loop. I think i'm going to take the weekend to think about it and see how I feel. It's just hard for me to believe that someone who likes this would not have some other underlying issues. It can't be as simple as "Oh, I like that". She said she never did it before either.... If you went down on her, you have probably licked more than you'll ever know. Some people find oral or anal disgusting, I find something like domination just stupid, others might be grossed out by 2 women. A lot of people are into public sex, which would make them potential sex offenders. to each their own. If you don't mind her licking you where you pee, (and don't think that whole area is as clean as a whistle), then her being into something you're not into doesn't make her messed up. People have fantasies, and I guarantee you have a fantasy that a lot of people would label you as gross, or weird, or messed up for having. Do you think there must be some horrible underlying problem with you for having a fantasy? I am sure someone that was brought up really religiously might think the same thing about oral as you do about her fantasy, but would you feel they should think you are gross and abnormal? Or would you think you are the same normal person you see yourself as today?
meerkat stew Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 If you went down on her, you have probably licked more than you'll ever know. We all accept the fact that the cosmos played a trick on us by clumping the fun spots together with the exit ramps. Certain kinds of fetishes do correlate with personality disorders and other undesirable character traits. People who enjoy wearing diapers are indeed more likely to be psychosexually infantile. People who enjoy scat fetishes are indeed more likely to exhibit sociopathic traits. Does it mean those traits rise to the level of a full-blown disorder? No, but the correlation exists and should be considered when forming relationships.
Author DustySaltus Posted January 7, 2010 Author Posted January 7, 2010 If you went down on her, you have probably licked more than you'll ever know. *Runs to medicine cabinet, looking for mouthwash*
Lizzie60 Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 I don't see the big deal... you over-reacted IMO... Golden shower are not my thing.. but if it's a guy fantasy.. I would just tell him .. he'd have to pee on someone else... simple... I would not make a big drama out of this 'common' fantasy... There are a lot of hypocrisy concerning fantasies.. a lot of people have very weird fantasies but would never tell anyone.. or would be all scandalized if someone would talk about it... We have no control on what turns us on or off... it's extremely personal... Fantasies about rape, golden shower... is for no one to judge.. since 'very normal' intelligent people have them...
Author DustySaltus Posted January 7, 2010 Author Posted January 7, 2010 I don't see the big deal... you over-reacted IMO... Golden shower are not my thing.. but if it's a guy fantasy.. I would just tell him .. he'd have to pee on someone else... simple... I would not make a big drama out of this 'common' fantasy... There are a lot of hypocrisy concerning fantasies.. a lot of people have very weird fantasies but would never tell anyone.. or would be all scandalized if someone would talk about it... We have no control on what turns us on or off... it's extremely personal... Fantasies about rape, golden shower... is for no one to judge.. since 'very normal' intelligent people have them... I don't see it as a fantasy. I see it as degrading. She's a doctor as well, with a "stable" upbringing. I did handle it in the wrong manner but as I said, it makes me think there could be other issues....
GorillaTheater Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 I'm guessing that once she has kids and has to change a few hundred diapers, that pee will gradually lose it's erotic appeal.
New_Life08 Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Wow! Don't women get sick of being pissed on? Now they are asking for it? LOL Whether you are over-reacting or not is your own personal choosing. Some people may find urine arousing, while others are disgusted by it. Just follow what feels morally sound for you and stick to it.
New_Life08 Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 I'm guessing that once she has kids and has to change a few hundred diapers, that pee will gradually lose it's erotic appeal. LMAO! You said it! AND, after those kids pop out and she finds she is peeing her pants in the middle of Walmart because she had to sneeze... will bring it to a whole new perspective too.
meerkat stew Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 For Christ's sake piss on her, or I will Or see if pouring a warm Mountain Dew on her back would suffice.
Ms. Joolie Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 ha.... yeah, ask her, "Does it HAVE to be body fluid??" Weird that she's a doctor and this is her fetish. Maybe she's just happy and loves her job.
Lizzie60 Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 For Christ's sake piss on her, or I will OMG... I almost choked laughing...
Lizzie60 Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 I don't see it as a fantasy. I see it as degrading. She's a doctor as well, with a "stable" upbringing. I did handle it in the wrong manner but as I said, it makes me think there could be other issues.... Naahhh... I think you're making a big deal out of nothing.. what's a little piss... but I can understand your disgust... but to think she's got issues... humm... no...
CLC2008 Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 So of course when I decide that I want to move forward with my life after my last "walking on hot coals relationship" and become serious with someone else, i'm already starting to question my decision. Not to move forward, but to get serious with this girl in particular. Why? She wants me to give her a GOLDEN SHOWER. Of course she immediately regretted telling me this when I told her it was disgusting and something I never wanted to be a part of. Now, i'm starting to get nervous that this really is all a facade and she is not the woman I thought she was. I'm about to become a monk. Please help, tell me I have a right to be worried. This is gross, why would anyone want to be tinkled on? I like being kinky, but peeing and pooping belongs in the toilet.
jw90063 Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 There are worse things than wanting to be urinated on, but yes I do think it could indicate she has underlying issues. I know some people think semen is gross, but at least semen is produced due to being sexually aroused. That makes more sense. Urine has nothing to do with that. How do you make the relation between sex and urine. I do not get why someone would want to be peed on or why it turns them on. I think its normal to be extremely put off by this. It's degrading. You have to wonder what else she may into, besides wanting to get peed on. I mean there's probably more where that came from.
CarrieT Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 You know, without over-analyzing... Just because someone has a particular fetish does NOT mean he/she has to have underlying issues. Sometimes a fetish is simply a fetish. Heck, for some people used to nothing but Missionary sex, oral sex is a fetish. And if it isn't hurting anyone or causing too much discomfort to the other person than lighten up, people!
Author DustySaltus Posted January 8, 2010 Author Posted January 8, 2010 Tried to bring up the subject of why she may be into this fetish gently last night (if that's even possible) and she told me that she did not want to talk about that. I think this is going to cause other problems with her opening up to me about other things. Besides that part of the conversation, everything else was fine. The mystery remains....why does she like this? Stay Tuned, I WILL get to the bottom of this.
CarrieT Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 The mystery remains....why does she like this? Dusty, SHE MAY NOT KNOW! Stay Tuned, I WILL get to the bottom of this. I would HEARTILY suggest you do NOT try to get to the bottom of this. Some of us have fetish desires without knowing where they come from. Read my post just above your last entry. Let sleeping dogs lie, I say. There may be stuff there that is best not disturbed, my friend.
Lizzie60 Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 I agree with Carrie.. why is it such a big deal... forget about it... If I were her.. I would sooooo dump you.... What about YOUR fantasies.. maybe she'd think you're a freak ..
Vertex Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Honestly, I almost think you're fixating more on this than she probably does, Dusty, lol. Some people just like certain sexual acts -- they don't necessarily know why. It's a hard question to answer. I'm not just saying this to say it: Someone's who into golden showers is not *that* abnormal. It's certainly in the minority, and it's certainly not mainstream, but it's not like it's an esoteric 6-sigma preference or something. A fair number of people are into it just like a fair number of people are into being tied up or gagged or whatever else you can think of here.
Author DustySaltus Posted January 8, 2010 Author Posted January 8, 2010 I agree with Carrie.. why is it such a big deal... forget about it... If I were her.. I would sooooo dump you.... What about YOUR fantasies.. maybe she'd think you're a freak .. There are two issues here for me: 1) What else is there that I need to know about? Should I try and find out sooner than later before making any more of an investment in her? 2) Is she now going to be completely closed off from me, which will make me do the same and we will be going down a different path to the same destination.... If she did dump me for this, I wouldn't even sweat it. I'm so numb to pain these days....
Art_Critic Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 (edited) There are two issues here for me: 1) What else is there that I need to know about? Should I try and find out sooner than later before making any more of an investment in her? 2) Is she now going to be completely closed off from me, which will make me do the same and we will be going down a different path to the same destination.... If she did dump me for this, I wouldn't even sweat it. I'm so numb to pain these days.... Dusty.. you are making wayyyyyyyy more out of this than you should be. I think they call this shooting yourself in the foot You are basically at the beginnings of ruining a budding relationship over your inability to accept that someone has a fetish and a preference unlike yours. The people who believe she has underlying issues because she wants to be peed on are just way off base.. It isn't like she is asking you to shiot on her while she eats it.. PEE is STERILE. It also can be used as a drink to sustain life if you ever have to go without water in the desert ( I saw that on TV ) If you cannot accept her for who she is then you need to let her go.. let her go find a man that can... I personally feel you owe her a huge apology for re-acting instead of acting when presented with her preference... I also agree that you should not get her to open up about it.. you just need to apologize over the way you judged her and let it go.. Edited January 8, 2010 by Art_Critic
Art_Critic Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Not that I endorse drinking pee but... Here is an interesting Wiki Article on Urine Therapy.. It seems for thousands of years now drinking urine has been considered a therapy and has healing powers.. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urine_therapy
Ms. Joolie Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 She may be mulling over this situation in her own way, wondering if the relationship will work out. This could be part of her sexuality style, of who she is, and she may be thinking that you are totally not on the same page as her. I think you two should definitely see each other again, and see how it goes. If there is an obvious awkwardness due to this address it right away. If not, wait to bring it up until later in the date. You could talk to her about it, tell her it threw you off and that you just reacted to that. You don't have to apologize for reacting the way you did... it was a normal reaction to something that is outside your boundaries. What you could do is share with her a fantasy/fetish of yours and see how she reacts, how she may judge you for it. That's what I would do. I'd reveal my fantasy/fetish and for me that would balance it out, and make her feel comfortable again with sharing that kind of thing with you. So just share in return and see what happens. Or maybe you've already decided that this is a fetish you don't want in your partner. That's perfectly acceptable. If the guy I was dating had this fetish though, and I REALLY liked him, I'd still give it a chance. I would like that he shared this with me. I wouldn't do the golden shower thing though. And maybe eventually we'd see we weren't compatible anyway. But I'd still wait and see.
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