Awesome Username Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Hi all, it's Awesome. I have been feeling a little insecure lately. Every attractive guy I see I presume is taken, so I just seem to ignore them all or give them dirty looks (which I have really worked on, btw). The problem is, I do not want to date anyone who is unattractive to me so I'm at a sort of catch 22. It's not a problem of getting a man for me, it's the problem of getting a man that makes my stomach have butterflies! <3 I haven't seemed able to meet anyone in the last two years who has gotten that reaction out of me. Maybe my standards are too high or conversely, I'm too anxious to really date. Most of the men that come up to me are twice or three times my age, and at this moment in my life I'd like to date someone closer to my age. There are guys my age too, but noone seems to get my heart beating fast. It's not just about looks - I want a guy who is not a lazy bum, who is a genuinely good hardworking person who can save money. Does anyone else seem to feel insecure about this stuff? It's just hard sometimes to think that a beautiful, successful man would settle down with a quirky nerd who works crazy hours and pick a girl like me to stay with. However I don't want to settle. It seems that the most attractive men all have girls after them, so I would have to fight to keep him. It all sounds so exhausting.
Pyro Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Ah the frustrations of dating. Its never easy, but you have to be patient. Unless you have any standards that are too unreasonable, don't settle. You are young and have plenty of time to find Mr. butterflies.
Author Awesome Username Posted January 7, 2010 Author Posted January 7, 2010 Ah the frustrations of dating. Its never easy, but you have to be patient. Unless you have any standards that are too unreasonable, don't settle. You are young and have plenty of time to find Mr. butterflies. Mr. Butterflies! That's totally gonna be his name! (if I ever find him :c )
Pyro Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Mr. Butterflies! That's totally gonna be his name! (if I ever find him :c ) Confidence and patience Mrs. Pine. You are worrying over nothing. Give it time.
Mac McMenamin Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 I don't know, I think it's dangerous assuming anything. It's not easy to do, but if you see a guy you're attracted to, make a move. If he's already taken, you'll find out rather quickly in your approach.
lalala20 Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 I used to feel the exact same way! I was so mean because I was insecure (in a city like la it is easy to be) But it eventually paid off because I did meet someone through a friend and he had heard how mean I was and liked it because he didnt realize i was mean because I was insecure, he just liked the fact that I turned guys down and intimidated them easily. I think that you will find someone, it just takes patience. It always seems to happen when you are finally happy being single and you least expect it!
stillafool Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Hi all, it's Awesome. I have been feeling a little insecure lately. Every attractive guy I see I presume is taken, so I just seem to ignore them all or give them dirty looks (which I have really worked on, btw). Why would you give them dirty looks?
b52s Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 I do not want to date anyone who is unattractive to me so I'm at a sort of catch 22. It's not a problem of getting a man for me, it's the problem of getting a man that makes my stomach have butterflies! Chances are, you're attracted to these men, BUT you think you can do so much better. So you might as well date the average guys. Just curious, how many guys have asked you out that you were not supposedly attracted to?
b52s Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Maybe my standards are too high More than likely, yes....as with most chronically single women these days. Here's a great article from the Today show website When is okay to settle for Mr. Good Enough? Watch the short video too, you'll get a good education.
betamanlet Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Hi all, it's Awesome. I have been feeling a little insecure lately. Every attractive guy I see I presume is taken, so I just seem to ignore them all or give them dirty looks (which I have really worked on, btw). The problem is, I do not want to date anyone who is unattractive to me so I'm at a sort of catch 22. It's not a problem of getting a man for me, it's the problem of getting a man that makes my stomach have butterflies! <3 I haven't seemed able to meet anyone in the last two years who has gotten that reaction out of me. Maybe my standards are too high or conversely, I'm too anxious to really date. Most of the men that come up to me are twice or three times my age, and at this moment in my life I'd like to date someone closer to my age. There are guys my age too, but noone seems to get my heart beating fast. It's not just about looks - I want a guy who is not a lazy bum, who is a genuinely good hardworking person who can save money. Does anyone else seem to feel insecure about this stuff? It's just hard sometimes to think that a beautiful, successful man would settle down with a quirky nerd who works crazy hours and pick a girl like me to stay with. However I don't want to settle. It seems that the most attractive men all have girls after them, so I would have to fight to keep him. It all sounds so exhausting. That would be like me wondering why as a non millionaire, supermodels don't date me. Please have realistic expectations.
stillafool Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 More than likely, yes....as with most chronically single women these days. Here's a great article from the Today show website When is okay to settle for Mr. Good Enough? Watch the short video too, you'll get a good education. That is the worst advice I have ever heard.
Vertex Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 I love quirky people, and considering the type of work environment you've got, you should be SURROUNDED by others who are into quirky people as well?
b52s Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 That is the worst advice I have ever heard. Some of it does make sensee...for instance, how some women should have married the guy they dated or the "nice guy" that was too short for them. etc.
Woggle Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Not saying you should lower your standards but you say yourself you are a quirky nerd so why not pick a man who is the same. You seem just as shallow as the men you complain about.
stillafool Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Some of it does make sensee...for instance, how some women should have married the guy they dated or the "nice guy" that was too short for them. etc. It's not about his appearance. It's whether you feel in love with him. If a woman is stupid enough to break up with a guy she love's because he is too short she deserves to be alone forever!
boogieboy Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Hey Awesome... Once youre able to look at guys and stop thinking: "Ive got this feeling, so appealing, for us to get together and sing, SING!" Then you will get those butterflies..... That song isnt an aphrodisiac!!
Sam Spade Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Attractive men are mostly take because they (we ) are tired of women finding frivolous flaws with them, and are usually happy to just end up with a nice sweet girl and call it a day. Attractive women on the other hand have this overbearing anxiety that they will cash out less than (they believe ) they are worth, so they keep going through men. That's why you see SO FEW single attractive men, and SO MANY single attractive women. On the flip side, the above means that you don't need to be a knockout to lang an attractive guy. You just need to be a less of a bitch/princess than the average woman (which you are ).
OpenGL Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Here we go again... It's too easy. Every single day on LS another woman proves my point and re-validates my threads and opinions on women. You make me sick.
threebyfate Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 It seems that the most attractive men all have girls after them, so I would have to fight to keep him. It all sounds so exhausting.When you get involved with a man who allows you to feel this way, RUN LIKE THE WIND! If a man is honestly into you and committed to the relationship, it won't feel like this at all! Trust me on this one. I've known both types.
b52s Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 It's not about his appearance. It's whether you feel in love with him. If a woman is stupid enough to break up with a guy she love's because he is too short she deserves to be alone forever! well, it also shows that women find reasons to dump men. Sometimes superficial reasons, it seems if they look for failure they WILL find it.
2sure Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 It might just be your mood lately. I have never, not once, ever looked at another man since I met my current husband. I mean, I tried but just couldnt muster up any attraction even vicariously. And now, with divorce looming I have to admit that the prospect of dating or even attraction is not something that crosses my mind. But you know...I'm just starting to think ...its a possibility. They are out there. You just have to be in the mood.
carhill Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 If a man is honestly into you and committed to the relationship, it won't feel like this at all! Exactly. This dynamic is so equal-opportunity. Perhaps that's what the OP needs to work on.
meerkat stew Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Yes, top 60th percentile of U.S. women, keep on expecting that each and every one of you deserves a top 10th percentile husband. How's that working out?
zhsoj Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Awesome, I'd just like to point out that the expression you used as your title is misleading. The comparison "Attractive men == taken" would be a little clearer than the assignment for the majority of programmers out there. I thought you would've known better :-P
Pizzaman81 Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 <------ ...Every attractive guy I see I presume is taken On a serious note, I think it's an inside job, meaning it's in your head. There's more of a chance that a super attractive woman is taken than an attractive guy is taken.
Recommended Posts