ginyi1111 Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 My ex dumped me on skype (we were in a LDR) two weeks after he went home after visiting me for my bday. He said he couldnt handle the distance anymore and he went NC the day we broke up. After a couple of sad texts to him in the couple of weeks after the breakup (no response whatsoever from him), I decided to go NC myself to salvage my pride and sanity. I have since deactivated my FB and transferred to another department that will not deal with his work mails. It has been 6 weeks of NC and I should be doing better but why am I still a complete wreck. Crying myself to sleep and wake up with a physical pain in my chest. And all the progress that was made would go down the drain when I heard his name being mentioned or see his work mail. How do I convince myself that he doesnt love me anymore. That I am not the one that can make him happy. That he doesnt care what is going on in my life now and that he doesnt care how I feel. How do I stop reliving our last conversation and not breakdown remembering his parting words?? I have done everything I could to distance myself from him..NC, new dept at work, not asking about him from mutual friends....but it's as if there is this small thought at the deepest corner of my brain or heart wishing he would contact me...to show that I am not just a discarded piece of junk to him..
sugarmomma Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Its natural what you're feeling. Just take it one day at a time. Feel all you rfeelings and don't suppress them or drink a lot of alcohol. Try to be good to yourself i.e nails, new hair do, massage, new dress, etc. I could go on and on. Get out and spend time with your family and friends. Don't forget the five stages of grief( google it) because it truly helped me to let go and move forward with my life. Trust the process. and this too shall pass.
blinded Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 It sounds like you're already on the right track in terms of changing your life. Keep it up. I really think time will make things better to deal with. We have to have the mentality that we are stronger than this. One person doesn't define who we are or our self worth. Only we ourselves do. (hugs)
gaudi Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Of course it's natural, and you very much are on the right track. it's just that the point at which you are is the hardest part. If we could just make all the feelings go away with a click of the fingers we would do so. But the only way is to focus on yourself right now, keep yourself busy, do things that make you happy, and you will start to learn to forget all about him, or make him a distant memory at the very least. Good Luck Chuck...x
Author ginyi1111 Posted January 8, 2010 Author Posted January 8, 2010 Or maybe I should thanks my lucky stars that unlike many of the exes here, he is keeping up with strict NC..hmmm..
HeavenOrHell Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 I wish I had the answer but I'm so pathetic I still have a tiny bit of hope nearly 6 months on (after 18 years together), I guess it will just fade away bit by bit, bloody hope so or I'll end up in the psych unit
soheartbroken Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 I wish I had the answer but I'm so pathetic I still have a tiny bit of hope nearly 6 months on (after 18 years together), I guess it will just fade away bit by bit, bloody hope so or I'll end up in the psych unit Right with you! I wouldn't call us pathetic...just sensitive maybe?
teanoranges Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 It just kind of starts to fade as time goes on I think. For me, at least, the more time that goes by, the more I realize he seriously has no feelings left for me. In realizing that, there's no other choice but to let go because your life just takes over. I find myself now trying to cling to the hope sometimes, like if I let go I lose something... but its already gone so I don't get it either.
SadKitty78 Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 You lose that "hope" feeling which is counterproductive to the moving-on process by telling yourself there is ABSOLUTELY NO HOPE! I know it's hard to accept, but it really helps with your sanity! It's probably hard to accept, but getting it out of your system is better than holding on to that "hope" weeks, months or years down the line!
Author ginyi1111 Posted January 9, 2010 Author Posted January 9, 2010 Right with you! I wouldn't call us pathetic...just sensitive maybe? I think we should be called pathetic LOL! What are we doing...pining over someone that has dumped us??! Who doesnt wanna be with us..and by the end of the day, we are still hoping that they will come back to us???? GAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! I HATE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!
dreamer84 Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 You lose that "hope" feeling which is counterproductive to the moving-on process by telling yourself there is ABSOLUTELY NO HOPE! I know it's hard to accept, but it really helps with your sanity! It's probably hard to accept, but getting it out of your system is better than holding on to that "hope" weeks, months or years down the line! lol not to blow down your house of cards but why did I do that and she came back lol (I swear i thought it was impossible she would ever speak to me again) but please don't listen to me, it was just by chance...think THERE IS NO HOPE 1
Author ginyi1111 Posted January 10, 2010 Author Posted January 10, 2010 Sigh...just found out from some colleagues that ex might get into trouble at work, and now am worried for him. Pathetic! I miss him, frustrated with him, hate him, love him, and now worried for him...
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