OceanTropic Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 I often hear that many men are intimidated by success, or beauty, or if a woman is taller, or richer. Is this true? Or is it really the fear of rejection that gets them every time? And why do men fear rejection so much? What's the big deal? I've been forward with men and have been blown off a few times myself. I am not discouraged.
meerkat stew Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 A woman with a hairy back intimidates the hell out of me.
tami-chan Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 A woman with a hairy back intimidates the hell out of me. LOL!!!! you are really funny...stew! Anyway, are men really intimidated by the things the OP mentioned? I don't care if my man earns less than me, I just want him to be successful and passionate about what he is doing. I wouldn't want to be with a man who is intimidated by how much I bring home....that's just unnecessary drama in the relationship.
Sam Spade Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 I often hear that many men are intimidated by success, or beauty, or if a woman is taller, or richer. Is this true? Or is it really the fear of rejection that gets them every time? And why do men fear rejection so much? What's the big deal? I've been forward with men and have been blown off a few times myself. I am not discouraged. This is bull****. You can only be intimidated by something if you don't value yourself enough. I've got no problem acknowledging when someone is superior to me in some aspect (perhaps because so few are ), but I'm certainly not intimidated, even on the rare occasions it is true . Similarly, I don't expect people to be intimidated just because of my education or whatever. One of the few measures of class is feeling of equality with everything on earth. Conversely, anybody who spends too much time admiring their own superiority is a scumbag in my book .
meerkat stew Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 How much do geishas make these days exactly, Tami? To answer OP's question honestly, I personally have never been intimidated by any trait of a woman I've dated other than the level of attention some of them were getting from other men while we were dating. I was in a longer term relationship with a woman once who had men pulling up to her car in traffic just to throw their business card at her, who had 5+ men at work smitten with her and wooing her, and every where we went, men would be hitting on her, sometimes respectfully due to my presence, sometimes not so respectfully. She had celebrities and millionaires after her also at various times while we were together, which can be quite intimidating. After the intimidation wore off when I started to get tired of her, it just got old. She ended up cheating on me, and by that time it was good riddance on my end.
tami-chan Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 How much do geishas make these days exactly, Tami? You would ask that!..it's not becoming to discuss money in public!
meerkat stew Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 You would ask that!..it's not becoming to discuss money in public! I knew it! You have those mad geisha seduction internetz skillz! Is that how you geishas find "patrons" these days? I'll sign up be sure to bring the shamisen when you come over!
Untouchable_Fire Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 I often hear that many men are intimidated by success, or beauty, or if a woman is taller, or richer. Is this true? Or is it really the fear of rejection that gets them every time? And why do men fear rejection so much? What's the big deal? I've been forward with men and have been blown off a few times myself. I am not discouraged. Some people fear rejection more than others... it's not particularly a male trait. In fact I think men are more often better at taking rejection. Now... Constant rejection is a totally different story. That can drive people bonkers. In terms of women with money, beauty, power... ect. Men know that women typically refuse to marry down... so to speak. Jennifer Hudson is a perfect example. Her janitor boyfriend was the love of her life... until she got some success. Then he seemed like deadweight.
tami-chan Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 I knew it! You have those mad geisha seduction internetz skillz! Is that how you geishas find "patrons" these days? I'll sign up be sure to bring the shamisen when you come over! LOL!!!!! you are a riot!...shamisen broke...but I have speculum..!
meerkat stew Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 but I have speculum..! I'm not midwifing your child, you cunning geisha, leave the speculum at home!
Mac McMenamin Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 The big one for me is the fear of rejection. I would love to be one of those people who was able to disregard it, but it takes a lot of effort for me to get the nerve to approach someone. The last thing I want is to get pushed aside like leftovers. Like it was mentioned above, this issue has more to do with me and my self-confidence, I guess?
stillafool Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Some people fear rejection more than others... it's not particularly a male trait. In fact I think men are more often better at taking rejection. Now... Constant rejection is a totally different story. That can drive people bonkers. In terms of women with money, beauty, power... ect. Men know that women typically refuse to marry down... so to speak. Jennifer Hudson is a perfect example. Her janitor boyfriend was the love of her life... until she got some success. Then he seemed like deadweight.[/QUOTE] I know. That made me angry. I couldn't believe she dropped that nice guy to be with the Harvard attorney.
stillafool Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 How much do geishas make these days exactly, Tami? To answer OP's question honestly, I personally have never been intimidated by any trait of a woman I've dated other than the level of attention some of them were getting from other men while we were dating. I was in a longer term relationship with a woman once who had men pulling up to her car in traffic just to throw their business card at her, who had 5+ men at work smitten with her and wooing her, and every where we went, men would be hitting on her, sometimes respectfully due to my presence, sometimes not so respectfully. She had celebrities and millionaires after her also at various times while we were together, which can be quite intimidating. After the intimidation wore off when I started to get tired of her, it just got old. She ended up cheating on me, and by that time it was good riddance on my end. This is interesting. I always thought men were flattered when other men wanted the woman they were dating. I know I would be intimadated if someone I was dating was constantly being hit on by other women.
Meaplus3 Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 I think it all depends on the way the man feels about himself. If he has a healthy self esteem.. then a woman should not intimidate him. If not, well then IMO. it's a matter of something that's lacking within the guy.. that would lead him to be weary of woman. Mea:)
Vertex Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 People don't necessarily intimidate me because I feel pretty secure in what I have going for myself -- I'd probably be a bit offput if a girl were taller than me... but that's only because I'm well over 6 feet. O.o
Lizzie60 Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 I can say that my huge breasts have intimidate a few... they were red like a beet.. and didn't know where to look...
boogieboy Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Approach anxiety is the most intimidating thing to men who dont approach women cold often. Thats it, Maybe in high school guys were a lil intimidated by a popular girl, but as adults? no way. I never knew a guy who was intimidated by anything of a woman other than fear of her cheating on him.
stevejohnson1976 Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 tall, aggressive chicks.....bad experience when i was in HS with a senior and i was a freshman....
carhill Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 And why do men fear rejection so much? What's the big deal? IME, it would be akin to the results from consistent and long-lived emotional manipulation or abuse. Occasional rejection is like occasional abuse, with regard to the psyche. Brush it off and move on. However, if it's consistent over time, it wears on a person's psyche. In this scenario, the mere fact that a man approaches one particular women out of hundreds he meets sets her apart from them in his mind, for whatever his reasons are. Even though he doesn't know her, she matters enough to cause him to approach her. If he was rejected by those other hundreds who didn't matter that much, it wouldn't affect him. They don't matter. Herein lies the difficulty. The man must compartmentalize the reality of this particular woman mattering enough to approach from how he feels globally. With life experience, he can learn to refine those boxes. The downside is, with refined boxes, he has the ability to compartmentalize many aspects of his psychology, which I often describe as 'kill in the morning, kiss the baby at lunch'. In a way, it hardens his heart. Some people call it 'growing a thick skin'. Such has its positives, but also its negatives, which women here on LS often describe as 'emotional unavailability'. A good way of understanding this dynamic is to imagine never being approached or having your attractiveness to the opposite gender validated in any way. Then, with that in place, go out and approach men you find attractive. Try it with a 'crush'. Perhaps you'll never know the reality of consistent rejection, and, if so, good on ya. You'll never have to live what some men have. BTW, the OP title read "What 'intimates' men?" Generally, IME, a receptive and emotionally available woman intimates me
meerkat stew Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 oh gawd, I'm actually starting to like your humor Thanks, I play well with others unless the topic of U.S. political/economic gender relations comes up. Too much work in courthouses and jails in the South has done that to me! Don't take me too seriously just blowing off steam for the most part.
Johnny M Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 (edited) I often hear that many men are intimidated by success, or beauty, or if a woman is taller, or richer. Is this true? Or is it really the fear of rejection that gets them every time? And why do men fear rejection so much? What's the big deal? I've been forward with men and have been blown off a few times myself. I am not discouraged. Fear of rejection is the main reason behind intimidation (for both sexes). No one likes to feel 'unworthy'. People who don't worry about rejection are either exceptionally confident or, at the opposite extreme, have no self esteem and have resigned themselves to the fact that they will be rejected 99% percent of the time (and are consequently playing the numbers game). Most men and women fear rejection, albeit to varying degrees. Edited January 7, 2010 by Johnny M
Edward10 Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Effort Men tend to be "creatures of habit", ie lazy
skydiveaddict Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 I once dated a fat chick with a beard. VERY intimidating! (shudder)
Recommended Posts