xbluudevilx Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 whats good yall. new here. pretty good information on this newly stumbled upon forum anyway, me and the ex has been apart for about a month and a half. no contact was in full force. i was the dumpee btw. last night, it (she) texted me saying shes been thinking about me a lot lately, mentioning the previous holidays that past by us was a very hard time for her, while ive let go and moved on without looking back. among other things she said: still loves me more than anyone else, can never get over me, cant stop the way her heart feels. i told her that shes the one who did this to us. about an hour earliar today, she says she wants to see me after work. hmmm.. i dont really know if i should go or not. dont get me wrong. i was with her for 2 1/2 years and i loved her. i still have some feelings for her, but my mind is already set the "its over" mode. what do you guys think?
pinky92630 Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Since you've moved on, even though you have feelings for her, is a good thing. It sounds like you're her rebound guy. Best to stay friends as this point.
Author xbluudevilx Posted January 7, 2010 Author Posted January 7, 2010 So it texted me saying she's "very confused". i didnt bother asking about what. i would like her to give me a good closure and end it on a "good note"... so i said, "thats fine. whenever youre done being confused, call me. until then, i wish u the best."
paddington bear Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 So it texted me saying she's "very confused". i didnt bother asking about what. i would like her to give me a good closure and end it on a "good note"... so i said, "thats fine. whenever youre done being confused, call me. until then, i wish u the best." Oh God that is both hilarious and brilliant. Damn! Must use that the next time, kind of all purpose: When you're done figuring out your feelings, when you're done just wanting to be friends, when you are ready for a relationship... Genius! And in your situation a perfect reply. You don't want to be 'friends' with her, you can't if she's still in love with you, nor do you want an emotional mess on your hands when you've moved on. So, bravo. Well handled.
OceanTropic Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 I think she is just lonely, or can't find another boyfriend, so she is calling you. I'll be 100% honest, but after some of my breakups (with the same guy, we had a messy relationship) the main reason I ran back to him was because I was lonely, and I loved being loved by him. I loved him as well, dont get me wrong. 2 years is a long time, but I broke up with him. If a girl breaks up with you, or a guy for that matter, when they run back, its not for you, but for something else. Breaking up after that long is a serious decision, people are sure of it when they do it. If they come back, its not because of you. At least, thats what I firmly believe.
Author xbluudevilx Posted January 7, 2010 Author Posted January 7, 2010 I think she is just lonely, or can't find another boyfriend, so she is calling you. I'll be 100% honest, but after some of my breakups (with the same guy, we had a messy relationship) the main reason I ran back to him was because I was lonely, and I loved being loved by him. I loved him as well, dont get me wrong. 2 years is a long time, but I broke up with him. If a girl breaks up with you, or a guy for that matter, when they run back, its not for you, but for something else. Breaking up after that long is a serious decision, people are sure of it when they do it. If they come back, its not because of you. At least, thats what I firmly believe. i do kinda believe the same beliefs you have. she does have 2 kids.. by 2 diff fathers... so im thinking no one is ever going to care for those 3 like i did.
Author xbluudevilx Posted January 7, 2010 Author Posted January 7, 2010 Oh God that is both hilarious and brilliant. Damn! Must use that the next time, kind of all purpose: When you're done figuring out your feelings, when you're done just wanting to be friends, when you are ready for a relationship... Genius! And in your situation a perfect reply. You don't want to be 'friends' with her, you can't if she's still in love with you, nor do you want an emotional mess on your hands when you've moved on. So, bravo. Well handled. thank you sir. i looked in the mirror and pointed at myself and said, damn youre good. LOL
paddington bear Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 thank you sir. i looked in the mirror and pointed at myself and said, damn youre good. LOL madam, not sir!
paddington bear Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 ha ha! I'm mortally wounded. Whatcha going to do if she calls again after that statement you gave her, saying 'I'm not confused now, I know I want you?'
boogieboy Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 You did the right thing. Tell her if she wants to talk you can talk to her over the phone...dont let her see you, act like youre too busy. She might have dumped you for another guy and it didnt work out so she is testing the waters with you. If she has kids by different dads, I think you dodged a bullet.
freestyle Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 You might get even more insight by reading some of the threads in the "Breaking up" forum here. Also I'd like to suggest reading Caliguy's No Contact Guide, it's got some great ideas. It sounds like you're doing okay right now, but it does take a while to truly clear your head after a long-term R...........
Author xbluudevilx Posted January 7, 2010 Author Posted January 7, 2010 ha ha! I'm mortally wounded. Whatcha going to do if she calls again after that statement you gave her, saying 'I'm not confused now, I know I want you?' lol. sorry. i have some candies.. want some? itll make u feel better. im not the type to play games but ill just not answer. im happy where im at. she did this to us and i was rotting the first week. so im good now. @boogieboy: that bullet has my name all over it and i will not dodge it because they saw me as a father figure and i love them alot.
soconfusing Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 @boogieboy: that bullet has my name all over it and i will not dodge it because they saw me as a father figure and i love them alot. Do you still have a relationship with her kids then?
Author xbluudevilx Posted January 7, 2010 Author Posted January 7, 2010 ^ i do. not as much as before but yes, i still do.
Author xbluudevilx Posted January 11, 2010 Author Posted January 11, 2010 soooo.. quick update.. i was in long beach at Roscoe's Chicken & Waffles. It texted me and asked where I was at. So me being nice, I said Long Beach.. it proceeded to say "looking for some h0es in LB?".. i didnt respond. so i got a plate of chicken & waffles. i texted her back and said "damn right i got me some chicks.." she flipped out and i sent her a pic of my plate. she called me an asshat. i left it at that. this b1tch plays too much.
Author xbluudevilx Posted January 18, 2010 Author Posted January 18, 2010 so i am meeting her up this weekend at storage to get all my stuff out. havent seen her for almost 2 months. its gonna be weird. im just gonna get my stuff and go. what if she starts getting emotional, asking me if i still love her and all that crap? what should i do? because i know shes still single and i know she still has feelings.
paddington bear Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 It is going to be weird. Have you a friend or two that you can bring with you? That should quash any public, emotional displays or thoughts in the back of her mind of 'now is my opportunity to work on him in person'. You could always bring your fake 'girlfriend' some female she doesn't know, to help you get your stuff, although that might be a bit mean and rub salts into obviously already opened wounds. PS she's no right to flip out! You are not with her any more, whether you are looking a chicks or southern fried chick(en), none of her business, she has no claim over you any more. If she starts angling for information on your current dating life again, either don't respond or respond saying 'I'm not dignifying that with an answer' or some such. Your problem is, you are trying to break up with her, but be nice at the same time. Her problem is that she wants to get back with you, so is perhaps seeing your niceness as a spark of hope. Best of luck with the move - (I'm such a coward, I tend to take all my stuff out bit by bit prior to breaking up, so that I don't end up in the position you are now in, being forced to go back to get it all and thus confront the ex).
Author xbluudevilx Posted January 18, 2010 Author Posted January 18, 2010 It is going to be weird. Have you a friend or two that you can bring with you? That should quash any public, emotional displays or thoughts in the back of her mind of 'now is my opportunity to work on him in person'. You could always bring your fake 'girlfriend' some female she doesn't know, to help you get your stuff, although that might be a bit mean and rub salts into obviously already opened wounds. PS she's no right to flip out! You are not with her any more, whether you are looking a chicks or southern fried chick(en), none of her business, she has no claim over you any more. If she starts angling for information on your current dating life again, either don't respond or respond saying 'I'm not dignifying that with an answer' or some such. Your problem is, you are trying to break up with her, but be nice at the same time. Her problem is that she wants to get back with you, so is perhaps seeing your niceness as a spark of hope. Best of luck with the move - (I'm such a coward, I tend to take all my stuff out bit by bit prior to breaking up, so that I don't end up in the position you are now in, being forced to go back to get it all and thus confront the ex). i will not bring a female just because this woman is a psycho. lOl itll make situation worst, since shes saying "sorry to bother you and ruin your happiness WITHOUT ME," or asking me if i bedded any chicks or hjave i been seing anyone else. if anything, ill probably just bring my little brother since her kids LOVES him. last goodbyes, i guess. think thats a good move? ps. mmmm... fried chicken...
Author xbluudevilx Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 SO i didnt go and get the stuff yet, just because i dont want to see her and engage with her. on saturday, she emailed meand asked for my number and dodged it. after the 10th time, i gave in and gave it to her and ended the very short and one worded convo. sunday, she texted me asking if i removed her name off of my wrist and my neck. i said no and and she said "k". i ended the convo again. hmm.
BG1985 Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 My ex-girlfriend kept telling me that she was so confused about her feelings, but it always ended the same. We'd start seeing each other again, then she would say that she's no longer confused and wants me gone. Then she would reel me in again. Vicious cycle.
Author xbluudevilx Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 My ex-girlfriend kept telling me that she was so confused about her feelings, but it always ended the same. We'd start seeing each other again, then she would say that she's no longer confused and wants me gone. Then she would reel me in again. Vicious cycle. LOL. Woman are strange species. Cant live with them, cant live without them..
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