donkey riding Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 well before i make people hate me just listen to me first. been married 8 years etc. just started dating scene again and seems to me most women are letting them selfs go. weight seem to be up alot more now then in past. are guys looking for heavy set women or even girls with bellies.
xpaperxcutx Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Well the last twenty years, the world itself has seen a rise in obesity ( not just in the US, although US is the leading obesity factor). And it's not just women, men let themselves go as well. I think instead of judging you should be more sympathetic that people don't really eat too healthy.
paddington bear Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 It's a problem in the western world. Having said that...I put on so much weight the 3 times I was in the States. You really have to work much harder in America not to get fat. Absolutely massive portions in restaurants - child portion would be the equivalent to a normal portion for me. Free re-fills of soda also a disaster. And then the whole driving culture. People (from the limited amount I've seen of the States) don't walk to get from A to B, but drive everywhere. I was in Mississippi working once and the police stopped me because 'gasp!' I was walking the 10 minutes from my hotel to a bar and that was seen as suspicious behaviour. Which means you really have to make the effort to find the time 'to exercise' as opposed to being able to just fit some extra in around your normal life. Add to this a love and appreciation of good food in the States and I imagine if I lived there I would be massively obese - again the USA is a whole continent, I've only seen a few areas, but that was my impression from what I saw.
meerkat stew Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Of course guys aren't looking for fat women, but many will tolerate it, and this is a trend I've noticed over the last 20 years also. I attribute it to women's overtaking the low level service economy entirely and sitting in front of computers all day at work with no exercise to balance. Women also get away with this because men are wimps and don't demand that their SOs or wives exercise and stay fit. I live in a metro suburb in the South and the women are disgusting. No dating prospects whatsoever. I'm 20 lbs overweight myself atm due to an injury recovery and quitting smoking, and maybe 10% of the local dating pool is that level of overweight or less. Thank goodness for internet dating or I'd be a monk. Many of my married friends married a healthy, fit girl who turned into a walrus immediately once the ring was on her finger (and I mean in the first YEAR of marriage) and I thank my lucky stars not to have fallen into that lifetime trap.
Crazy Magnet Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 The trend goes both ways! I'm a healthy fit woman, around 105-110 pounds, and I personally think I look funny with bigger guys. So I have to spend a long time looking for fit/in shape/thinner guys so I don't look retarded. Yeah, I have awesome metabolism (knock on wood), but thanks to living overseas a lot, I try to walk where ever I can, park in the way back of the parking lot, take the stairs, etc. I don't know if that counts for exercise, but I tell myself it does.
quankanne Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 oh good heavens, have we become that superficial as a people? granted, it's smart to live a healthy lifestyle, size or shape shouldn't be a deal-breaker, but whether the person being considered as a partner is a decent guy/gal. Fat, thin, ugly, hot, etc ... all superficial stuff when compared to what's inside. I feel SO OLD reading these whine-rants that have nothing to do with being in an emotionally, psychologically healthy relationship.
Author donkey riding Posted January 6, 2010 Author Posted January 6, 2010 well im 5'10 165lbs in shape and damn good looking. i have no problem meeting women or pickn them up. just hate dealn w over weight women that are bitchs or dont put out. the hot women are a handfull and dont need anymore of that in my life, just wondering where the normal women went. not hot and crazy/laidback and over weight. looking for a mix of both.
meerkat stew Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 oh good heavens, have we become that superficial as a people? There's nothing superficial at all about expecting to date someone who is not morbidly obese, and I'm 45 btw. When "size or shape" means that most women in my geographical area look like cannonballs, while most men remain average to slightly overweight, it is most certainly a dealbreaker and should be. Why should people be expected to date lazy, gluttonous fat-asses? No one is judged for not wanting to date a smoker, meth-head or alcoholic, why is fat any different? I'll tell you why, because women bristle and become suddenly judgmental and defensive when told they need to expend any effort at all to attract men.
Crazy Magnet Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 There's nothing superficial at all about expecting to date someone who is not morbidly obese, and I'm 45 btw. When "size or shape" means that most women in my geographical area look like cannonballs, while most men remain average to slightly overweight, it is most certainly a dealbreaker and should be. Why should people be expected to date lazy, gluttonous fat-asses? No one is judged for not wanting to date a smoker, meth-head or alcoholic, why is fat any different? I'll tell you why, because women bristle and become suddenly judgmental and defensive when told they need to expend any effort at all to attract men. That! I completely agree. I really don't want to be with someone who's going to drop dead at 40 from a heart attack b/c they are so unhealthy.
sally4sara Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Of course people aren't looking for fat meerkat stew, but many will tolerate it, and this is a trend I've noticed over the last 20 years also. I attribute it to meerkat stew overtaking the low level service economy entirely and sitting in front of computers all day at work with no exercise to balance. Meerkat stew also gets away with this because people are wimps and don't demand that meerkat stew exercise and stay fit. I live in a metro suburb in the South and meerkat stew is disgusting. No dating prospects whatsoever. I'm 20 lbs overweight myself atm due to an injury recovery and quitting smoking, and maybe 10% of the local dating pool is that level of overweight or less. Thank goodness for internet dating or I'd be a monk. Many of my married friends married a healthy, fit meerkat stew who turned into a walrus immediately once the ring was on meerkat stew's finger (and I mean in the first YEAR of marriage) and I thank my lucky stars not to have fallen into that lifetime trap. sounds really odd? A chubby meerkat stew complaining about well - what if he did think of women as being the same race as himself?
threebyfate Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 OP, did you live in an opaque bubble when you were married? If not, the size of people should have been in your face, this entire time.
burning 4 revenge Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 That! I completely agree. I really don't want to be with someone who's going to drop dead at 40 from a heart attack b/c they are so unhealthy. I would if they had life insurance
meerkat stew Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 sounds really odd? A chubby meerkat stew complaining about well - what if he did think of women as being the same race as himself? Nice try, thanks for playing, please come again. 20 pounds overweight for me means a 36" waist as opposed to 32", very slight belly, slight lovehandles, no side rolls, no "chin" firm 44" chest with no moobs whatsoever. The average 30-50 y.o. man in my area looks pretty much like me, just not quite as muscular of build. The average woman in my area has no waist, none, giant completely flaccid boobs, a much bigger belly than me, huge jowls and many chins. I estimate the average female overweight in my area at 60-120 pounds. I went out NYE weekend to a local club, of the 100 women there, maybe 5 were not morbidly obese. Once more, thank goodness for internet dating, but even that is cram full of gigantic cows, just in lower ratio than my locale.
sally4sara Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 20 pounds overweight for me means a 36" waist as opposed to 32", very slight belly, slight lovehandles, no side rolls, no "chin" firm 44" chest with no moobs whatsoever. The average 30-50 y.o. man in my area looks pretty much like me Maybe this has become standard because women haven't been demanding that men exercise and stay fit.
meerkat stew Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Maybe this has become standard because women haven't been demanding that men exercise and stay fit. Sorry, no food for you, go back under your bridge.
sally4sara Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Sorry, no food for you, go back under your bridge. Can't make a meal of your own logic?
Lizzie60 Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 well before i make people hate me just listen to me first. been married 8 years etc. just started dating scene again and seems to me most women are letting them selfs go. weight seem to be up alot more now then in past. are guys looking for heavy set women or even girls with bellies. I don't know how old you are ...but young girls tend to be skinny.. older women tend to be overweight... I have to fight constantly to NOT gain weight... it's a constant battle after a certain age..
sagetalk Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Yes, in general women are larger. It makes me sad, but it is true. Slim women are becoming more rare and I hate that. I am tall and slim, and I like the same kind of women. The reasons are many why they are disappearing, but one of the main reasons is the American diet that is heavily based on corn. One of the major causes is high fructose corn syrup (which is in almost every soda except diet) and many other, more hidden in the ingredients, corn products. Corn is feed to cattle to make them fat, so it shouldn't surprise anyone when Americans (who eat way too much corn product) are overweight. Two other major problems are a lack of drinking enough water and a poor exercise routine. All lead to bigger bellies .
doushenka Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Absolutely massive portions in restaurants - child portion would be the equivalent to a normal portion for me. Free re-fills of soda also a disaster. This kills me, too. I actually order child portions even when I'm hungry, because I know I can't finish a normal! My go-to fast food place -- an Italian joint -- just went to a "small" soda roughly half a liter full. And then the whole driving culture. People (from the limited amount I've seen of the States) don't walk to get from A to B, but drive everywhere. For me, that's got more to do with where I'm located than wanting to drive everywhere; from my house into the heart of the village, it's five minutes driving but thirty walking at a good clip, using the shortcut. Not reasonable when you're seeing highs of about fifteen Fahrenheit between December and March -- and our village is not exactly hopping, either...
stepka Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 I"m about 25 lbs overweight and not offended by this at all. I would love to get this weight off and it's hard, esp when I include sweets in the diet. But if a man works hard to keep his weight off, then why shouldn't he expect the same in a woman? I really don't want to date overweight men, though at my age that has more to do with the fact that men die younger than women and are more prone to heart disease, which would be a bigger problem with an overweight man, esp if he doesn't exercise. When I traveled around the world a couple of years ago, I noticed that most of the European and Aussie women were about my size--I just didn't see any of the massive obesity that you see in America. And you guys can quit picking on the southerners--Massachusetts is the fattest state!
Holding-On Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 I don't know how old you are ...but young girls tend to be skinny.. older women tend to be overweight... I have to fight constantly to NOT gain weight... it's a constant battle after a certain age.. EXACTLY what I was thinking. I don't suspect that the dating market careened out of control in less than a decade but that more likely you are not in the dating pool of twenty something women anymore. Those 20 year olds/slim 30/40s that would date you have, as you put it, high maintenance issues. The lower maintenance slim women probably are married or have boyfriends.
burning 4 revenge Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 I"m about 25 lbs overweight and not offended by this at all. I would love to get this weight off and it's hard, esp when I include sweets in the diet. But if a man works hard to keep his weight off, then why shouldn't he expect the same in a woman? I really don't want to date overweight men, though at my age that has more to do with the fact that men die younger than women and are more prone to heart disease, which would be a bigger problem with an overweight man, esp if he doesn't exercise. When I traveled around the world a couple of years ago, I noticed that most of the European and Aussie women were about my size--I just didn't see any of the massive obesity that you see in America. And you guys can quit picking on the southerners--Massachusetts is the fattest state! http://www.statemaster.com/graph/hea_obe_rat-health-obesity-rate no its not
D-Lish Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 I don't know how old you are ...but young girls tend to be skinny.. older women tend to be overweight... I see far too many young women that are pudgy these days! Way more than when I was younger. I am lucky to be much thinner now than I was as a teen and 20's- but I work at it everyday. I count every calorie that goes into my mouth, I work out everyday, and if I want to go out and have a couple of drinks in the evening- I limit my calories during the day and try and burn extra energy in my work out. It's tough to maintain, but I do it.
quankanne Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 There's nothing superficial at all about expecting to date someone who is not morbidly obese no, there's not, but damn, the constant whining tends to be annoying on these boards.
sagetalk Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 I count every calorie that goes into my mouth, I work out everyday, and if I want to go out and have a couple of drinks in the evening- I limit my calories during the day and try and burn extra energy in my work out. It's tough to maintain, but I do it. May you inspire other women to do the same. I workout almost everyday, and it is sad to see so few women who do as well. They would feel and look better. It's a win-win situation.
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